Finding my Fathers Blood relatives.. Do I reach out

Thanks everyone for the responses. I am 99% sure I have the right people. I don't see that my father's brother has a FB but his three children do and they are the same age as myself and my two brothers.

Should I reach out to one of them first? Or go straight to my dad's brother? One of my cousins is a female do you think that could help my chances of being heard?

a reply to: PraetorianAZ

There are a lot of people on facebook that have the same name. I would go to the Uncle.

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: TinySickTears

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: TinySickTears

originally posted by: schuyler
but don't try making choices for people you don't even know.

well the dude asked what we think thats what i think

'

You asked why anyone would do that and I told you. That's what I think.

i asked no such thing

you felt the need to unload it i guess

You trying to change history now? This is what you said. And the fact you want fewer people in your life is your issue, not OPs. Nobody asked you.

i do not understand why people think about reaching out and possibly striking up a relationship with total strangers cause they share a little bit of the ole DNA



but i want fewer people in my life not more

not changing anything
i know what i said
i still dont see a question

me saying i do not understand does not equal me asking anyone to vomit out reasons.

so again, i asked no such thing

originally posted by: PraetorianAZ

My father has gotten over this and it no longer bothers him with the large and healthy family he has today.

My father said it would be really cool to speak with them but he doesn't want to initiate the conversation out of fear of rejection. He is afraid that they will think he wants money or something. He is also afraid that they might not know about him and won't care.

This is cognitive dissonance on your fathers part and shows that it does matter to him (quite deeply actually) from the quotes above.

Be very careful what you are doing here. I believe it will most likely open pandora's box and cause unnecessary grief.

If you are going to move forward and absolutely can't help yourself from getting in touch with them. Make sure to have a set of low expectations and maybe even have a set of worst case scenarios worked out with your father beforehand to make sure it does not do any damage.

Just my opinion coming from an abusive background, be very careful not to put yourself in any firing line as you could get shot down in flames (metaphorically speaking). The road to hell is paved with good intentions and all that...

Good luck whatever happens

originally posted by: PraetorianAZ
Thanks everyone for the responses. I am 99% sure I have the right people. I don't see that my father's brother has a FB but his three children do and they are the same age as myself and my two brothers.

Should I reach out to one of them first? Or go straight to my dad's brother? One of my cousins is a female do you think that could help my chances of being heard?

Yes i would contact the female first , you know how hard headed us males are to break the ice with , when my mother first contacted her real father years ago he shut the door in her face and she left it at that , But my sister got her a 23 and me test a couple of years ago long after her dad died and she now speaks and keeps in touch with half sisters who never knew about her till then .

That test threw up a few surprises for her