Girl Scouts warn parents about forcing kids to hug relatives for the holidays

If anyone has been doubting if we've hit Stupidity Critical Mass in the US yet, doubt no more.

Girl Scouts warn parents about forcing kids to hug relatives for the holidays

Girl Scouts of the USA issued a warning to parents this holiday season, asking them to think twice before forcing their daughters to hug relatives at gatherings.

“Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she ‘owes’ another person any type of physical affection when they have bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life,” reads the post on the Girl Scouts’ website.

Are you fooking kidding me? "Nyiah, be polite and give Great-Grandma G a big hug, it's Christmas morning" was a line I was fed in my early childhood. Great-Grandma G had early-onset Alzheimer's from her 30's onward, she was a very awkward person to be around at any given point in the year my entire life.
But being forced/strongly encouraged to give who I perceived to be a super-creepy old person who yelled at random inanimate objects and called people by innumerable wrong names did NOT make me feel obligated later in life to "owe" anyone else anything. It was simple manners, and I'm glad I was not taught to shun a medically & mentally frail person just because they were weird to me. IMO, the Girl Scouts' "advice" is self-sabotage. There's a huge difference between being cognizant of a legitimate fear your child has regarding a person, and simple ignorance-based fear. They're advocating making no distinctions and teaching no distinctions, and that's a massive cog in a kid's life wheel to skip teaching.

On the bright side, at least one psychiatrist is reminding people to use their noggins.

Dr. Janet Taylor, a psychiatrist based in New York City and Sarasota, Fla., said parents should be careful to not create "a mass hysteria about physical contact with loved ones," especially during the holiday season.

"As parents, we have to use common sense and also realize that it’s never too early to start a conversation about good touch and bad touch," said Taylor. "But also we don’t want to overstep our boundaries so our children are not afraid of who they should not be afraid of."

abcnews.go.com...

Bubble-wrapped childhoods, now endorsed by the Girl Scouts! So much for teaching life skills & independence.

originally posted by: Nyiah

...can set the stage for her questioning whether she ‘owes’ another person any type of physical affection when they have bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life...

Someone needs to explain to the Girl Scouts that this is exactly how it works later in life.

If I take you out for dinner and even let you order an appy to go with your din-din I better be getting huggy time later.

a reply to: Nyiah
Yeah, hugging is bad now.

We might just be screwed as a society at this point.... maybe not as a race, but our society seems to be on a whacky downward spiral.
IMHO.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

...can set the stage for her questioning whether she ‘owes’ another person any type of physical affection when they have bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life...

Someone needs to explain to the Girl Scouts that this is exactly how it works later in life.

If I take you out for dinner and even let you order an appy to go with your din-din I better be getting huggy time later.

The good kind of huggy time, or the "counting the bricks in Aug's basement walls" kind of huggy time? Inquiring minds need to know

a reply to: Nyiah

I starred and flagged this.

Gimme some sugar!

a reply to: Nyiah

Wow a swing and a miss. Sorry my daughter is still required to hug grandma. Things like this i see as an attempts to break family bonds there is no other explination

originally posted by: Nyiah

The good kind of huggy time, or the "counting the bricks in Aug's basement walls" kind of huggy time? Inquiring minds need to know

It always starts off as the former.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Gimme some sugar!

NO! You're insulin level is bad enough as it is.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Nyiah

I starred and flagged this.

Gimme some sugar!

Nice try, you're STILL on a diet. No Dixie bag for you.

originally posted by: dragonridr
a reply to: Nyiah

Wow a swing and a miss. Sorry my daughter is still required to hug grandma. Things like this i see as an attempts to break family bonds there is no other explination

Encouraging "I don't WANNA!" without a solid reason only bolsters self-centered attitudes. Self-centered attitudes put everyone else on the back burner, or off the stove entirely. The family bonds were never at the forefront of a self-centered person's mind, regardless of if it was just poor rearing or something more concrete such as textbook narcissism.

I'll sit here and firmly say that NOBODY has the right to demand physical contact from another person, especially if they're a child.
If a child, or anyone else, does not want another person putting their arms around them, then they have every right to not be touched.

