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Education from here to there...
page: 2share:
originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: operation mindcrime
Don't sweat it man.
I only got me an eighth grade education.
That's the one that looks like a little snowman right? 8?
You are not going to convince me that's true. I've read enough of your replies to know you, at the very least, have a PhD in life.
Peace
a reply to: operation mindcrime
I am thoroughly loving the positive and sharing elements of life, and would love nothing more than to keep opening up positive channels of thought and action. Wishing peace on others, which I am thankful for your offerings of peace, is and does have actions of consequence. Sincerely, just the simple act of being thankful within the present gift of time simplifies life through a funnel of which all elements of environments must pass through... getting absorbed with aspects of life that hinder what is essentially ascension and expansion of consciousness starts to fade away in the trails left behind. Even small talks across a digital interface find the ones that resonate in such ways... anyone reading this thread is every bit a part of the good vibes winning out... opening up the adventures of learning to channels never imagined before.
Now, life carries a tidal structure as all life is formed by way of frequency. Aspects of life will surely become negative and even hard in many ways. Carrying the gifts of thankfulness allows us to learn to experience those times with a growing empathy. I can assure us all that empathy within is by far the clearest and easiest of channels to learn through. This reflection when down alone has taught me to not treat others as I wish to be treated, but to treat others as I would like others to treat a child of innocence.
It doesn't stop with a greater sense of empathy though... the thankful start to take on the world's challenges and problems as if they them-cellves are responsible for.
We will witness the human aspects of thankfulness slowly build and grow together... taking on challenges that seem tall or impossible feats in current times.
So yeah, I would like to see this site offer more wellness topics of thought. There are some great minds on this site, as the OP indicated truly. Adding simple steps in life, such as float therapy and cleaner dieting standards can be life changing in so many ways. That is the community that I would prefer my energy spent... and it is exactly where my energy will be spent. I learned a bit about myself through this thread even, and I thank all that share in this gift of time for that dearly. If the channels of positivity remain open I will push energy into the discussions...
I am thoroughly loving the positive and sharing elements of life, and would love nothing more than to keep opening up positive channels of thought and action. Wishing peace on others, which I am thankful for your offerings of peace, is and does have actions of consequence. Sincerely, just the simple act of being thankful within the present gift of time simplifies life through a funnel of which all elements of environments must pass through... getting absorbed with aspects of life that hinder what is essentially ascension and expansion of consciousness starts to fade away in the trails left behind. Even small talks across a digital interface find the ones that resonate in such ways... anyone reading this thread is every bit a part of the good vibes winning out... opening up the adventures of learning to channels never imagined before.
Now, life carries a tidal structure as all life is formed by way of frequency. Aspects of life will surely become negative and even hard in many ways. Carrying the gifts of thankfulness allows us to learn to experience those times with a growing empathy. I can assure us all that empathy within is by far the clearest and easiest of channels to learn through. This reflection when down alone has taught me to not treat others as I wish to be treated, but to treat others as I would like others to treat a child of innocence.
It doesn't stop with a greater sense of empathy though... the thankful start to take on the world's challenges and problems as if they them-cellves are responsible for.
We will witness the human aspects of thankfulness slowly build and grow together... taking on challenges that seem tall or impossible feats in current times.
So yeah, I would like to see this site offer more wellness topics of thought. There are some great minds on this site, as the OP indicated truly. Adding simple steps in life, such as float therapy and cleaner dieting standards can be life changing in so many ways. That is the community that I would prefer my energy spent... and it is exactly where my energy will be spent. I learned a bit about myself through this thread even, and I thank all that share in this gift of time for that dearly. If the channels of positivity remain open I will push energy into the discussions...
a reply to: ttobban
Wow, another great thought pattern. So kind of off topic (my apologies), you mentioned the digital platform as also being a resonance (vibration) tool. Do you think people can link up a portion of their spirit when sharing ideas, even through this digital medium? Sometimes I think I imagine it but most of the time when participating in good threads (good threads=participators being honest and sincere or speaking from the heart...no deception) I can feel a resonance building up and heightening through rereading the material. The biggest problem I have is trying to dissipate or disconnect from the energy stream simply to fall asleep at night.
Quick question. Why do you phrase it as 'them-cellves'?
Wow, another great thought pattern. So kind of off topic (my apologies), you mentioned the digital platform as also being a resonance (vibration) tool. Do you think people can link up a portion of their spirit when sharing ideas, even through this digital medium? Sometimes I think I imagine it but most of the time when participating in good threads (good threads=participators being honest and sincere or speaking from the heart...no deception) I can feel a resonance building up and heightening through rereading the material. The biggest problem I have is trying to dissipate or disconnect from the energy stream simply to fall asleep at night.
Quick question. Why do you phrase it as 'them-cellves'?
a reply to: ttobban
I read your reply about ten times now and because we seem to resonate on the same frequency I will try to reply as best as I can but I'm afraid it's going to be in the "too long, didn't read" category. I won't be disappointed if you don't read it and I have no idea why I'm writing it down. Maybe to get it out of my system or maybe I'm just addressing my future self so I can reflect on it when this is all done...
I come from a very wealthy background. I've literally had diner with kings and queens and I've seen the ugly side of this world up close and personal. People treating other people like slaves and people acting like slaves to please their master. I've always had great respect for how these people achieved their position in life but could never understand the mentality that goes along with it.
As a child I had my best friend Danny who was always jealous of the ferrari's, Porsche, swimming pools etc where I was jealous of him for having a father who came home every day at 17:00 and wrestled with us (my parents would occasionally be home on the weekend). Anyway, we were both fanatical about martial arts and 5 days a week we would be in the gym practicing Judo, Karate etc (hey, it was the 80's, bloodsport - Jean claude van Damme - Tong Po....Mylene good f*ck)
I had a big interest in the Japanese culture that came along with it of honor, respect and integrity and from age 6/7 I had a very clear picture of my moral rules. Honor your family, help others who are weaker, be fair, respect others property and never break a promise.
I guess most people start out this way but as life goes along some people have to flex or break these rules. I never did...In school I was always the alpha male (not by choice, I just always was) but resented the followers. I would always standup or hang around the outsiders because I had this inner urge to stand up for those weaker. As a result I usually had pretty okay classmates and every year and every school the principal would call me into his office at the beginning of the semester and ask me if I could set the right example because it would help my fellow students.
Anyway, I came pretty far with martial arts and even made it to the nationals in my weight class. My friend Danny and I were also big on everything army related (again it was the 80's/90's so tour of duty, commando, Arnold, Sylvester....you know) and we were both aiming for a career in the army.
Applied for the early recruitment option when I was 16 and of course it was going to be navy seals. Had all the psychological and physical tests and I was told that a position as officer was my best option. somewhere along the line a doctor concluded that my tendons were too long (yeah I'm flexible) and that would make my chosen career impossible.
So there I was...clueless about what else I wanted to do in life and so I returned to my education that I had already started but without any motivation. In this time period I also met my future wife and she was everything I ever wished for. Promised her I would always take care of her and never leave her side.
Finished my study, found a job and bought a house. 1 kid turned into 2..3..4 and before I knew it her picket fence dream was made reality. She was always pretty big on the material stuff and I was glad to provide. I found out I was a great dad and because of the commitment to be the dad my friend Danny had I was fulfilling my own desire at the same time.
(On a side note: you're probably saying to your self right now that the rich kid with the silver spoon up his ass is whining about his personal issues. Yeah it's wasn't exactly like that. My dad was the kind of guy that exploded into rage when you were offered an ice cream and you ordered yours with the sprinkles because that costed 25 cents extra and if you realized how hard he had to work for that. He had his own way of teaching you that lesson. Believe me, I had no free rides and the scars from his belt are still visible. Everything I gave her was from my own hard work but that's beside the point)
There always was something off with her affection for me. She made me feel like I was God to her and it always seemed if though she was addicted to my affection. (I should add that she was never the sharpest tool in the shed and had special education herself because of her problems with learning. It never matter much to me because she was good with animals and I figured that anybody that good with horses must be good on the inside). When we had the occasional argument and I would leave the house she would call in despair how she would kill herself if I didn't came back etc...
