What the hell is wrong with some people?

Note: this is a personal rant, mostly, just because I may feel better typing it out...so don't expect anything profound, or anything.

What the hell is wrong with people? Some specific ones, right now, but I mean....I just would never even CONSIDER treating folks this way...especially those who've done nothing but try and help me out.

First, there's my stepson. He's getting ready to move out the end of this month. Wants his "freedom" (despite having his own room, and we never care what hours he keeps, just let us know if you'll be there a given night for dinner, or spending the night somewhere, etc.). He's moving in with his sister (same reason when she moved out, and she even had her own outside door, lol). He'll be paying $50 more for rent, plus half the utilities, and then food, toiletries, etc. (can't wait for him to see how this all adds up).

But, not mad about all that. We WANT him to learn on his own, so that's all good. He's been sleeping over at our daughter's place because it's close to the new job. Comes home for ONE day and night (to do some more packing), and manages to break the toilet handle, and put a huge hole in the wall with his bike helmet (doesn't even have a bike!)... Why? Because he was mad when he broke his "unbreakable" phone (Again!).... Just...really? You're home one day, have to put a hole in my wall, and break my toilet? (while not even cleaning up anything around the house, or helping with the horses, despite being home all day)??? I mean, if it doesn't help him, why bother, right?

Then, there's this boarder (we board horses as we have some acres and stalls for 10 horses (and only own 2). She got a divorce, and needed a new place for her horses (no longer can use her home and land). She's an older lady, so can generally rely on them to be decent. I had a bad feeling though, going in, but the wife fell for the sob story. Well, 3 months in, and she's way behind on board, keeps complaining her health keeps her from taking care of her horses (she pays for SELF board), and still hasn't brought a saddle back she borrowed to try on a horse before she moved in...months ago!

We even had to pay to have one of her horse's feet done (because the poor thing just needed it, and she wasn't getting it done). Want to give her notice, but really not until her next payment and bringing that saddle back (can likely sell it for about $200 or so). We've already forgiven all kinds of fees (mostly because she's already way behind in board fees (hundreds), so doubt we'll see a lot of that either...). Fees for providing horse blankets during cold weather (usually $10 charge per night needed, and she has 4 horses), late fees, fees for stall cleaning, etc. I just don't get it. We gave her a bargain basement rate for board ($125 per horse, per month, and we do feedings and turn in/out, with her hay, feed).

Guess I just can't wait till just me and the wife in the house, and not having everything get broken. And it staying clean enough for company. And a lower electric (as he's always up when the rest of the house sleeps).

And can't wait till this lady is gone, and she realizes she can't support these horses, and we get them to a good home that can. I get it, she loves 'em, but they are beyond her ability to provide for them.

Ugh...

a reply to: Gazrok

sounds like he has no respect or appreciation for himself or others.

the lady too, let her be an example that not everyone "figures it out" some are either taught by their parents or they just never learn and end up a # person the rest of their life.

In her case, she was a "kept" woman, then exchanged out for a younger model.
But, at first, she was letting him just cut her a check, vs. having court ordered alimony. Eventually, he got lazy with the checks (likely spending on the younger gal).

I feel for her, I really do, but I got my own bills...we're not a charity, can't afford to be, and we discussed all of this upfront. Time to cut bait (and our losses).

Yeah, really, the stepson just doesn't care for himself or others. Not sure where he learned it. We didn't get him or his sister until they were already 18 (20 in the case of the daughter).

Oh, and forgot this....

Since he was home, we wanted to make one of his favorites, Chicken Tikka Masala. But, they sell the sauce at a store out of our way (but right next to a place he was going that day...). Gave him $10 and asked him to pick up two of them. Took the chicken out, went to work. Came home. Do you think he got the sauce? If you said yes, you'd be incorrect. However, I SO know my son (and knew he couldn't handle that simple request), that I had already picked up an alternative for dinner (even the wife was surprised, but had to laugh). That's just sad. Truly.

a reply to: Gazrok

. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

This is from an email doing the rounds lately.

She sounds like it's time to move her on before the 100s become 1000s.

She sounds like it's time to move her on before the 100s become 1000s.

Exactly what I told the wife. I will NOT let it get to 1000. Sadly, not our first time being burned like this, which is why we require a deposit, but with 4 horses, it was a hefty deposit, so were letting her split it up over 4 months.

Not doing that anymore. If they can't afford it with the deposit, then they likely can't afford it. And if they can't afford our cheap ass board, then they can't afford to own a damn horse. WE can only afford it due to having boarders as it is....lol.

Only thing keeping me sane, is I have fun plans for his room when he's out. Making it a game room. Can finally bring out some of my collectables and geeky stuff, and have a fun little place for them, and all of our boardgames and roleplaying games, etc. His room is already painted black, so I've got these Star Wars wall decals, can hang up my old Star Wars ships, etc.

