The Shed 24

a reply to: Finspiracy

She knows how you feel. Is it ok to ask has your mom passed?

originally posted by: ColoradoJens
a reply to: Finspiracy

She knows how you feel. Is it ok to ask has your mom passed?

Every question is ok. Every single question. And treated with gratitude because someone shows interest towards me and my life.

But i may not answer.

This time i will. She is alive. But i did an awful thing a year ago when it was summer. We had a minor verbal fight via telephone. I lost it, went outside and drank an insane amount of booze. Ended up in the hospital, ambulance took me there. I slept for a couple of hours, woke up, refused all treatment and wandered into the night in a hospital outfit.

Checked my phone in the morning. TXT from mom. That she has had enough. I understand. I understand her, i do not understand myself. Of course she was notified about this incident because in the papers she is marked as the closest relative.

So i have been disowned. Not a single day goes by without massive regret.

a reply to: Finspiracy

I'm sorry Fin. That I cannot imagine. Perhaps you can send her this message?

We all make mistakes, especially at a young age. Please dont be hard on yourself. Tell her you love her.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Fin this is the perfect day to reach out to her. You can do this, I believe in you! She is probably hoping that you will.

a reply to: ColoradoJens

Love your music Jens! What do you mean you'll be leaving in a couple of weeks?

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOM'S! That includes pet Mom's too.



And Happy Mothers Day to my Mom in heaven! Miss you so much!

originally posted by: BugWhisperer
a reply to: Night Star

I think I love his accent as much as his music.

I do too!
Scottish is my favorite of all accents!

But, I usually cannot make it out, even when spoken slowly!

But I love it, I could listen to it forever!

If we ever get to meet Gordi, we'll just hire a translator.

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Finspiracy

Fin this is the perfect day to reach out to her. You can do this, I believe in you! She is probably hoping that you will.

No. Do not do that. I forbid you to believe in me regarding this issue. Umm... i am not in a position to forbid anyone doing anything, but i make a friendly request. Believe me regarding other things but not in this. Because i WILL let you down and then i am hurting even more, because i like you.

a reply to: Night Star

It goes a little bit like this. You were the first one to understand that i communicate with music. Maybe others have noticed during the years, but you wrote it. And made me feel validated.

Someone did this spray painting... I think it was the subway tunnels of London. Really big letters really far apart. "No one sings like you anymore" so it is visible as the metro rushes by.

"No one sings like you anymore" Why did you have to leave, Chris?

a reply to: ColoradoJens

I can promise you, I am not CIA.
Unless that stands for Calm. Intelligent. Admirable.

originally posted by: Timely
a reply to: ColoradoJens

I can promise you, I am not CIA.
Unless that stands for Calm. Intelligent. Admirable.

I know that you are not CIA.

We have a big database and supercomputers here at the headquarters. You are not listed as an employee.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Hey Fin, you are the only person holding yourself to anything.

I believe you have a good heart. If that is the case, then send a text. Have no expectations. Make repeated efforts.

You are introspective and appreciative of others. Those are traits of good people.

And you and Gordi were discussing the ants going to work.

I know EXACTLY how you feel and I would imagine everyone on this board does. The daily grind is maddening.

I think I have split personality from it myself. Just know as each day passes and you are able to feel more secure eventually you won't even know it. Also its a lot easier on the body.

originally posted by: ColoradoJens
a reply to: Finspiracy

Hey Fin, you are the only person holding yourself to anything.

I believe you have a good heart. If that is the case, then send a text. Have no expectations. Make repeated efforts.

You are introspective and appreciative of others. Those are traits of good people.

Yes. I have a good heart. So what? My heart will not speak anything. Nor will my thoughts. Even my words will not speak. It is my actions that define me.

Of course i appreciate all others. It might seem easy, his or her life. But it is the hardest life he or she has. I am not the one who adds weight to anyone's burden.

And... a couple months ago i went out of my character and smashed my phone. I was sick and tired of the whole thing, the phone calls and the texts. And i made a projectile out of it. It left my hand fast and stopped into my apartment wall. And now the phone no longer exists.

I just love my gentlemen in the Shed!

Very sore and getting tired. I'll catch up with you all tomorrow. HUGS!

a reply to: Night Star

Thanks for your kind words and yes, happy Mothers day to all moms! Mine is amazing and I am a lucky person to have her.

She is one of the most interesting and loving people I have ever met.

I am moving on to greener pastures after 8 years at my place of work. I was laid off a couple months back thus my increased presence here. The last 7 years I pop in for a week on ATS then roll out for the rest of the year.

I always check the threads but can't imagine having time as I have. Maybe, as who knows how this will worK?

I still have a couple weeks before I get rolling so Im sure I'll see you before then.

Like tomorrow

originally posted by: ColoradoJens
a reply to: Night Star

Thanks for your kind words and yes, happy Mothers day to all moms! Mine is amazing and I am a lucky person to have her.

She is one of the most interesting and loving people I have ever met.

I can imagine that. Easily. She has obviously given you good values. I am a loser but you are not holding that against me. That means a lot and that makes my pain smaller.

You are Shed material. Caring and polite. You will fit right in, post as much as you like, we enjoy your posts.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Yes. I have a good heart. So what? My heart will not speak anything. Nor will my thoughts. Even my words will not speak. It is my actions that define me.

Of course i appreciate all others. It might seem easy, his or her life. But it is the hardest life he or she has. I am not the one who adds weight to anyone's burden.

These are your words. Define yourself by your actions. Reach out. You may not have a chance for much longer. Who knows?

May I offer a tip? Reject at your will and I am not being facetious.

Have you ever tried affirmations? Just positive reinforcement stuff? It will not put $ in your pocket now but will change your outlook.

I have two kids. Ive been out of work for the first time in a long time.

My 401k got decimated. I have no real savings. My kids are about to go to college. What ever that means.

I am posting on ATS and making music videos of me and my bro as Rome burns. Don't listen to me.

But life is only what we make it. Hair is being lost as we speak but tomorrow will be good if we decide that it will be.

originally posted by: Finspiracy
And... a couple months ago i went out of my character and smashed my phone. I was sick and tired of the whole thing, the phone calls and the texts. And i made a projectile out of it. It left my hand fast and stopped into my apartment wall. And now the phone no longer exists.

It is very in-character for me to destroy cell phones. I can't even remember how many I've destroyed during drunken tantrums - even sober tantrums! - over the years. Actually, despite the expense, there is something oddly satisfying about destroying cell phones. #, if i were even slightly upset, I believe I'd smash my cell phone right now.

originally posted by: Night Star

...I have babysat a lot in my youth and I was everyone's favorite Auntie.

Did ye SQUASH 'em???

Ugh my story is giving me a hard time. For crying out loud, the theme is 'demons'...which is all I've got! If anyone could write a story about demons it should be me. Blah.