Fast forward 12 years and noting much changed. We were still together, we loved each other and I was having a blast raising the kids. Switched jobs a couple of times because of fundamental disagreements with former bosses but for the most part was pretty much focusing on my eldest son because he was struggling in school. After looking for answers we found out he was gifted but slightly autistic. he had a gap between his verbal and non-verbal IQ (128/112) which boiled down to him being able to do mathematical equations but unable to tie his shoe...
My wife had no idea how to handle the situation and was ready to send him to an institute so they could deal with the problem. Through my own approach I was able to connect with him and in coordination with school we actually achieved his admittance into a normal school.
Summer holiday 2013 and everything went to hell in a hand basket. We were at a birthday party of my best friend, took the kids along and after a fun day they crashed on the couch and we were enjoying the evening outside. After some time I noticed both my friend and wife missing for some time and decided to check it out....no surprise there...they were at it in the living room under the nooses of the children still sleeping on the couch.
Now I may be naive but I'm not dumb, I was her first boyfriend she was my first girlfriend and we had been together for 20 years. It would seem logical that at some point one of us would buckle under the pressure of curiosity and to stray is only human. So I remained calm, loaded the kids and wife in the car and drove home. The following days/weeks we talked and what came out was #stream of relationships that she had had with basically every friend I had and every boss she worked for since the day we met. She topped it off with the revelation that she never practiced save sex so at this point I wasn't even sure if the 4 kids that were calling me daddy were even my biological children.
She told me that she didn't know why she had done it and she believed that she might have some psychological problem. Well #...how can you blame somebody for something that they have no control over. So I promised her we would try and find her help and that we would get through it (this of course goes back to my core principal of helping those that are weaker).
Time went by and every time I found some counselor or therapist who was willing to help she found a way to not go there. She was convinced her problem had already vanished and believed that coming clean was what helped her...
Continued below....
I read your reply about ten times now and because we seem to resonate on the same frequency I will try to reply as best as I can but I'm afraid it's going to be in the "too long, didn't read" category. I won't be disappointed if you don't read it and I have no idea why I'm writing it down. Maybe to get it out of my system or maybe I'm just addressing my future self so I can reflect on it when this is all done...
I come from a very wealthy background. I've literally had diner with kings and queens and I've seen the ugly side of this world up close and personal. People treating other people like slaves and people acting like slaves to please their master. I've always had great respect for how these people achieved their position in life but could never understand the mentality that goes along with it.
As a child I had my best friend Danny who was always jealous of the ferrari's, Porsche, swimming pools etc where I was jealous of him for having a father who came home every day at 17:00 and wrestled with us (my parents would occasionally be home on the weekend). Anyway, we were both fanatical about martial arts and 5 days a week we would be in the gym practicing Judo, Karate etc (hey, it was the 80's, bloodsport - Jean claude van Damme - Tong Po....Mylene good f*ck)
I had a big interest in the Japanese culture that came along with it of honor, respect and integrity and from age 6/7 I had a very clear picture of my moral rules. Honor your family, help others who are weaker, be fair, respect others property and never break a promise.
I guess most people start out this way but as life goes along some people have to flex or break these rules. I never did...In school I was always the alpha male (not by choice, I just always was) but resented the followers. I would always standup or hang around the outsiders because I had this inner urge to stand up for those weaker. As a result I usually had pretty okay classmates and every year and every school the principal would call me into his office at the beginning of the semester and ask me if I could set the right example because it would help my fellow students.
Anyway, I came pretty far with martial arts and even made it to the nationals in my weight class. My friend Danny and I were also big on everything army related (again it was the 80's/90's so tour of duty, commando, Arnold, Sylvester....you know) and we were both aiming for a career in the army.
Applied for the early recruitment option when I was 16 and of course it was going to be navy seals. Had all the psychological and physical tests and I was told that a position as officer was my best option. somewhere along the line a doctor concluded that my tendons were too long (yeah I'm flexible) and that would make my chosen career impossible.
So there I was...clueless about what else I wanted to do in life and so I returned to my education that I had already started but without any motivation. In this time period I also met my future wife and she was everything I ever wished for. Promised her I would always take care of her and never leave her side.
Finished my study, found a job and bought a house. 1 kid turned into 2..3..4 and before I knew it her picket fence dream was made reality. She was always pretty big on the material stuff and I was glad to provide. I found out I was a great dad and because of the commitment to be the dad my friend Danny had I was fulfilling my own desire at the same time.
(On a side note: you're probably saying to your self right now that the rich kid with the silver spoon up his ass is whining about his personal issues. Yeah it's wasn't exactly like that. My dad was the kind of guy that exploded into rage when you were offered an ice cream and you ordered yours with the sprinkles because that costed 25 cents extra and if you realized how hard he had to work for that. He had his own way of teaching you that lesson. Believe me, I had no free rides and the scars from his belt are still visible. Everything I gave her was from my own hard work but that's beside the point)
There always was something off with her affection for me. She made me feel like I was God to her and it always seemed if though she was addicted to my affection. (I should add that she was never the sharpest tool in the shed and had special education herself because of her problems with learning. It never matter much to me because she was good with animals and I figured that anybody that good with horses must be good on the inside). When we had the occasional argument and I would leave the house she would call in despair how she would kill herself if I didn't came back etc...
Fast forward 12 years and noting much changed. We were still together, we loved each other and I was having a blast raising the kids. Switched jobs a couple of times because of fundamental disagreements with former bosses but for the most part was pretty much focusing on my eldest son because he was struggling in school. After looking for answers we found out he was gifted but slightly autistic. he had a gap between his verbal and non-verbal IQ (128/112) which boiled down to him being able to do mathematical equations but unable to tie his shoe...
My wife had no idea how to handle the situation and was ready to send him to an institute so they could deal with the problem. Through my own approach I was able to connect with him and in coordination with school we actually achieved his admittance into a normal school.
Summer holiday 2013 and everything went to hell in a hand basket. We were at a birthday party of my best friend, took the kids along and after a fun day they crashed on the couch and we were enjoying the evening outside. After some time I noticed both my friend and wife missing for some time and decided to check it out....no surprise there...they were at it in the living room under the nooses of the children still sleeping on the couch.
Now I may be naive but I'm not dumb, I was her first boyfriend she was my first girlfriend and we had been together for 20 years. It would seem logical that at some point one of us would buckle under the pressure of curiosity and to stray is only human. So I remained calm, loaded the kids and wife in the car and drove home. The following days/weeks we talked and what came out was #stream of relationships that she had had with basically every friend I had and every boss she worked for since the day we met. She topped it off with the revelation that she never practiced save sex so at this point I wasn't even sure if the 4 kids that were calling me daddy were even my biological children.
She told me that she didn't know why she had done it and she believed that she might have some psychological problem. Well #...how can you blame somebody for something that they have no control over. So I promised her we would try and find her help and that we would get through it (this of course goes back to my core principal of helping those that are weaker).
Time went by and every time I found some counselor or therapist who was willing to help she found a way to not go there. She was convinced her problem had already vanished and believed that coming clean was what helped her...
Continued below....
edit on 2018pAmerica/ChicagoSun, 19 Aug 2018 01:14:08 -0500am311420188 by operation mindcrime because: uuuughhhh...spelling. Sorry
guys!!!
a reply to: ttobban
2015...She discovered Tinder and told me it was just harmless fun and was enjoying the attention she got from it. The next week I was more like a brother to her and she had met a guy she just had to meet. Now I may be a patient guy but this was the straw that broke this camels back.
I told her that if she was going to go through with this our relationship would be over. She understood and the next day me and 4 kids drove her to the train station. "Where's mommy going dad?", "Mommy needs a little break. She staying with a friend this weekend so we'll have the house to ourselves for some fun"..