I'm a big dorky kid sometimes.

a reply to: Gazrok

How's it work there? In the UK you'd need the courts to get her out which is costly and takes time.

a reply to: Gazrok

If this woman is elderly, couldn't you call on other ranches in the area for information on how to deal with these horses? It sounds like you are the one flipping the bill for her, maybe it's time to contact her family and have them deal with the situation.

a reply to: Gazrok
Oh boy! I feel you. I have been there and back, and back again. Whether it is children, friends, family, or acquaintances, there will always be the one that only see things from the view point that best benefits themselves. The world and everyone are the bad guys if they aren't getting what they want . These same people that expect everything to be handed to them, will not lift one finger, or assist a single person, but they expect these evil people to hand over their hard earnings to them and wants you to be grateful for letting them use you.

Reminded me of when I was told by a relative that I allowed to stay in my house after he lost his apartment, so he could get back on his feet and save for first month's rent and security deposit. The only thing he had to do was pay the electric bill. He had full access to the house including meals and laundry for over 30 days. When it came time for the electric bill to be paid, a whole $125.00, he didn't pay it. He said that he had to pay his bills first and that he wasn't going to be late on his bills because he paid "my" electric bill.

I too asked myself the question, "What is wrong with people?"

How's it work there? In the UK you'd need the courts to get her out which is costly and takes time.

It's boarding for her horses, not her. We have a boarding contract that clearly spells out the procedure. We typically give 30 days notice (and that doesn't absolve them of paying the board for that 30 days). We also apply any portion of the deposit paid, to the owed board.

If she doesn't come on or before day 30, I can call the Sheriff and Animal Welfare, and they'll move them for her, and find them homes.

I have been trying to give her the month of Jan to get her act together (and then assess if kicking her out), but she just gets worse and worse. Missed payment arrangements, missed times to come out and do care on the animals, etc. I just can't anymore. And won't.

One of her horses was in danger of going lame, she needed her hooves done that badly....so we took care of that in advance (not for her, but for the health of the horse). Oh, she (the horse) was so happy after that, running around, that was good to see.

She even needs help getting hay and feed out of the car, to put in the shed.

Really?

Then, she's upset when nobody is there to help her. We have a facebook chat group for all the boarders, to contact each other, if they need anything. She waits until 4pm to ask me if anyone's there. USE THE DAMN GROUP....and do it SOONER.

I mean, c'mon.... I then ask her, why didn't you come sooner when someone could help? She says, couldn't come until 4. SHE HAS NO JOB.... Just what the hell is so pressing?

Ugh...

a reply to: Gazrok

Glad you can vent. I know this is all irritating, but remember, these are first world problems. And fixing them will be relatively easy. You just have to write off some cash. I recommend looking for a really cold beer and punishing it by drinking it all. I always feel better after doing that. Have a better day brother.

Hehe, thanks for helping with the perspective.

Of course, these first world problems are bleeding over into some second world ones, like keeping the lights on, mortgage paid, etc. We try to have multiple streams of income though, and muddle through. Just that filling the stables with boarders was supposed to make life easier money wise...not harder....lol.

With 31,379,457 Stars, you must be well liked......

The stepson.... carry him on your back and he will never learn to walk. The horse lady, your a convenient buffer zone for her financially. She already Knows she can't afford them... she knows. but you will because she knows your compassionate.... Sucker...!! Say, how's about a loan ?


No, I'm not being snarky, I feel for you, but you'v got to put on your game face and be a bit brutal to both. It will only have to last for an hour each time at most. Your BEST Game face, with internal dialogue rehearsed for any contingency. You have to be a Villain, in their eyes, and do it successfully and make them both leave, lock stock and barrel, mail posts and ALL......ALL

Practice a bit, then get ready for confrontation and your ultimatum.... then VOICE IT.........................NO bending, stand firm... It's gonn'a be tough, just remember, it should only last a short while, probably minutes.

YOU GOTT'A DO IT....... put on your angriest game/war face.......... and good luck. You know what I say is true. And as Red Green (a Canadian comedy show) would say, "Were all in this together".

www.youtube.com...

Some old ladies are professionals at making people do things for them.

a reply to: Gazrok

I have gone through a situation almost identical to yours. Now having seen the light at the other end here is what I have to say.

Kids do not fully mature until they are around 25-30. Sure they look all adult like, with beards and fancy phones and all, but inside they are still like teenagers. Take a deep breath. They will eventually grow up and will see the error of their ways (some of them anyways) It is super frustrating to live with young adults, you love them, but it is awful at the same time. It's like, who is this person, they were once sweet little kids, now they are annoying adults.
Living on their own or with someone other than their parents is that absolute best thing for them. They will get it. Things cost money, it gets expensive to fix things over and over. Even little things, it is just painful that this all takes time.

Regarding both your son and the horse lady:

The very best piece of advice I can give you is that someone can only do to you what you allow them... remember that!

a reply to: Gazrok

I totally understand. I hope all goes smoother tomorrow. I feel like helping, so I'm going to find a beer and punish it for you.

originally posted by: Pandaram
Some old ladies are professionals at making people do things for them.

I would like to learn how to make people do things for me.I wonder if there
is a class I can take?

originally posted by: mamabeth

originally posted by: Pandaram
Some old ladies are professionals at making people do things for them.

I would like to learn how to make people do things for me.I wonder if there
is a class I can take?

Sorry Mamabeth. Some of us are so incorrigible that all the classes in the world won't allow us to be dependent leeches, or inconsiderate, ungrateful, con artists.