Why Masons stole then shaved my llama

originally posted by: badw0lf
But I'm sure I would have noticed this scoundrel lurking about, with devious llama stealing intent. You can see it in his eyes.

Kelly Capwell was a bit nicer though.

Trick post.

That's a picture of Jennifer Lawrence.

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: badw0lf
But I'm sure I would have noticed this scoundrel lurking about, with devious llama stealing intent. You can see it in his eyes.

Kelly Capwell was a bit nicer though.

Trick post.

That's a picture of Jennifer Lawrence.

I thought that picture was Bidgette Bardot... or that french lady that used to live with Rod Stewart.

originally posted by: NightFlight

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: badw0lf
But I'm sure I would have noticed this scoundrel lurking about, with devious llama stealing intent. You can see it in his eyes.

Kelly Capwell was a bit nicer though.

Trick post.

That's a picture of Jennifer Lawrence.

I thought that picture was Bidgette Bardot... or that french lady that used to live with Rod Stewart.

Her name was Mick Jagger.

a reply to: DBCowboy

That's nothing. The local Rotarians broke into my house while I was out at work and painted all my light bulbs black. Now, when I turn the lights on, it gets darker.

originally posted by: CulturalResilience
a reply to: DBCowboy

That's nothing. The local Rotarians broke into my house while I was out at work and painted all my light bulbs black. Now, when I turn the lights on, it gets darker.

Screw the bulbs in upside down.

That should fix the problem.

Genius! I am also going to rotate my letterbox through one hundred and eighty degrees so that the utility companies get bills from me.

originally posted by: CulturalResilience
Genius! I am also going to rotate my letterbox through one hundred and eighty degrees so that the utility companies get bills from me.

If you reverse the electrical wires you get free power to your home as well.

But don't reverse your septic tank.

Trust me, after the 4th time, I've learned my lesson!

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: CulturalResilience
Genius! I am also going to rotate my letterbox through one hundred and eighty degrees so that the utility companies get bills from me.

If you reverse the electrical wires you get free power to your home as well.

But don't reverse your septic tank.

Trust me, after the 4th time, I've learned my lesson!

Fiendish brilliance. I have devised a cunning plan to end WW1 two years early by travelling back in time to 1916 and dropping 1918 calendars on the German trenches.

a reply to: CulturalResilience

I'm guessing that it was you that used mad ninja skills on John Wilkes Booth when he tried to assassinate Lincoln!

You would have gotten away without detection if you hadn't have said, "Dilly Dilly" then took a selfi.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I cannot conceal it any longer, I am a slave to my own indolent vanity. On a lighter note, I am happy to report that after lengthy negotiations, an accord has been reached between myself and the dissident Bolivian Uni-cyclists that have established a breakaway Enclave in my Potting Shed. A zone of demarcation has been agreed along the line of the Herbaceous Border and trade talks are scheduled to begin next week. Peace in our time.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I know a girl....she has long red hair, pale complexion, and freckles. Her name?......Ginger.

Coincidence? I think not.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I wonder if the Masons made a wig for someone using poor Jefferies splendid Technicolor coat of dreams...maybe a ginger who escaped your chamber of color ?

a reply to: DBCowboy


I've publically denied everything else attributed to us; Devil Worship, baby eating, chipping kids, controlling the FED but I cannot in good conscience deny the shaving of DB's 'llama'. We did it.

We threw up in our mouths a little, but we did it.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

the way he squirmed when you fired up the clippers was funny. We all wondered why you did the backside first, but when you made him walk backwards and said, "look, He looks like his owner winking", we all immediately understood.

a reply to: network dude


He did, but his owner is juuuuuuuust a bit more hirsute.

It looks like he's wearing mohair pajamas when he's naked.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: network dude


He did, but his owner is juuuuuuuust a bit more hirsute.

It looks like he's wearing mohair pajamas when he's naked.

It's how I shop at Walmart.

originally posted by: DBCowboy

It's how I shop at Walmart.

Explains the recent Squatch sighting there.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: DBCowboy

It's how I shop at Walmart.

Explains the recent Squatch sighting there.

on the plus side, I get into all the Star Wars movies for free.

My diabolical plan is to join the masons and give them all aprons to wear.
I'm grossly tired of masons not hiding anything.

ETA: If I Were Mason... I'd Steal The Star They Worship... And Barter For World Peace. Then Fire G.A.O.T.U For Excessive Absence.

Does ATS give out coupons for WATS points...