Side note: For those with knowledge in the field of psychology, borderline personality disorder would be a correct guess
The weekend went by and she returned with nothing but a bad experience and how she regretted her decision. She was really sorry and with help she was sure that we would get through this...Although it broke my heart to leave the kids, there I was with nothing but a bag of clothes and no place to sleep.
Are you still reading? Hang in there, the drama is just beginning...
In the years before my dad had finally fallen victim to his own greed and the pyramid scheme he and his buddies had organized had come crashing down and somebody owed somebody 126 million dollars. People went to jail, everybody got poor real quick or left for China and all of a sudden my parents became really nice, down-to-earth people. I guess it was a sobering experience and of course they wanted to help me by offering a place to sleep.
So there I was, a grown man, 37 years old, living with his parents and finding a way to keep seeing my kids.
At first my ex offered for me to stay at our house every weekend so I could see the kids and she would sleep (read: party) somewhere else. I really had no other choice if I wanted to see my kids and took up the offer.
It were the darkest days of my life and I still have to thank a certain member on ATS for giving me support through private messaging, whatsapp and even offering a place to stay with him in England....I love you man!!!
I was trying like crazy to find my own place near to my kids but housing association replied that the waiting list was at least 5 years. Desperation was tightening it's grip and insanity was looming. According to me I was the most miserable person in the world.
It was in these days that I had received a request to help out a single mother of two girls who had been abandoned by her alcoholic husband because he couldn't deal with the consequences of her breast cancer. She had a WII-console for her girls and it broke and she couldn't afford a new one. I went over to her house and tried to fix the problem (which didn't work and ended up with me looking for a used one on Ebay). The following week I went over to her to deliver the WII and she was sitting in her garden.
We started talking and she told me about all the things that had happened to her. When she was 26 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she had to deal with the eventuality that she would have to leave her two daughter to grow up without a mother, had all the lymph notes removed from her right arm which left her just short of disabled because she couldn't lift more than 4 pounds with that arm, a never ending stream of migraine attacks and gained 100 pounds because of the chemo therapy.
It was at that exact moment that I felt a sense of shame for having pitied myself so much. Here's somebody who has it even worse than you and she is doing okay, looking up instead of down, full of life and love. When I told her my story she said: "are you going to fix your problems today? You can't go back and change it and maybe tomorrow things will be different so why not enjoy right now?"
She really put things into perspective. So after having stayed with my parents for 3 months I moved in with her and we would look for a home near my kids from there. from the get-go her two girl are in love with me. Of course they also filled my desire to raise kids and help them grow and they have a special place in my heart.
Side note: Her eldest daughter (12 years old) skipped fathers day this year which kind of disappointed me but on Monday morning she stood by my bed and told me:" Any man can be a father but today we're celebrating Dad-day, happy Dad-day"
But of course my ex was still in the picture. Since I left the house her actions became more erratic. I would get phone calls in the middle of the night about how she was cutting herself and loosing her grip on reality. I can't count how often I had to leave work because she called and threatened to hurt the kids if I didn't come and take them away from her. But when I got there she said everything was fine. and this process repeated over and over..
We agreed that the children would be with me every other weekend and I pick them up and bring them back. On bringing my kids back my old neighbor approached me and asked me if she could talk to me about the situation next door. So I came in and she started telling me about all the shouting, fighting, drunken boyfriends, windows breaking and how she was really concerned about it all. I guess my ex must have seen me enter the neighbors house because before we knew it she was banging and kicking on the front door. My neighbor of course opened the front door and my ex comes flying in kicking, screaming and literally tearing the place apart, blood everywhere and 4 kids standing outside looking in and crying.
I've had phone calls from my kids in fear because mom is throwing stuff again and breaking everything. The weird thing is usually the next day everything is back to normal and when I confront my ex with her behavior she denies it and tells me everything is under control now..
My youngest son (then 6 years old) )suffered the most damage from his mother and got beat up a couple of times. So one day she calls me up to tell me that he is probably insane and needs a psychiatrist but since there are no Dutch speaking psychiatrists in Germany and her health insurance doesn't cover healthcare abroad I should take him because she doesn't want him any more. Needless to say I picked him up immediately and he now lives with us. Of course I coordinated this with his former school and they were glad he was going to be living with me for his safety. They didn't understand why his mother would say that he has mental problems and his new school confirms that it is a perfectly normal boy. He now lives with us 1,5 years, loves his new "sisters" and he never wants to see his mother again..
So now I still have 3 kids living with their mother and my oldest son, the one I told you about earlier, out of 200 school days...he skipped 50. Reason: "I was gaming till 04:00 in the morning and I didn't feel like going", at least that's what he tells me and his teachers when we organize a meeting because mother is unreachable..
Normally you'd think that a phone call to some social service or even the police could sort things out. Well I used to live just across the border in Germany and now I live in Holland and that is complicating things a whole lot. She still lives in our old house and the kids go to school in Holland. She hasn't integrated in German society and doesn't speak a word German, neither do the kids, but refuses to go back to Holland because child support in Germany is insanely higher than it is here.
Continued below...
2015...She discovered Tinder and told me it was just harmless fun and was enjoying the attention she got from it. The next week I was more like a brother to her and she had met a guy she just had to meet. Now I may be a patient guy but this was the straw that broke this camels back.
I told her that if she was going to go through with this our relationship would be over. She understood and the next day me and 4 kids drove her to the train station. "Where's mommy going dad?", "Mommy needs a little break. She staying with a friend this weekend so we'll have the house to ourselves for some fun"..
Side note: For those with knowledge in the field of psychology, borderline personality disorder would be a correct guess
The weekend went by and she returned with nothing but a bad experience and how she regretted her decision. She was really sorry and with help she was sure that we would get through this...Although it broke my heart to leave the kids, there I was with nothing but a bag of clothes and no place to sleep.
Are you still reading? Hang in there, the drama is just beginning...
In the years before my dad had finally fallen victim to his own greed and the pyramid scheme he and his buddies had organized had come crashing down and somebody owed somebody 126 million dollars. People went to jail, everybody got poor real quick or left for China and all of a sudden my parents became really nice, down-to-earth people. I guess it was a sobering experience and of course they wanted to help me by offering a place to sleep.
So there I was, a grown man, 37 years old, living with his parents and finding a way to keep seeing my kids.
At first my ex offered for me to stay at our house every weekend so I could see the kids and she would sleep (read: party) somewhere else. I really had no other choice if I wanted to see my kids and took up the offer.
It were the darkest days of my life and I still have to thank a certain member on ATS for giving me support through private messaging, whatsapp and even offering a place to stay with him in England....I love you man!!!
I was trying like crazy to find my own place near to my kids but housing association replied that the waiting list was at least 5 years. Desperation was tightening it's grip and insanity was looming. According to me I was the most miserable person in the world.
It was in these days that I had received a request to help out a single mother of two girls who had been abandoned by her alcoholic husband because he couldn't deal with the consequences of her breast cancer. She had a WII-console for her girls and it broke and she couldn't afford a new one. I went over to her house and tried to fix the problem (which didn't work and ended up with me looking for a used one on Ebay). The following week I went over to her to deliver the WII and she was sitting in her garden.
We started talking and she told me about all the things that had happened to her. When she was 26 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she had to deal with the eventuality that she would have to leave her two daughter to grow up without a mother, had all the lymph notes removed from her right arm which left her just short of disabled because she couldn't lift more than 4 pounds with that arm, a never ending stream of migraine attacks and gained 100 pounds because of the chemo therapy.
It was at that exact moment that I felt a sense of shame for having pitied myself so much. Here's somebody who has it even worse than you and she is doing okay, looking up instead of down, full of life and love. When I told her my story she said: "are you going to fix your problems today? You can't go back and change it and maybe tomorrow things will be different so why not enjoy right now?"
