Holiday work parties.

So why is it when you don't want to attend you're an outcast or non social? Why can't it be I just don't want to sit and listen to certain people yammer on more than they already do only with alcohol this time? I mean it's pure torture to being with.

We have our office party next week and well I don't want to go for various reasons, the big one is it's a school night and i have a 5 year old! Yet it seems like when you don't attend you're talked about and labeled. I am not a fan of Christmas to being with so I really don't want to have to fake anything just because it's a holiday.

Anyone else avoid work holiday parties like it's the plague?

a reply to: mblahnikluver

Every new job I'll show up to the first one, as the boss is expecting it.
After I've proven my position and have become difficult to replace, I start openly avoiding them. I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to pay bills.

originally posted by: a325nt
a reply to: mblahnikluver

Every new job I'll show up to the first one, as the boss is expecting it.
After I've proven my position and have become difficult to replace, I start openly avoiding them. I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to pay bills.

See I attended a work get together once and it felt like i was back in HS! We only have about 23 employees but it's very cliquey like HS was. There are a couple girls here who are in their damn 40s who act like Mean Girls, yes just like the movie. They are terrible to new people especially other women. When I started they were so mean and used sarcasm as a shield to excuse their behavior. I however put a stop to it right away. I will not be bullied or walked on by grown adults. They have run off a few new people and they joke and say they weren't worth it and that's why they were mean to them. It's sad because the owner laughs it off and it's like your biggest problems with new people especially women are those two vapid females who are just down right nasty. If you aren't in their group you aren't cool to them. It's so silly. I am not here to make friends or be anyone's BFF. I'm here to work and that is it. I socialize if I have to but outside functions yea I will pass on them. They all go and get their nails done and go out and I'm like yea no thanks. I can find much less shallow things to do with my time. I'm the odd one because of my interests and beliefs. I have had to walk away biting my tongue when they all start talking politics. It's cringe worthy as they quote Fox and CNN as legit sources. I'm definitely the black sheep at work lol which I'm ok with. I like my own little bubble just don't cross it!

a reply to: mblahnikluver

I'm not going to mine for the first time in my 11 years at this job. It feels kind of freeing in a way. I don't know, I hate those things too, all the stupid talk from the same people talking the same crap I hear every year and just waiting for the boss to tell us we can leave.... and there's no alcohol at mine!

I enjoy the people I work with, so I'll be attending the company Christmas party.

My problem is I enjoy them too much, I cant even remember the number of office parties I went to and cant remember, its lots.

Free booze is my Achilles heel, Im not a big drinker so when I do drink it normally hits me hard but also takes awhile to kick in so by the time I realise Im drunk theres usually a good 2-4 drinks worth of booze still in my system yet to hit me.

I say make an appearance but dont stay for more than a drink or 2, just say your babysitter can only do an hour or something if you cant exit quietly amid the revelry

originally posted by: wtbengineer
a reply to: mblahnikluver

I'm not going to mine for the first time in my 11 years at this job. It feels kind of freeing in a way. I don't know, I hate those things too, all the stupid talk from the same people talking the same crap I hear every year and just waiting for the boss to tell us we can leave.... and there's no alcohol at mine!

No alcohol! I would prefer that, it might make it tolerable. The owner already rambles on like a fool and says all kinds of inappropriate stuff as it is, add alcohol and I'll pass.

I don't like or dislike the people i work with I just prefer not to socialize because honestly we have nothing to talk about. The owner is always going on about guns and hunting. I don't care for either nor do I want to hear his analogies where everything is related to those two things....oh that and fishing.

I will spend the night at home with my son. It's the last night before he has off for winter break and he goes to his dads for two weeks. We will have hot chocolate and watch those newly offensive Christmas movies lol

If the people I worked with weren't so catty and fake I probably wouldn't mind going but they are that way and so I will pass. I will say there is one girl I work with who is wonderful and we do talk outside of work. She isn't like everyone else which is why we get along.

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

When I worked in the bars lol I LOVED the Christmas parties! They were sooooo much fun. Free alcohol and food and money! Everyone was happy and got along. It is so funny to me how the most honest and decent people I have ever worked with I worked with in a strip club of all places. The people there are real and don't pretend to be anything they are not. If someone didn't care for you, you knew it and you just avoided one another and if you had to interact there wasn't this catty behavior you just did it because it was part of the job. Funny how that place had better morals than the companies I have worked for since I left.

Duplicate post

originally posted by: mblahnikluver
a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

When I worked in the bars lol I LOVED the Christmas parties! They were sooooo much fun. Free alcohol and food and money! Everyone was happy and got along. It is so funny to me how the most honest and decent people I have ever worked with I worked with in a strip club of all places. The people there are real and don't pretend to be anything they are not. If someone didn't care for you, you knew it and you just avoided one another and if you had to interact there wasn't this catty behavior you just did it because it was part of the job. Funny how that place had better morals than the companies I have worked for since I left.

