Objectification or compliment?

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
a reply to: projectvxn

Of course its OK to think that, or anything else. Its the last bastion of true freedom, i hope.

Nonetheless, its something that has to be tempered with the perception of others. Friendly compliments can easily come across as flirtatious. And can be the source of angst.

Behave, people should stop being scared of offending each other when they are just being nice ffs.
EDIT
I was listening to KISSTORY at the the time I posted the OP.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It has always been that way. Its called "social graces".

Other ways you could "be nice" while insulting people would include giving unsolicited weight loss advice to a corpulent woman, or complimenting a man on how well his comb over covers his bald spot.

If its just me (long beard, 6'2" and 300 some odd lbs) and a woman standing in the elevator, the last thing she wants is for me to begin taking any notice of her at all. Any comment I make will be met with the shortest reply possible that will keep her from being killed by this enormous creeper in the elevator.

There is a difference between being a candy ass that bends over backwards to never offend, and someone who doesn't engage in unwanted conversation on unwanted topics. Im sure you know the difference, i just want drag this conversation out of the realm of absolutes.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan
Wow we are so different.
Every random human, just love in my heart mate.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy
In two of your post you spoke of natural warmth and heartfelt love. They are very palpable expressions.

I think if bigfatfurrytexan feels uncomfortable or expects rejection from his attempts at good will, that it is highly possible he will project his negative expectations, and his attempt at general goodwill may not come off as such.

I believe it is the same if it is a compliment, or a general act of kindness. I think it will come across according to the way that you feel, and is what you will project.

Unless you run across someone that is really having a bad day, or just wants to be a dick, but you can turn that around as well if you feel it is worth the effort.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn
Love for the conversation is all that counts to me here lol x

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy Lol people not on it see people,lol, the world is mad,

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Most women want this....

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Yes I agree that it is an odd world today that we can't be genuinely warm to each other and complimentary without fear of misinterpretation or whatever sometimes. I still do it anyway and if it is taken wrong I'd be happy to explain or if it was met with offense I would try to just shrug it off and move on.


a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan
Your personal comment literally made me laugh!
Same!!!

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

It could be possible. Never argued against my own social awkwardness.

Being someone who marches to their own drum, ive typically engaged the world on my terms. I was hairy before the hipsters, with hair to my waist and a long beard for most of my life. And am rather large (although was much fatter in my 30s).

But lets not kid....there are large swaths of women out there who see any courtesy as sexual advancement. And due to the messed up world we live in....if that rhetorical lady in the elevator looked 15, i wouldnt even get on the elevator to begin with without someone else there.

But i live in a small town. Just a whisper of rumor can ruin you. And theres no shortage if that in small towns.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
But lets not kid....there are large swaths of women out there who see any courtesy as sexual advancement.

The flip side is any time some chick talks to us we're all like, 'She wants me'.

Tell the truth guys, you still flex your arm if a female even brushes against it.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
But lets not kid....there are large swaths of women out there who see any courtesy as sexual advancement.

The flip side is any time some chick talks to us we're all like, 'She wants me'.

Tell the truth guys, you still flex your arm if a female even brushes against it.

I guess theres guys like that. Its probably a big reason why theres chicks like that.

I just want to make it through my day with minimal awkwardness.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
I just want to make it through my day with minimal awkwardness.

That makes one of us. I am a walking bag of inappropriateness.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

I live in a town so small that Facebook has become the town crier, so I know exactly what you mean.

Last week a deputy's car was seen parked in front of a local home and ACC showed up. This became an play by play of everything that was going on from the numerous vantage points of the numerous neighbors that chimed in, right down to the color of the gloves that the ACC officer was wearing.

You can get a short video of the folk riding their kids on the back of their motorcycles without helmets, and video of folk passing when there is double yellow line in the road. Complete with clearly visible vehicle tags. Photos will be posted of any strange car or any unrecognized person on any street.

They are awesome though about tracking down any missing pets and getting any found pets back home. They are great for helping out if a local has a need, simple or complex. The majority of them are quite generous and will freely share their goods and their services, but small towners do like their gossip and are sometimes way too quick to spread a rumor.

Yet, I love them just the way they are.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Lol....remember that i am the HR presence in my operation. The only people who get the dank stuff are the GM and my son (he works for us now).

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
Lol....remember that i am the HR presence in my operation.

I do.

The only people who get the dank stuff are the GM and my son (he works for us now).

How's that working out? He figure out ways to do it better than the old man yet?

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Lol....remember that i am the HR presence in my operation. The only people who get the dank stuff are the GM and my son (he works for us now).

put me down for some dank stuff ok

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
Lol....remember that i am the HR presence in my operation.

I do.

The only people who get the dank stuff are the GM and my son (he works for us now).

How's that working out? He figure out ways to do it better than the old man yet?

Well....


....he's the only maintenance presence on the property. We have hundreds of enormous, old trees to rake up leaves from all fall/winter, and acres of grass to mow all summer, and he was hired as groundskeeper. But when he does maintenance work, it turns out my experience doing the same in my younger days helps quite a bit. He'll come to me to show him how to mix mortar and stuff.

He'll likely never do the things I do. And if he wants to do them as well as me he better get started practicing on them soon. By his age i had won state level contests for coding in Pascal. But to be honest...i like him walking his own path. He outworks just about everyone here, and everyone readily acknowledges it. He's groundskeeper, server assistant, steward, expo, and file admin.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
But lets not kid....there are large swaths of women out there who see any courtesy as sexual advancement. And due to the messed up world we live in....if that rhetorical lady in the elevator looked 15, i wouldnt even get on the elevator to begin with without someone else there.

I totally get you there, luckily in CCTV'd up Britain, every elevator I use has a camera so I'll share it with any single female...I just make damn sure I'm square against the wall.
If the lift has more than a couple of women in it though and is cramped, I'll wait for the next one, just that one accusation of 'rubbing up' to someone would be a nightmare.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
He outworks just about everyone here...

That is the main component of what you need to succeed in life.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
He outworks just about everyone here...

That is the main component of what you need to succeed in life.

That's the truth, I'd be a multi millionaire by now if I wasn't so damn lazy. Ah, I'm happy though, roof over my head, food in my belly, and chilled in a life filled with much love...I know, bloody hippy.