She really put things into perspective. So after having stayed with my parents for 3 months I moved in with her and we would look for a home near my kids from there. from the get-go her two girl are in love with me. Of course they also filled my desire to raise kids and help them grow and they have a special place in my heart.
Side note: Her eldest daughter (12 years old) skipped fathers day this year which kind of disappointed me but on Monday morning she stood by my bed and told me:" Any man can be a father but today we're celebrating Dad-day, happy Dad-day"
But of course my ex was still in the picture. Since I left the house her actions became more erratic. I would get phone calls in the middle of the night about how she was cutting herself and loosing her grip on reality. I can't count how often I had to leave work because she called and threatened to hurt the kids if I didn't come and take them away from her. But when I got there she said everything was fine. and this process repeated over and over..
We agreed that the children would be with me every other weekend and I pick them up and bring them back. On bringing my kids back my old neighbor approached me and asked me if she could talk to me about the situation next door. So I came in and she started telling me about all the shouting, fighting, drunken boyfriends, windows breaking and how she was really concerned about it all. I guess my ex must have seen me enter the neighbors house because before we knew it she was banging and kicking on the front door. My neighbor of course opened the front door and my ex comes flying in kicking, screaming and literally tearing the place apart, blood everywhere and 4 kids standing outside looking in and crying.
I've had phone calls from my kids in fear because mom is throwing stuff again and breaking everything. The weird thing is usually the next day everything is back to normal and when I confront my ex with her behavior she denies it and tells me everything is under control now..
My youngest son (then 6 years old) )suffered the most damage from his mother and got beat up a couple of times. So one day she calls me up to tell me that he is probably insane and needs a psychiatrist but since there are no Dutch speaking psychiatrists in Germany and her health insurance doesn't cover healthcare abroad I should take him because she doesn't want him any more. Needless to say I picked him up immediately and he now lives with us. Of course I coordinated this with his former school and they were glad he was going to be living with me for his safety. They didn't understand why his mother would say that he has mental problems and his new school confirms that it is a perfectly normal boy. He now lives with us 1,5 years, loves his new "sisters" and he never wants to see his mother again..
So now I still have 3 kids living with their mother and my oldest son, the one I told you about earlier, out of 200 school days...he skipped 50. Reason: "I was gaming till 04:00 in the morning and I didn't feel like going", at least that's what he tells me and his teachers when we organize a meeting because mother is unreachable..
Normally you'd think that a phone call to some social service or even the police could sort things out. Well I used to live just across the border in Germany and now I live in Holland and that is complicating things a whole lot. She still lives in our old house and the kids go to school in Holland. She hasn't integrated in German society and doesn't speak a word German, neither do the kids, but refuses to go back to Holland because child support in Germany is insanely higher than it is here.
Continued below...
a reply to: ttobban
Now the problem is, Dutch school can't report to German social services and vice versa. So every time something is up with the kids they try to reach their mother but she is never available and doesn't respond to emails and as the father I keep a close contact with both the school of my two younger children and my oldest son and they of course call me whenever something is up.
I have to try and persuade German social services to take action but they just keep sending German speaking people to a household that doesn't speak a word German. It's really frustrating and it's eating me from the inside to see three children being neglected to the point where they are going to loose more than can ever be repaired.
It's a pretty sad situation but whenever my ex finds a new boyfriend things seem to calm down and a period of relative calmness follows where my ex suddenly is mother Theresa herself. In the last 3 years 8 new daddy's have been introduced to the kids and they range from shady to insane. The 6th or 7th had my ex and the children locking themselves in the bathroom because he was throwing bottles of vodka all over the place and threatening to kill her. Police were kind enough to pick him up and escort him elsewhere..
I am glad to report that the latest addition to this sad list seems to be a bit more stable but he never had kids before and didn't know you can't beat kids to make them listen. This made my life a bit easier because I finally had something I could take to the police. Investigation is currently ongoing and I hope to God it will finally get some people off their butt and start helping out because I'm at the end of my rope...
I got 3 years worth of paperwork that is almost reaching the ceiling with reports, notification, accounts, statements and a phone book worth of numbers for people I call almost daily to keep my kids from harm.
I already broke 3 years ago but at the beginning of this year I adopted a new strategy and basically said f*ck it. This is going to be resolved and everything else is going on ice. My children are priority number one and if people want me moving again they'd better be prepared to help me solve this first...
I'm glad to report people on this side of the border are waking up and I don't care if I have to call up ms. Merkel herself to get things moving on the other side.
I've kind of lost track what the point of this thread was again.....oh yeah...education.
What should I be teaching my children?
Clearly if I go by my own experience I should tell them to stop caring for others, figure out how you can screw other people faster than they can screw you and always look out for number one. But I would like to teach them that compassion, honor, love and integrity are most important and that they should reach for the stars because they can change the world, strive to be the best you can be and through education try make a difference in this world...
That's all, thank you for reading this far.
Peace
Now the problem is, Dutch school can't report to German social services and vice versa. So every time something is up with the kids they try to reach their mother but she is never available and doesn't respond to emails and as the father I keep a close contact with both the school of my two younger children and my oldest son and they of course call me whenever something is up.
I have to try and persuade German social services to take action but they just keep sending German speaking people to a household that doesn't speak a word German. It's really frustrating and it's eating me from the inside to see three children being neglected to the point where they are going to loose more than can ever be repaired.
It's a pretty sad situation but whenever my ex finds a new boyfriend things seem to calm down and a period of relative calmness follows where my ex suddenly is mother Theresa herself. In the last 3 years 8 new daddy's have been introduced to the kids and they range from shady to insane. The 6th or 7th had my ex and the children locking themselves in the bathroom because he was throwing bottles of vodka all over the place and threatening to kill her. Police were kind enough to pick him up and escort him elsewhere..
I am glad to report that the latest addition to this sad list seems to be a bit more stable but he never had kids before and didn't know you can't beat kids to make them listen. This made my life a bit easier because I finally had something I could take to the police. Investigation is currently ongoing and I hope to God it will finally get some people off their butt and start helping out because I'm at the end of my rope...
I got 3 years worth of paperwork that is almost reaching the ceiling with reports, notification, accounts, statements and a phone book worth of numbers for people I call almost daily to keep my kids from harm.
I already broke 3 years ago but at the beginning of this year I adopted a new strategy and basically said f*ck it. This is going to be resolved and everything else is going on ice. My children are priority number one and if people want me moving again they'd better be prepared to help me solve this first...
I'm glad to report people on this side of the border are waking up and I don't care if I have to call up ms. Merkel herself to get things moving on the other side.
I've kind of lost track what the point of this thread was again.....oh yeah...education.
What should I be teaching my children?
Clearly if I go by my own experience I should tell them to stop caring for others, figure out how you can screw other people faster than they can screw you and always look out for number one. But I would like to teach them that compassion, honor, love and integrity are most important and that they should reach for the stars because they can change the world, strive to be the best you can be and through education try make a difference in this world...
That's all, thank you for reading this far.
Peace
a reply to: ClovenSky
Of course I feel as if spirit will unfold to resonate through a digital platform at increasing rates. As technologies push into AI sources it may very likely show that the intuition of spirit in experiences with digital communication methods is what separates more humanly actions from artificial and augmented sources. Possibilities aside, I feel it is the ying/yang of life to teach artificial digital sources love and compassion more than the actions of negative influence towards the end to end users of digital communication. The next age of VR and AR will allow for emotion to be experienced at a much higher level than we witness now... we are pretty much in the age of pagers in comparison to what 5G technologies will offer is the way I feel about it now...
I can attest to sleeping being difficult as well due to disconnection concerns, but take the Kaizen (slow wisdom) approach to make very minute changes towards as many aspects as possible is my current practice... I find myself satisfied if I spend a single minute doing or attempting something I dream for the future.
