How Can We Have Civil Conversations With The Other Side?

www.npr.org...

About Celeste Headlee's TED Talk

Public radio host Celeste Headlee has lots of experience with difficult conversations. She has learned that sometimes the most persuasive tool is to reserve judgement and just listen.

About Celeste Headlee

Celeste Headlee hosts the daily news show On Second Thought from Georgia Public Broadcasting. She has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, correspondent and host. She has spent more than a decade working with NPR and has been a host for Public Radio International since 2008. Headlee has also appeared on CNN, the BBC, PBS, and MSNBC.

Just heard this TED radio hour about how "listening" to what your political opostion has to say is a more effective tool at causing positives change than is demanding it from others.

In my opinion a lot of people in this country need to take this advice, especially our political leaders; I think they might be amazed at what they might learn.

Sorry, I wish their was a transcript.

a reply to: DanDanDat

That's kinda the problem, there is little constructive dialogue anymore.

People claim to "listen," but they're just waiting to interject their own (political) opinions when they keep hearing things they don't like or agree with, or say how the other side is wrong, without even *seriously* considering the opposing argument.

That goes for everyone, and little gets accomplished and why there is so little compromise. People like their echo chamber.

It's sad, because without constructive dialogue there can be little compromise or solution, in anything.

a reply to: DanDanDat

It's impossible have any conversations with the other side. The other side thinks their own opinions are facts. And other people's opinions are lies. Heck, they don't even respect the vote! This is not going to end well.

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: DanDanDat

It's impossible have any conversations with the other side. The other side thinks their own opinions are facts. And other people's opinions are lies. Heck, they don't even respect the vote! This is not going to end well.

Quoted for God-level irony.

S&f for the OP though...

I once heard someone say it is important to examine how one arrives at their conclusion before judging the content.
We also need to set aside, at least for a moment, our generalization blanket for these conversations.

The thing with listening though, is it is so ego-less, and therefore not as satisfying to our hyped up media/social network fed Amygdala stimulation. This is like a drug at times, stopping us short of continuity in thought.
It seems futile at times but there are always those conversations or listening sessions that get through and bring additional awareness into our thinking, and I applaud that value, so kudos for sharing the information


ETA: There is a Transcript button on left column of your source.

a reply to: DanDanDat

Meh.

Rather than listening to try to convert why don't we find consensus on things ie; infrastructure, improving healthcare, even immigration.

Neither side wants to give the other half a loaf. That makes the other side awfully hungry and want the whole loaf.

a reply to: pavil

Rather than listening to try to convert why don't we find consensus on things ie; infrastructure, improving healthcare, even immigration.

I *think* that is the point of the OP. It's not about "conversion," it's about a legitimate *conversation* to address and solve the issues at hand, issues of which you speak.

Neither side wants to give the other half a loaf.

That is the problem, alas.

a reply to: DanDanDat

Simple.

Have them with principled opponents who operate in good faith. There are plenty out there.

Its much, much easier and appealing to focus all our time and effort on the folks that are explicitly opposite to "principled," because they offend our sensibilities and technology offers them institutionalized echo chambers.

Then, we start to make the mistake that because all our conversations go the same way, that it says everything about "them" and nothing about "us."

Basically, we can stop spending so much time and effort attempting discussion with religious zealots. Its hard as hell ( ) though, it truly is.

All people need to do is grow a thicker skin. We need to quit outraging our own sentiments and passions and practice a little tolerance.

originally posted by: BuckyWunderlick
All people need to do is grow a thicker skin. We need to quit outraging our own sentiments and passions and practice a little tolerance.

Very true, LesMis. Unfortunately, people tend to *want to be* right.

So it's hard for people in practice and humility.

originally posted by: Liquesence

originally posted by: BuckyWunderlick
All people need to do is grow a thicker skin. We need to quit outraging our own sentiments and passions and practice a little tolerance.

Very true, LesMis. Unfortunately, people tend to *want to be* right.

So it's hard for people in practice and humility.

You either are or you ain’t.

originally posted by: BuckyWunderlick

originally posted by: Liquesence

originally posted by: BuckyWunderlick
All people need to do is grow a thicker skin. We need to quit outraging our own sentiments and passions and practice a little tolerance.

Very true, LesMis. Unfortunately, people tend to *want to be* right.

So it's hard for people in practice and humility.

You either are or you ain’t.

Point of agreement being growing a thicker skin and stop outraging.

As far as being right, LesMis, time will tell.

I'm old enough to remember a time when 'agreeing to disagree' was a distinct American value... I also remember when 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me' was a staple on the American playground.

Today, both are heresy.

It's gonna take some significant time to get back to those values. Until then, good luck. It's only going to get worse, imo.

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: DanDanDat

It's impossible have any conversations with the other side. The other side thinks their own opinions are facts. And other people's opinions are lies. Heck, they don't even respect the vote! This is not going to end well.

Quoted for God-level irony.

S&f for the OP though...

I'm sorry were you trying to attack me or say something meaningful? What values are you suggesting we have? Are you suggested we respect other people's opinions? Because I have never seen you do it.

a reply to: loam

True, that has kind of gone out of the door in lieu of shouting down the disagreeable or unfavorable.

How do we re-attain those values?

originally posted by: Liquesence
a reply to: loam

True, that has kind of gone out of the door in lieu of shouting down the disagreeable or unfavorable.

How do we re-attain those values?

Everyone knows the biggest bully in the room is the one who wins the Republican nomination.

Soft new age pussy tactics are not respected.

originally posted by: loam
I'm old enough to remember a time when 'agreeing to disagree' was a distinct American value... I also remember when 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me' was a staple on the American playground.

Today, both are heresy.

It's gonna take some significant time to get back to those values. Until then, good luck. It's only going to get worse, imo.

I"m old enough to remember a time when the Big Oil executives were brought before Congress and grilled about why and how badly they are gouging the American people. Boy, times sure have changed!!!

a reply to: dfnj2015


That is not constructive dialogue.

originally posted by: loam
I'm old enough to remember a time when 'agreeing to disagree' was a distinct American value... I also remember when 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me' was a staple on the American playground.

Today, both are heresy.

It's gonna take some significant time to get back to those values. Until then, good luck. It's only going to get worse, imo.

It will get better. Mass communication is spreading throughout the globe at a rapid pace. What we’re seeing are the growing pains of being exposed to other opinions. Soon they’ll realize how to deal with it.

a reply to: BuckyWunderlick

Soon they’ll realize how to deal with it.

Who is "they?"