I wonder if it was the people and industry or just our ages?
I find I enjoy them less as I get older, but anyway enough depressing stuff.

You worked in a strip club you say?

I'm writing this from a very nice resort in Lake Tahoe where my company is having a Christmas party.

Part of this is a company-wide meeting for our next gen devices.

We have 25 employees. Most are decent people. Engineers, doctors, scientists. But I'd still rather be at home with my wife and kids.

This is a mandatory thing, so I'm getting paid to be here. But still. I'm certainly not complaining, however. I've never been treated so well as an employee, just not used to it.

We don't really have the amount of people you would need for the kind of office politics described. But one of our sister companies is that big, they will be joining us here at the resort, and they have a serious gossip-mill thing going on. Its a wonder they get any work done at all.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

The Christmas party isn't your problem.
It's the toxic work environment.

No alcohol! I would prefer that, it might make it tolerable.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

It might cause a lot more intolerable rambling, but it would be easier for me to listen to it. Although then everyone would probably tend to stay longer and that would suck.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

I hear ya! I don't like them either. They're like work on drugs. And now they make all these politically correct rules, it's almost painful. Even the food has become PC! Then there's all the brown noser's with their fake laughter and an agenda. I am, perhaps obviously, not a social gathering type of guy at all anyway.

I haven't been to a holiday party in decades.

There is only one thing I miss though, and that's people getting just stoopid. I never (ever) drink at occasions like these, so it's pretty amusing to watch others get loose and start doing / saying crazy stuff...significant other's are notorious for this behavior for some reason. However, I don't miss it enough to even register on the desire-o-meter of wanting to attend! Though some of the after-stories do make me wish I'd witnessed certain events! LOL!

Anyway, I totally agree with your OP. Holiday parties are just about everything BUT "fun"!

It always amazes me how, to some, these holiday parties are such a big deal! And how people try so hard to one-up each other. GACK!

You know what.... don't go. Who cares what anyone thinks! These people are your co-workers, not your friends or your family.

The entire holiday season puts so much unnecessary stress and unrealistic expectations on people!
You're supposed to attend all kinds of parties and be cheerful, eat drink and be merry, be joyous and charitable and giving, feel warmth and have some big epiphany! Problem is, these things are just simply "on demand"!

It's OK to say no. It's OK to not participate in holiday activities.

Just do you and move on.

a reply to: Skorpiogurl

My response is simple!

I just tell people I'm the "Grinch who says Bah Humbug!"

That pretty much covers all the bases.

I don't like them, but I think it is more so I don't like the people I work with and the fakeness.

When I managed restaurants, I loved our holiday parties. Cheap booze, free transportation. You just hung out with whoever you wanted.

Now it is like you have to bake something, then buy a meaningless present for the grab bag, then talk about how lucky everyone is. Not my style. I hate baking, the present means nothing and is a waste of money and the whole feel is just absolutely fake.

I said four different times this year that I did not want to participate in our optional office grab bag. Then my boss came in an offered to front me the $20 if it was because of money issues. I have the darn $20, I just don't want to play.

I've always went to ours. We have over 50 employees over a couple of cities, and a couple from a different state. I work for a faith based IT company, so we've never had alcohol at ours, and they encourage to bring your children. They have the inflatable bouncy things, and basketball for the kids. The company provides the meat, and everything else is potluck. When I started, there was about 15ish of us, so we've grown, and it's good to see some of the guys that work out of a different city or state. Bonuses are given out, Employee of the year, Milestones for how many years you've worked there (you get a bonus for that too), door prizes (TV's, Security Cameras, Roombas), and every child gets a candy cane with 10 bucks wrapped around it. It's just an overall good time. Plus, they read the Christmas story from the Bible, and sing a couple of Christmas songs.


We have a few that don't show up. It's usually the same ones every year. I get what you are saying about the "clicks". We have that at ours too, but it don't sound like it's as extreme as yours.

Hey, you do you. Shame on anyone for chastizing you about not going! If my children were not allowed to go, that would probably keep me from going.

I've got a hell of a cold going on, and my patience for excuses & sugar coating no longer exist, so this is going to be pretty blunt.

I'm an introvert, I don't do parties as a general rule because as any introvert on here knows, it's torment for us. You better have a DAMN good reason for me to be convinced to go to a holiday party (work or otherwise) before I ever show up at one. I've always told people this, and have never had any blowback. A few odd looks, if that's blowback, but generally, people get the hint when you're up front, straightforward and firm about your reasons.

So that leads to my blunt question -- what the hell has happened to people to make them such wusses that cannot just say no thanks, with a brief explanation if necessary, and be done with it? Do people have no backbone anymore?

When I worked down the docks we used to have big gatherings all the time, Christmas, Halloween, heck, even Easter was a good enough excuse for a good knees-up.

The thing is, though, that we were all best mates, like a family even, from folk in the offices upstairs to linesmen such as myself.

Resteraunts, bars, pubs, nightclubs, even the office wasn't off limits at times.

There were a few tears when that firm went under, I miss that place, and those people.