Currently I practice the removal of electronics the first hour of waking and the last hour before sleeping as a practice to get the brain out of the reactive thoughts. It has been amazing to find how my brain feels more free from getting overwhelmed by the buzz of life. It led me to meditate more frequently, which teaches me how important it is to spend time in reflection and essentially find a sleeping state of mind while in a sea of waking life around me.
Them-cellves or them-cellf is just an analogy I use as a reminder of how much of a miracle life is... The genesis effect of cells and the vibrations that live throughout any and all interfaces carry the spirit it shares with other lives, and it means a lot to me is all...
Maybe try this experiment with a partner to act as a weight or resistance? Stand with feet shoulder width apart, weaker hand holding a can of raid or comparible toxin over the heart, strong arm elbow tucked to your side with that palm out forward and facing up. Have somebody push down on the palm facing up... while you will be trying to hold your-cellf up standing strong. Next, switch out the raid for a jar of natural honey... repeating the push down process. I still get amazed at how the strength between the two differs... speaking to how important the smallest of negative sources can breed influence in such non physical ways. There are some cool experiments of food spoiling rates displayed with both negative and positive words written on the containers showing how positive wordage slows the spoiling processes of the food within.
In the end it's all about living all aspects of life with a respect and thankfulness that stays growing. It has been a long path that I would never turn back on now. In the early days of it all it required me to retrain my brain to be thankful... I'd often and still practice repeating something I am thankful for at each step I take to the toilet upon waking. By the time I am off to start the day it is really hard to be pissed when I just spent my waking energy in thankfulness for even the simplest of life's gifts.
Best wishes and many thanks!!!
Of course I feel as if spirit will unfold to resonate through a digital platform at increasing rates. As technologies push into AI sources it may very likely show that the intuition of spirit in experiences with digital communication methods is what separates more humanly actions from artificial and augmented sources. Possibilities aside, I feel it is the ying/yang of life to teach artificial digital sources love and compassion more than the actions of negative influence towards the end to end users of digital communication. The next age of VR and AR will allow for emotion to be experienced at a much higher level than we witness now... we are pretty much in the age of pagers in comparison to what 5G technologies will offer is the way I feel about it now...
I can attest to sleeping being difficult as well due to disconnection concerns, but take the Kaizen (slow wisdom) approach to make very minute changes towards as many aspects as possible is my current practice... I find myself satisfied if I spend a single minute doing or attempting something I dream for the future.
Currently I practice the removal of electronics the first hour of waking and the last hour before sleeping as a practice to get the brain out of the reactive thoughts. It has been amazing to find how my brain feels more free from getting overwhelmed by the buzz of life. It led me to meditate more frequently, which teaches me how important it is to spend time in reflection and essentially find a sleeping state of mind while in a sea of waking life around me.
Them-cellves or them-cellf is just an analogy I use as a reminder of how much of a miracle life is... The genesis effect of cells and the vibrations that live throughout any and all interfaces carry the spirit it shares with other lives, and it means a lot to me is all...
Maybe try this experiment with a partner to act as a weight or resistance? Stand with feet shoulder width apart, weaker hand holding a can of raid or comparible toxin over the heart, strong arm elbow tucked to your side with that palm out forward and facing up. Have somebody push down on the palm facing up... while you will be trying to hold your-cellf up standing strong. Next, switch out the raid for a jar of natural honey... repeating the push down process. I still get amazed at how the strength between the two differs... speaking to how important the smallest of negative sources can breed influence in such non physical ways. There are some cool experiments of food spoiling rates displayed with both negative and positive words written on the containers showing how positive wordage slows the spoiling processes of the food within.
In the end it's all about living all aspects of life with a respect and thankfulness that stays growing. It has been a long path that I would never turn back on now. In the early days of it all it required me to retrain my brain to be thankful... I'd often and still practice repeating something I am thankful for at each step I take to the toilet upon waking. By the time I am off to start the day it is really hard to be pissed when I just spent my waking energy in thankfulness for even the simplest of life's gifts.
Best wishes and many thanks!!!
a reply to: operation mindcrime
I read every word, some twice, and appreciate the sincerity of which you communicate your foundations of spirituality. While it is honorable to live life in as many of selfless ways as possible, there comes a point of which ones own foundations must mend or work from a stronger inner-cellf existence... working from inner to outer always. We can either run the marathon on the perimeter of lifes large circle or return to a central point of inner-cellf to act upon... the perimeter tires my soul while the center point stillness makes the 'step a day' policy easier to conform to.
Lifestyles don't tell your story, and life dramas from outside influences can wreck havoc as limits are seemingly under constant fire/assault as a person pulls on another's willingness to help or offer support for their choices. One of the most unique animal instincts of humans lives in their abilities to manipulate emotions to gain some sort of advantage. One of the most despicable acts a human can act on is their choices to not only be aware of such twisted mental olympics, but to knowingly act on those thoughts. To simplify it through a so-called funnel, it may hurt a bit but you have to cut the cord on allowing such tactics to allow for you to come off of who you are spiritually.
We are all making our soup in life... adding various ingredients along the way to alter the palletes of taste through the various senses. As adding valuable experiences in life as a premise of joy is advised, it is not required that you taste the soup that others make for them-cellves. It is a likely reality that tasting the soup of another could render you poisoned or worse if cellf safety is not made a top priority.
Once your-cellf takes roots of strength your inner teacher will bloom and flourish. There may be many difficult obstacles along the way, but the devotion to your children will shine brightest in the legacy being left by you and clearly for your children.
I like to think of these digital interfaces with the possibilities of boundless emotion being a very large part of how future generations view us as ancestors. Let us think about what I am saying here... maybe even practice some of it in small increments???
The spirit you are sending through this interface causes me to reflect on how important and impactful it would be for your children and loved ones to witness and feel the very things you share with us. This modern day miracle called the internet holds no laws to restrict you from creating a web channel that lets the world watch and feel the emotions you feel with you... together with other like minded souls. No actions or manifested dramas in life could ever outweigh the power of getting to access the legacy one makes for all of time to come. If you record your emotions, keep specifics and finger pointing to a minimum, you may find that you could inspire masses of people... with proud children to learn from at a higher probability as well. When VR and AR sources take hold, these recordings and physical experiences can be accessed simply and for all of time... VR journaling and counseling will be a big part of this.
I don't care if someone likes to drive a Bugatti or play with toy dolls as a passion... there's no reason with all of these miracle technologies that we can't make careers out of turning on a camera. I feel a strong sense of urgency to use technologies in ways that teach unity instead of the commonplace of divide among humans. The next generation of internet will quite possibly turn legacy from something that is left behind to something that eternally lives on... meat sack machines may or may not be included.
The expression of positive emotion brings about light. To learn that dark channels absorbed can serve as a gift in our lives instead of crippling our spirit is a priceless learning. To learn the gifts of light has brought me very important foundations I treasure... aspects like a strong sense that some dark channels in life are innocent and injured... building a foundation of reflection that makes me feel proud and even a bit responsible to help dark channels find light for them-cellves... maybe even absorb some dark as I digest it easier.
The aspects of guidance and teaching is within you and will shine brighter when your inner-cellf becomes the primary topic of approaching life adventures to come. When you sit back, can start each waking session asking "what good can I do today?"... and, you can go to rest even most times with a list of one or more things of the morning's question(s) in a positive light, well you will love life more and more each day I presume. Roots as such not only can change your life individually, but could very likely change the lives of your children for the better as well.
Feel free to PM if a free flow of thought and philosophy is wishes for. As I stated first thing in this thread, I prefer to care more than I know...
Best wishes and internal peace to you... It may be time to put your peace on a platform for once...
I read every word, some twice, and appreciate the sincerity of which you communicate your foundations of spirituality. While it is honorable to live life in as many of selfless ways as possible, there comes a point of which ones own foundations must mend or work from a stronger inner-cellf existence... working from inner to outer always. We can either run the marathon on the perimeter of lifes large circle or return to a central point of inner-cellf to act upon... the perimeter tires my soul while the center point stillness makes the 'step a day' policy easier to conform to.