When I was younger, my dad's mother used to visit (I refuse to call her my grandmother). She was a textbook version of a psychological/emotional abuser and she was hell-bent on trying to belittle me and make me feel inferior to her at every possible opportunity. Every time she came, I wanted nothing to do with her, much less for her to touch me, because I was intelligent enough to see right through her and understand what she was doing and what kind of person she was. My mother, however, was not, and she would always insist that I let my dad's mother hug me. Whenever I resisted, my mother would make a scene, call me rude and unwittingly make my dad's mother look like the victim, always to her very obvious pleasure. So of course I always had to stand there while this woman put her arms around me JUST BECAUSE SHE KNEW I DIDN'T WANT HER TO, which made me feel absolutely disgusted.
I'm not saying this for some kind of pity-party, I'm saying this to point out that just because a person is a relative does not mean that others have to want physical contact with them. In some cases, a person may very much NOT want any physical contact whatsoever with them.

STOP teaching children that it's ok for other people to touch them against their will.

originally posted by: butcherguy
a reply to: Nyiah
Yeah, hugging is bad now.

We might just be screwed as a society at this point.... maybe not as a race, but our society seems to be on a whacky downward spiral.
IMHO.

No, hugging is not bad. Expecting that you have the right to put your arms around another person when they don't want you touching them is.
You DO NOT have that right.

originally posted by: dragonridr
a reply to: Nyiah

Wow a swing and a miss. Sorry my daughter is still required to hug grandma. Things like this i see as an attempts to break family bonds there is no other explination

If I ever have a family of my own, I'd rather my children hugged me because they wanted to show affection to me than because I demanded that they did despite the fact that they hated my guts and found me revolting.

No one should be forced to hug anyone.
If there is genuine affection sure. If it's a relative you only ever see on holidays and have no relationship with and you don't want to hug them you shouldn't have to.
Women and girls need to know this. No one is allowed to touch you without your consent. No matter what special day it is.

We didn't have holidays that included strangers. My brother and sisters and cousins were all friends growing up. The aunts and uncles were people we saw all the time. Sunday's were on a constant rotation from aunts uncles and grandparents hosting dinner for the hugh crowd. There were over twenty grandchildren in my generation. I understand that's not everybody's experience.

My dad had one friend who always patted my ass when he hugged me when I was a young girl. When he tried when I was a teenager I pulled away and that was the last time I even got within arms reach of him. After that I'd just wave and say hello from a distance. But I never told him off or told my parents because I was never given permission to confront adults.

Predators know this about kids so teaching them that it's okay to tell on a grown up is very important.

originally posted by: trollz
When I was younger, my dad's mother used to visit (I refuse to call her my grandmother). She was a textbook version of a psychological/emotional abuser and she was hell-bent on trying to belittle me and make me feel inferior to her at every possible opportunity.

The key difference between you and a mannerless kid is that YOU had a damn good reason for the avoidance. "Aunt Mildred is weird & I don't want to hug her goodbye" is not one of them. If we don't teach kids how to interact despite initial misgivings, we end up with snowflakes who grow up into even bigger snowflakes. We already have enough of them, time to work on whittling the numbers down, not increasing them.

originally posted by: Nyiah
If we don't teach kids how to interact despite initial misgivings, we end up with snowflakes who grow up into even bigger snowflakes. We already have enough of them, time to work on whittling the numbers down, not increasing them.

They just need to be properly motivated to hug the relatives. I suggest they all get a trophy after each hug.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Nyiah
If we don't teach kids how to interact despite initial misgivings, we end up with snowflakes who grow up into even bigger snowflakes. We already have enough of them, time to work on whittling the numbers down, not increasing them.

They just need to be properly motivated to hug the relatives. I suggest they all get a trophy after each hug.

Pffft. It's just a trophy. Get the new iPhone as incentive and it might work.

I hugged some people the other day and all I heard was, "What are you doing in the women's bathroom, you pervert! Get out!"

Bunch of effing snowflakes!

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

It's clearly harassment (sarcasm)

But this is what happens to those who give hugs...

Disney, Pixar Animation executive John Lasseter to take a leave of absence, citing 'missteps'

I especially want to apologize to anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of an unwanted hug or any other gesture they felt crossed the line in any way, shape, or form. No matter how benign my intent, everyone has the right to set their own boundaries and have them respected," Lasseter wrote in the memo obtained by The Times.

But!
There are those relatives I don't want near my neices and nephews. They are ... creepy and known creeps..
Don't want them hugging the kids.

Also aunt Edna with the bad breath and jiggly under arms I don't want hugs from.

originally posted by: Nyiah
Get the new iPhone as incentive and it might work.

Good idea, I can use some spare parts to make an EyePhone.