Helpless!!...Horrible Story...Nightmare in real life!!

First, full disclosure; I've told this story here once before, but I think I got too far into the weeds and bored most everyone to death (or sleep) before I got to the nitty gritty. This story still seriously haunts me to this day, even though it happened nearly 20 years ago. I'll cut to the chase faster this time.

Myself and two friends were driving on a highway carved out of the side of a mountain in SE Asia one Sunday night. It was late, and we had a long way to go. The highway was divided, and the other direction was about a half a mile away and a thousand feet or so above us. To my left was a sheer rock wall down into the darkness below. We were the only vehicle on the road as far as I could see, and I was speeding.

All of a sudden I noticed some headlights behind me, and it looked like they were catching up to me. Fearing it might be the "JPJ" (the equivalent of the State Police crossed with the National Guard), I slowed down. The lights were still well over a mile behind me and closing. I didn't want to take any chances (these guys could be really dangerous, especially at night). My good friend was asleep in the front seat of my Land Rover, and his girlfriend was half asleep in the back. I didn't say anything, but I was keeping a close eye on the lights in my rear view mirror. Whoever it was was haulin' ass because they were catching up to us quick. I was actually a little bit spooked about this, it was not a good place at all to be messing around with potential bandits or crooked cops (with machine guns)!

All of a sudden I saw the lights behind me swerve to the right, then the left, then the right again and finally sharply to the left...and then disappear.

"HOLY S#!!...they just went off the road!!"...I blurted out, waking up my buddy and his girlfriend. Now wide awake, I slammed on the brakes andI explained what i'd seen to my buddy. By this time I'd stopped in the middle of the highway. He said I'd just been seeing things and just to carry on. But I was sure of what I'd seen. We talked about it for a couple minutes and he still didn't believe me, so I made him a deal. I would back up on the highway a half a mile or so, and if we didn't see any skid marks we'd just continue on home. Again, there were absolutely no other cars on this stretch of highway that night.

So I started backing up on the highway. Right exactly about where I expected to see skid marks...a set of fresh black skid marks appear in the lights in front of us as I backed over them...and they followed exactly what I'd seen (first right, then left, then right again, and then hard left....right over a rocky cliff!!

We got out and looked over the edge. It was about 75-80 degrees vertical, there was no guardrail, and all you could see down below was darkness. We were busy talking about the situation, and my buddy still only half believe me at this point. He was trying to tell me the skid marks were just old and I was seeing things. Right about then I heard something and told them to be quiet and listen. It was a car radio, playing some Malaysian music, down below in the darkness. There was definitely a vehicle crashed down there, but we couldn't see it. We hollered down the side of the mountain asking if people were hurt, or okay (like that would be possible!). There was no answer, just this eery car radio playing in the darkness. By then we could start smelling the burnt rubber, brakes and oil and antifreeze from below. There was no way we could go down there, it would have been insane even in the daylight, but at night it was pure suicide. We were helpless to do anything to help these people!!

For ten minutes or so we stood there trying to figure out what to do. We had cell phones, but they were all out of range. Even if they hadn't been, there was no nationwide 9-1-1 like service in the country, so who would we even call? And then the most haunting thing I could imagine happened...

My buddy's girlfriend started to speak in a very soft voice. She was crying. She said she was sorry, but she was "Bumiputra" (meaning she was a Malaysian national, not Thai as she had originally told my buddy when they met). This meant BIG trouble if we were to get caught by the religious police (or any national police for that matter) with her alone, unchaperoned, at night in the middle of northern Malaysia!!! She said that no matter what happened, if the police showed up the accident would automatically be blamed on myself and my buddy. Just because she was there.

Given the circumstances, and the likelihood there were probably fatal injuries in the vehicle down below, we didn't really have any choices. We had to go. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but there was no other choice. And so...we left.

That moment, that night, still haunts me to my very core to this day! We didn't cause it to happen, but we didn't help either...and that is against every principle of my very being. And then there's the never knowing what happened part. People died every day there, so it wasn't like some news story you'd see in the paper some day; there was just nothing...

...just the haunting memory of that car radio playing music in the dark, and the smell of burnt rubber and brakes, out of sight down below.

Q. What is the first principal of first aid.

A. Do only what is completely safe to do to help.

Would you jump into a river to save a drowning child. I hope we all would and yet I would not. I can't swim so ....

You did the right thing.

There was nothing you could have done anyway.

You yourself just described the Police in that country.

You did the right thing, sad as that is but, you need to take into account all of the risks involved.

P

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I remember this story very well.
And I can tell you I have been in the situation that makes you feel helpless. I still hold onto mine only 5 years later. I wake up screaming almost every night and can never dream of anything else.
I’m sorry you feel this pain to this day.
I don’t have any answer but if you ever come up with one please do tell.