Lifestyles don't tell your story, and life dramas from outside influences can wreck havoc as limits are seemingly under constant fire/assault as a person pulls on another's willingness to help or offer support for their choices. One of the most unique animal instincts of humans lives in their abilities to manipulate emotions to gain some sort of advantage. One of the most despicable acts a human can act on is their choices to not only be aware of such twisted mental olympics, but to knowingly act on those thoughts. To simplify it through a so-called funnel, it may hurt a bit but you have to cut the cord on allowing such tactics to allow for you to come off of who you are spiritually.
We are all making our soup in life... adding various ingredients along the way to alter the palletes of taste through the various senses. As adding valuable experiences in life as a premise of joy is advised, it is not required that you taste the soup that others make for them-cellves. It is a likely reality that tasting the soup of another could render you poisoned or worse if cellf safety is not made a top priority.
Once your-cellf takes roots of strength your inner teacher will bloom and flourish. There may be many difficult obstacles along the way, but the devotion to your children will shine brightest in the legacy being left by you and clearly for your children.
I like to think of these digital interfaces with the possibilities of boundless emotion being a very large part of how future generations view us as ancestors. Let us think about what I am saying here... maybe even practice some of it in small increments???
The spirit you are sending through this interface causes me to reflect on how important and impactful it would be for your children and loved ones to witness and feel the very things you share with us. This modern day miracle called the internet holds no laws to restrict you from creating a web channel that lets the world watch and feel the emotions you feel with you... together with other like minded souls. No actions or manifested dramas in life could ever outweigh the power of getting to access the legacy one makes for all of time to come. If you record your emotions, keep specifics and finger pointing to a minimum, you may find that you could inspire masses of people... with proud children to learn from at a higher probability as well. When VR and AR sources take hold, these recordings and physical experiences can be accessed simply and for all of time... VR journaling and counseling will be a big part of this.
I don't care if someone likes to drive a Bugatti or play with toy dolls as a passion... there's no reason with all of these miracle technologies that we can't make careers out of turning on a camera. I feel a strong sense of urgency to use technologies in ways that teach unity instead of the commonplace of divide among humans. The next generation of internet will quite possibly turn legacy from something that is left behind to something that eternally lives on... meat sack machines may or may not be included.
The expression of positive emotion brings about light. To learn that dark channels absorbed can serve as a gift in our lives instead of crippling our spirit is a priceless learning. To learn the gifts of light has brought me very important foundations I treasure... aspects like a strong sense that some dark channels in life are innocent and injured... building a foundation of reflection that makes me feel proud and even a bit responsible to help dark channels find light for them-cellves... maybe even absorb some dark as I digest it easier.
The aspects of guidance and teaching is within you and will shine brighter when your inner-cellf becomes the primary topic of approaching life adventures to come. When you sit back, can start each waking session asking "what good can I do today?"... and, you can go to rest even most times with a list of one or more things of the morning's question(s) in a positive light, well you will love life more and more each day I presume. Roots as such not only can change your life individually, but could very likely change the lives of your children for the better as well.
Feel free to PM if a free flow of thought and philosophy is wishes for. As I stated first thing in this thread, I prefer to care more than I know...
Best wishes and internal peace to you... It may be time to put your peace on a platform for once...
edit on 19-8-2018 by ttobban because:
Spelling
a reply to: operation mindcrime
wow dude, your tale brought me to tears. I have went through similar circumstances, but only 1/10th of the severity. I am really finding it hard to feel sorry for myself at this point and I enjoyed that selfishness every once in a while. Damn.
I experienced the failure of trying to keep a family intact. Then after separation, the slow and constant detachment the ex performs to remove you out of the picture from your own children. I couldn't even fathom the reasons why but there are online communities that are helping me understand the nature of that. But at least you kept on fighting (right or wrong) where I simply went my own way and refuse to rejoin the plantation.
I don't think that being born into wealth and notoriety is an advantage. If anything, it makes life much much harder. I was at least privileged to be born into low class without wealth. The weekly/monthly struggle for income to pay for food and shelter and how my parents handled that will always serve as one of my most cherished lessons from them. Without material goods, they were forced to seek satisfaction through the spiritual and my god, life was good. I owe them a lot and try to repay it as they age to even up the karmic debt. A debt my children will never owe me, sadly.
You sound like you are still mentally strong and sound. With everything that you have been through, how can you not have some pride in that simple fact alone? You have lived, experienced and seen more than most will ever come across through their entire lifetimes. And yet, you still draw breath. How can you not have pride in that?
Why would you ever try to compare yourself to a simple slip of paper that only declares that you can repeat what someone else wants to hear? It tells you nothing of what you understand about this reality, especially mainstream slips of paper. I would never lower yourself or demean yourself from what you have accomplished already. I would hold my head up with pride that life has #ed the living # out of you without lube and yet you still show compassion towards others. That in my book to true winning. The thing of tiger blood. The true path of this reality.
I would always claim you as friend.
peace
wow dude, your tale brought me to tears. I have went through similar circumstances, but only 1/10th of the severity. I am really finding it hard to feel sorry for myself at this point and I enjoyed that selfishness every once in a while. Damn.
I experienced the failure of trying to keep a family intact. Then after separation, the slow and constant detachment the ex performs to remove you out of the picture from your own children. I couldn't even fathom the reasons why but there are online communities that are helping me understand the nature of that. But at least you kept on fighting (right or wrong) where I simply went my own way and refuse to rejoin the plantation.
I don't think that being born into wealth and notoriety is an advantage. If anything, it makes life much much harder. I was at least privileged to be born into low class without wealth. The weekly/monthly struggle for income to pay for food and shelter and how my parents handled that will always serve as one of my most cherished lessons from them. Without material goods, they were forced to seek satisfaction through the spiritual and my god, life was good. I owe them a lot and try to repay it as they age to even up the karmic debt. A debt my children will never owe me, sadly.
You sound like you are still mentally strong and sound. With everything that you have been through, how can you not have some pride in that simple fact alone? You have lived, experienced and seen more than most will ever come across through their entire lifetimes. And yet, you still draw breath. How can you not have pride in that?
Why would you ever try to compare yourself to a simple slip of paper that only declares that you can repeat what someone else wants to hear? It tells you nothing of what you understand about this reality, especially mainstream slips of paper. I would never lower yourself or demean yourself from what you have accomplished already. I would hold my head up with pride that life has #ed the living # out of you without lube and yet you still show compassion towards others. That in my book to true winning. The thing of tiger blood. The true path of this reality.
I would always claim you as friend.
peace
The question is whether current university education is becoming so propagandist, that it's really no longer an education.
In fact, I've heard some refer to the humanities as "child abuse" these days.
And many already arrive there firmly brainwashed with terms like "white privilege" and "toxic masculinity" - two things they can never deviate from.
Even the leftists are turning on each other as they keep shifting the goalposts.
And neither will they leave the science departments alone - they too should bend to their ideology.
My guess is so many people will find themselves excluded and de-platformed that an entire alternative university will eventually develop, because decreasing amounts of people will waste their money on this nonsense.
In fact, I've heard some refer to the humanities as "child abuse" these days.
And many already arrive there firmly brainwashed with terms like "white privilege" and "toxic masculinity" - two things they can never deviate from.
Even the leftists are turning on each other as they keep shifting the goalposts.
And neither will they leave the science departments alone - they too should bend to their ideology.
My guess is so many people will find themselves excluded and de-platformed that an entire alternative university will eventually develop, because decreasing amounts of people will waste their money on this nonsense.
edit on 19-8-2018 by halfoldman because: (no reason
given)
edit on 19-8-2018 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)
a reply to: operation mindcrime
This might seem a tad off-topic, and if so, so be it.
I have seen many levels of "education" that didn't have much to do with formal training. I was sitting with a group of my friends at a bar and watching a guy we all know that was fishing off the drop-op about 500 yards from us. Some of the guys talked about what an "idiot" he is, and I objected. They turned to me and my buddy who knows my background said, "you've got a degree in Chem and minors in other weird #, how can you object to us calling Richard an idiot?"
I said, "What good does my degree do me here? [Caribbean] Even in the U.S., it was just a piece of paper to get my foot in the door for better things. But now Richard........... Richard is a fishing savant; he sees birds in the distance where they are mere dots in the sky to you and me, and he knows what kind of birds they are and what they are likely hitting on. Richard knows what the ripples in the sea mean, and what the various temperatures mean. In this world, his knowledge is relevant. Mine is not. He is a Fishing Genius."
Okay, that is my rough remembrance of the conversation, probably not word for word.
Short answer: It doesn't matter where you get it, just that you do. "Education" is all about us, and the things I learned as a child living on the edge of a wilderness area are far more applicable to my modern world than the formal education.
FWIW, I had (because it's been so long ago) a degree in Chem with minors in Math and Physics. That led me to environmental clean-up/monitoring jobs on contract to the USG. That led me to finding the love of my life, so I would not change a thing. Really glad for semester in which I took ballet, because it's good to laugh at yourself.
This might seem a tad off-topic, and if so, so be it.
I have seen many levels of "education" that didn't have much to do with formal training. I was sitting with a group of my friends at a bar and watching a guy we all know that was fishing off the drop-op about 500 yards from us. Some of the guys talked about what an "idiot" he is, and I objected. They turned to me and my buddy who knows my background said, "you've got a degree in Chem and minors in other weird #, how can you object to us calling Richard an idiot?"
I said, "What good does my degree do me here? [Caribbean] Even in the U.S., it was just a piece of paper to get my foot in the door for better things. But now Richard........... Richard is a fishing savant; he sees birds in the distance where they are mere dots in the sky to you and me, and he knows what kind of birds they are and what they are likely hitting on. Richard knows what the ripples in the sea mean, and what the various temperatures mean. In this world, his knowledge is relevant. Mine is not. He is a Fishing Genius."
Okay, that is my rough remembrance of the conversation, probably not word for word.
Short answer: It doesn't matter where you get it, just that you do. "Education" is all about us, and the things I learned as a child living on the edge of a wilderness area are far more applicable to my modern world than the formal education.
FWIW, I had (because it's been so long ago) a degree in Chem with minors in Math and Physics. That led me to environmental clean-up/monitoring jobs on contract to the USG. That led me to finding the love of my life, so I would not change a thing. Really glad for semester in which I took ballet, because it's good to laugh at yourself.
a reply to: ClovenSky
Maybe it's the sleep deprivation or I'm turning into a softie but your words really filled my heart with hope and warmth.
As I already told in my earlier post I stopped working beginning this year to concentrate on the situation surrounding my kids but since I left my kids (2015) I haven't been able to juggle that many balls at once. I take my work serious but when you have to get up and go every time my kids were in a stressful situation (which was a lot of times) you have to have a pretty patient employer.
He offered that it was a good idea if I switched my permanent contract to a freelance activity so we could make things more flexible for both of us. As this whole situation wasn't his concern and he was trying to run a business as well I agreed because it seemed like the most fair solution.
I really don't care for money but up until I left my ex I was enjoying a nice 6 figure yearly income to finance my ex's picket fence fantasy. Well you guessed it...that went down pretty vast since I was sending invoices for hours worked but I couldn't care much. I was living with my parents and everything above 1060,- bucks a month was going to my ex..
So when I moved in with my new girlfriend it really didn't ask for much adaptation since she was already used to welfare. We've been winging it on basically nothing. Rent, gas, light, water, internet and groceries and that's about all you can squeeze out of 1400,- bucks for a family of 5 over here. But it has been the best experience of my whole life...
I've worked in IT all my life but I found out carpentry, cooking, gardening, arts and craft etc are all career paths I missed because I excel at these things and I take great pride in the fact that our house turned into some kind of combination between a playground, British estate garden with a classic country style interior all made from stuff I got for free or hustled up.
I build a tree house with the kids, made an oversize rabbit hutch (because the kids wanted a rabbit but I'm against keeping animals in cages so we compromised and now he living more spacious than I am...lol), dug in a trampoline on the lawn, 70 foot swinging rope....my garden has become the new playground for about 25 neighborhood kids and it still looks classy. Last month I finished a really cool bench (one of those around a tree benches) for the local school and had all the kids over to carve their names into it...
I try to involve the kids in all activity and no money in the world could buy this experience but the thing is...both ex partners are trying to "bribe" their way into the kids hearts and the are making it pretty clear in their own way that our house is the best home they ever had. We fill our time with boardgames, discussion and well basically everything you can think of that involves using your imagination (currently my youngest "step"daughter in taking much pride in having learned how to use the cordless drill...lol). I've noticed that the only thing kids need is sincere attention and somebody to cheer them on...
But there's always this notion I'm not giving these kids the things the other kids get. We just finished the 6 week summer holiday and where all their friends were off to far away places we didn't get further than were our bikes could take us.
That's why your words have filled me with so much joy!!! I hope they will have the same memory of this weird time in my life and if that is the case I can die a happy man.
Thank you so much for giving me that hope and I will save your reply for future reference might I forget these words.
Peace
Maybe it's the sleep deprivation or I'm turning into a softie but your words really filled my heart with hope and warmth.
As I already told in my earlier post I stopped working beginning this year to concentrate on the situation surrounding my kids but since I left my kids (2015) I haven't been able to juggle that many balls at once. I take my work serious but when you have to get up and go every time my kids were in a stressful situation (which was a lot of times) you have to have a pretty patient employer.
He offered that it was a good idea if I switched my permanent contract to a freelance activity so we could make things more flexible for both of us. As this whole situation wasn't his concern and he was trying to run a business as well I agreed because it seemed like the most fair solution.
I really don't care for money but up until I left my ex I was enjoying a nice 6 figure yearly income to finance my ex's picket fence fantasy. Well you guessed it...that went down pretty vast since I was sending invoices for hours worked but I couldn't care much. I was living with my parents and everything above 1060,- bucks a month was going to my ex..
So when I moved in with my new girlfriend it really didn't ask for much adaptation since she was already used to welfare. We've been winging it on basically nothing. Rent, gas, light, water, internet and groceries and that's about all you can squeeze out of 1400,- bucks for a family of 5 over here. But it has been the best experience of my whole life...
I've worked in IT all my life but I found out carpentry, cooking, gardening, arts and craft etc are all career paths I missed because I excel at these things and I take great pride in the fact that our house turned into some kind of combination between a playground, British estate garden with a classic country style interior all made from stuff I got for free or hustled up.
I build a tree house with the kids, made an oversize rabbit hutch (because the kids wanted a rabbit but I'm against keeping animals in cages so we compromised and now he living more spacious than I am...lol), dug in a trampoline on the lawn, 70 foot swinging rope....my garden has become the new playground for about 25 neighborhood kids and it still looks classy. Last month I finished a really cool bench (one of those around a tree benches) for the local school and had all the kids over to carve their names into it...
I try to involve the kids in all activity and no money in the world could buy this experience but the thing is...both ex partners are trying to "bribe" their way into the kids hearts and the are making it pretty clear in their own way that our house is the best home they ever had. We fill our time with boardgames, discussion and well basically everything you can think of that involves using your imagination (currently my youngest "step"daughter in taking much pride in having learned how to use the cordless drill...lol). I've noticed that the only thing kids need is sincere attention and somebody to cheer them on...
But there's always this notion I'm not giving these kids the things the other kids get. We just finished the 6 week summer holiday and where all their friends were off to far away places we didn't get further than were our bikes could take us.
That's why your words have filled me with so much joy!!! I hope they will have the same memory of this weird time in my life and if that is the case I can die a happy man.