You have to let the regret go. The fact that you made the effort to back up, shows that your intentions were in the right place. Once your buddy's girlfriend explained the scenario, as to what would happen if authorities were called, you made a decision based on the circumstances. Ask yourself this question...if you notified authorities and were later imprisoned for harboring a Malaysian national, as well causing that crash, you'd have even MORE regrets today, for not retreating. Your whole life could have changed dramatically if you reported that accident...be THANKFUL that you made the right call and LET IT GO.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

That's horrible. It's not like you could have gotten to them anyway. Also, taking off is better than being in prison.

Holy crap!!! That is a horrible memory to live with. ..... but .....as the other posters have said ,your better to have left the scene , then stayed and called it in. You did the right thing ... And from your description , I don’t believe anyone could have survived that fall anyway.. ... I think You should forgive your self and let it go .... maybe you should light a candle ,say a prayer, toast with tequila ,hold a vigil , do whatever your belief is that you do to honor the dead ,... and let it got .... you didn’t make them speed , you didn’t push them Over the cliff .....we as humans want to help (for the most part ) but you were unable , and that’s not your fault . ....Plus,You really don’t know all the facts, either ..... for all you know ,the person in the car could have been a child molester , a terrorist , or a serial killer who was coming for you !.....at the speed he was going , he may have run you off the road and pushed you over the cliff , ....maybe fate interviened ... ....either way , You are the only one who is allowing it to continue to haunt you .you are the only one who can allow yourself to let it go . Say your goodbye to them , and let it go .

You had no means to get to them, and even if you had, you had no way to get them up again. After a plunge like that, head and spinal cord injuries were almost certain. You can't tie a rope someone like that and haul away.

As you explained, the political realities of the situation would have made you guilty for trying to help, so your situation would have gotten worse for trying to make theirs better.

It was a no win situation for anyone involved, and that's the plain truth. I don't see how you could have done anything else other become some kind of anonymous tipster as soon as you got your cell service back.

In retrospect, yes, I do feel like we made the correct decision that night.

I guess the part which sticks with me is the not knowing part. There was just no closure of any kind, good or bad, just a complete vacuum of information.

There was one detail I left out of the story (just to keep it a bit shorter); the weekend this happened was a national holiday known as Hari Raya marking the end of the fast, or Ramadan. This is a holiday akin to a religious Thanksgiving crossed with Christmas where the tradition has hundreds of thousands venture out from the cities to the rural 'Kampongs' (remote jungle villages) to visit relatives and celebrate old customs with their extended families. Hari-Raya was notorious for fatal traffic accidents (for a variety of reasons). The holiday actually ended on Monday, which is why we were traveling on Sunday night, before millions hit the road to migrate back home.

The music which was playing on the car radio down below was Hari Raya music, so I couldn't help but think it might be some family trying to get home before the crowds just like we were trying to do. To draw an analogy, it was like standing there listening to Christmas caroling music amid this tragic scene.

That was the part which really sank in and rattles around my head periodically since then. That, and just not knowing.

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

"Only the vine sustained him." (Theravada)

In the Vinaya no monk should be out traveling at night... think of where you were. Two vehicles on the road of a well traveled path.

no need to be haunted but that first link in chain of causation like the yin and yang in the middle of the bhava cakra is always shown as stopped in the same place.

who could claim ignorance... all you are doing is claiming a vehicle two people were in as yours... however you only taste bitter even after 20 years

a reply to: BEBOG

WOW...that's intense!!!

Interesting!!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

You could have called the police or emergency services when you got home and reported it and then you would have known what the outcome was.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

I'm afraid you don't understand how police / law enforcement works in Malaysia, at least back then. There wasn't like this national network of police, they were all regional by towns, not even by state. Often times they wouldn't even show up to road accidents, regardless of how serious. For the most part they were just these loose roving bands of 'entrepreneurs' who would set up roadblocks to extort money from random drivers (especially foreigners) for no reason other than they needed to pay their bills. In the larger cities they were more organized and would sometimes carry out police type actions, but out in the rural areas they were just cowboys who made up their own rules. Bottom line, there was no one you could call who would have had information like that. And if you did call one of them it would only raise suspicion that you (a foreigner) were somehow the cause, or minimally involved, in an incident which provided them an opportunity for notoriety at your expense. A very risky proposition.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

If the law was so bad why did you slow down when you believed they were behind you? .... they were over a mile away behind you.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

Why give them an excuse to stop me? It's not like you would be able to outrun them...or their radios!!

They didn't have radar, and in all likelihood (if it would have been the JPJ) all they saw was tail lights and a potential opportunity. In retrospect, I don't think it was the JPJ actually, but I didn't know that when I first saw the lights. And, frankly, I don't know that to this day.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Ok.
If it were me I would have had to do my very best to obtain some telephone number to call just to report it.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

Well, next tiime it happens to me...I'll call you.

You seem a better man than me.

You seem to know things I didn't know after living in the country for nearly three years.

So, good on ya!

And, I'm going to presume you are intimately familiar with SE Asian customs, laws and religious practices, right? You've been there...right? You've lived there, like really actually lived there...right????? So, you know better than I do...right???

ETA - Next!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Whoops...sorry.....it seems that I have upset you.
Sorry.