Thank you so much for giving me that hope and I will save your reply for future reference might I forget these words.
Peace
edit on 2018pAmerica/ChicagoSun, 19 Aug 2018 16:02:53 -0500pm310220188 by operation mindcrime because: (no reason given)
a reply to: argentus
Hahaha...This thread turned into the off-topic parade but strangely you are so on topic with your post..
I'm learning about all the Richards in this world in a fast way and how I have been chasing the wrong things.
At this point I'm feeling more like one of those Alaskan gold-diggers who take two broken things and turn them into one working thing because there isn't any alternative. I've got a washing machine that should have died two years ago but with the carbon brushes from an old drill that thing is still getting my clothes clean to this day.
I've fixed up an old above ground swimming pool for the kids which somebody was going to throw away but the water never gets warm enough to really enjoy it (kids don't mind but dad's do) so I got some old copper piping, a wood stove and an old pump and beside having a really cozy outdoor fire place I can get that thing hotter than my bathtub (which I don't have but figuratively speaking).
You see, Richard has taken his time to really look and learn how to rely on his own means. I've been caught in this world of people relying on other people to do the things that make them do the things that other people rely on (huh?..yeah I had to read that twice as well) but if the chain breaks they run around like helpless zombies not knowing what to do.
But to get back to the topic of your reply....
You see, you have used your education for something that is making this world better. Environmental clean-up, wow...I so envy your job. While I have been filling the pockets of my bosses with nonsense you were out there using your education to better this world.
Much respect and thank you for your reply.
Peace
Hahaha...This thread turned into the off-topic parade but strangely you are so on topic with your post..
I'm learning about all the Richards in this world in a fast way and how I have been chasing the wrong things.
At this point I'm feeling more like one of those Alaskan gold-diggers who take two broken things and turn them into one working thing because there isn't any alternative. I've got a washing machine that should have died two years ago but with the carbon brushes from an old drill that thing is still getting my clothes clean to this day.
I've fixed up an old above ground swimming pool for the kids which somebody was going to throw away but the water never gets warm enough to really enjoy it (kids don't mind but dad's do) so I got some old copper piping, a wood stove and an old pump and beside having a really cozy outdoor fire place I can get that thing hotter than my bathtub (which I don't have but figuratively speaking).
You see, Richard has taken his time to really look and learn how to rely on his own means. I've been caught in this world of people relying on other people to do the things that make them do the things that other people rely on (huh?..yeah I had to read that twice as well) but if the chain breaks they run around like helpless zombies not knowing what to do.
But to get back to the topic of your reply....
You see, you have used your education for something that is making this world better. Environmental clean-up, wow...I so envy your job. While I have been filling the pockets of my bosses with nonsense you were out there using your education to better this world.
Much respect and thank you for your reply.
Peace
edit on 2018pAmerica/ChicagoSun, 19 Aug 2018 16:57:43 -0500pm315720188 by operation mindcrime because: (no reason given)
a reply to: operation mindcrime
The Richards of this world have things all figured out. Life is not always easy, but it is simple. I try to emulate Richard and thus we live simply. The Richards of this world don't stress about things they can't affect. They don't worry about what might happen next week, month, year, decade or ever; they concern themselves with seasonal changes and how that might affect their lives.
Another Richardism for you: When I first met Richard (an affable and friendly guy) he asked me what I missed about the U.S. I told him that I missed seasons. He said, "we have seasons". I said, "yes, but where I am from there is more than summer and not-summer." He said, "no, there are plenty more. There is mango season, lobster season, grouper season, dolphin season, conch season, lime season........" He was right. I was just focusing on the wrong aspects of life. We are RICH with seasons and seasonings (don't get me started!)
YOU have learned to adapt. That is the richest of experience that education has to offer, imho. To learn how to fabricate things that you need from existing things within your reach is possibly one of the most important aspects of the human experience, and certainly one of the most amazing attributes of the species. Those who can will survive. I hope humans survive, if it is right that they do so.
I don't do environmental cleanups any more, having moved to a country with no regulation to drive it. However, I still consult with folks that are still in the industry. I dealt with superfund cleanup sites at one time, and at the same time, wee little buildings that had groundwater problems. It remains my opinion that preservation and cleanup of the water lenses and vadose zones and groundwater is the most of what we should be focusing on. I will now step off my soapbox, since I'm the only one here old enough to know what a soapbox IS.
The Richards of this world have things all figured out. Life is not always easy, but it is simple. I try to emulate Richard and thus we live simply. The Richards of this world don't stress about things they can't affect. They don't worry about what might happen next week, month, year, decade or ever; they concern themselves with seasonal changes and how that might affect their lives.
Another Richardism for you: When I first met Richard (an affable and friendly guy) he asked me what I missed about the U.S. I told him that I missed seasons. He said, "we have seasons". I said, "yes, but where I am from there is more than summer and not-summer." He said, "no, there are plenty more. There is mango season, lobster season, grouper season, dolphin season, conch season, lime season........" He was right. I was just focusing on the wrong aspects of life. We are RICH with seasons and seasonings (don't get me started!)
YOU have learned to adapt. That is the richest of experience that education has to offer, imho. To learn how to fabricate things that you need from existing things within your reach is possibly one of the most important aspects of the human experience, and certainly one of the most amazing attributes of the species. Those who can will survive. I hope humans survive, if it is right that they do so.
I don't do environmental cleanups any more, having moved to a country with no regulation to drive it. However, I still consult with folks that are still in the industry. I dealt with superfund cleanup sites at one time, and at the same time, wee little buildings that had groundwater problems. It remains my opinion that preservation and cleanup of the water lenses and vadose zones and groundwater is the most of what we should be focusing on. I will now step off my soapbox, since I'm the only one here old enough to know what a soapbox IS.
a reply to: operation mindcrime
Just one more reply and I will leave you alone.
In my not so humble opinion, you are giving those kids everything they will need to survive in life. You are teaching them more about the real world and how to remain compassionate in the face of adversity compared to any mainstream education out there.
You are giving them the guidance that you so admired from your earlier friend's parents. I wish for you to let go of your doubts and bask in the life well lived. The admirable life you are giving those children. The best part of this reality, being poor and humble but still grasping life with both hands and accepting it all, gleefully. The memories they are gaining now of from your human interaction will outstrip anything money could possibly buy.
In fact, I could probably learn a lot about the righteous path you travel. Maybe even enough to not disparage on those with formal educational certificates.
Hold you head high. Judge yourself based upon the noble and compassionate deeds you have already performed. Never be ashamed for who you are, so that you will never hide from the past. Soak up the pain and misery, learn from those lessons and the past will become a welcome friend instead of a constant foe. Bask in the spirituality that you bring to those you choose to be surrounded by. Most of all, love life and through that love, the others around you will also shine with the light you have created.
There is no replacement for who you became and there are no limits on how much joy you can dish out.
Just one more reply and I will leave you alone.
In my not so humble opinion, you are giving those kids everything they will need to survive in life. You are teaching them more about the real world and how to remain compassionate in the face of adversity compared to any mainstream education out there.
You are giving them the guidance that you so admired from your earlier friend's parents. I wish for you to let go of your doubts and bask in the life well lived. The admirable life you are giving those children. The best part of this reality, being poor and humble but still grasping life with both hands and accepting it all, gleefully. The memories they are gaining now of from your human interaction will outstrip anything money could possibly buy.
In fact, I could probably learn a lot about the righteous path you travel. Maybe even enough to not disparage on those with formal educational certificates.
Hold you head high. Judge yourself based upon the noble and compassionate deeds you have already performed. Never be ashamed for who you are, so that you will never hide from the past. Soak up the pain and misery, learn from those lessons and the past will become a welcome friend instead of a constant foe. Bask in the spirituality that you bring to those you choose to be surrounded by. Most of all, love life and through that love, the others around you will also shine with the light you have created.
There is no replacement for who you became and there are no limits on how much joy you can dish out.
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