It took seven Months... but I finally fell off the wagon.

I want to say thanks again to everyone.

This site, man...

Sometimes I'm left scratching my head, other times I have a face like thunder reading some posts...


But I'd still come here before I went anywhere else because like it or not...
We are a family.

A family of misfits, but family nonetheless.

I love it here.

Thanks for being a part of it all.

Forget about "It will be ok tomorrow" or "I did so well before" or "I was at bottom this afternoon"

Focus on where you are now.
Pick up the bottle, tip it down the sink.

Go to bed and get some sleep.
Then when you wake up go to a meeting, your doctor or your therapist. 9am.

No one is judging you , but you. Don't waste your energy judging, spend your energy on refocusing.

Go to the sink. Tip the bottle.

Much love zazz.

But...what about the beard?

originally posted by: Hazardous1408



We are a family.

A family of misfits, but family nonetheless.

Apart from my now-grown and living out-of-town kids, I have no family.

So I have taken an ever growing group of people from here and assembled my own family.
I now have sisters, brothers, a few weird uncles...and a lot of people who keep me believing in love.

All it takes sometimes, is for someone to care, or listen or commiserate...and the need to be numb disappears. (Plus the funny aunts and uncles are usually good for a laugh, and laughter is good!)

a reply to: zazzafrazz

I appreciate that advice, Zazz.

Stern, to the point... like a mother.


But in my current state when I think about pouring the bottle down the sink I just see money going down the drain.

That's silly I know, but I feel I'll have a better chance of not buying another rather than spilling it all out.
Pretty pathetic, I know.

I'll see how I feel when I'm halfway through.

originally posted by: Shamrock6
But...what about the beard?

Hehe.

I'm gonna put a photo in the members photo thread later I think.
You can see it in all it's ginger glory.

a reply to: tinner07

These measures are only to simplify and funnel what is obviously very complex about the human neurological functions.

I chose meditation, and never turned back... because I chose to cope with downers too. I was able to polish off bottles by the time I was 18 and 130 pounds... I knew I was in for the long haul if I did not funnel thoughts to a singular source. I took a long stint without any unnatural coping, found success in meditation, then applied my newfound coping strategy to the real world. Now, I can have a drink and will even have a rager of a night if old friends come around. But, the key to me gaining control of my own will power was to find a coping device that matches or outweighs the synthetic choices we make instead.

Each and every human has natural coping strategies that would fill our hearts with joy. It takes some effort and trying new things to find them, but I am 99% sure its in each of us as humans. We should not be asking our doctors whats right for us... we should be trusting in each other that the craziness we speak on conspiracy sites is more valid than any prescription of other sorts.

I agree... big deal that the OP drank. Maybe this is the test to show one self that they're going to show will power who is in control of what from here on out? I don't see a problem with going toe to toe with a foe. I just hope the natural beats the synthetic and that we all can funnel coping into healthier strategies.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

Did something happen in your life recently? Be objective. There are reasons for everything, and there are reasons for this

Don't smack yourself too hard. Unless that's what works for you. You're an excellent poster. You have a good mind, and a good heart. Obviously people here support you

Seven months was good. Next time - 12 months. Or longer

a reply to: Hazardous1408

Please do. I dare you, Jacy double dares you. You pretty much have to now.

Side note, to borrow a line from a great TV show: clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

You'll be all right, just start over again. Might as well jump back on the wagon again. falling of the wagon can be depressing, you can hurt yourself, maybe just quit drinking instead of climbing on a wagon. You can get run over by the wheel of the wagon too.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

It's up to you. Everything about this moment is in your control, not mine or anyone else's.

The money is a poor excuse to keep drinking.

You will feel much better about tipping it than drinking it. That I can guarantee.
One action will clean out your drain pipe, the other will burn your innards, then make you cry and self loathe in about 2 hours.

I am to the point like a stern mother, as negotiating with an addict never works out. Just saying.

xox

I'm an alcoholic.

It's tough to quit. I have for short amounts of time, but always relapse.
Guess I found a acceptable level of consumption , in my mind, that keeps me out of trouble.

I got away from the hard stuff, favorite was rum. Just drink beer every night. A set time when I start , the number I drink and how late I stay up. Seems to work for me for now. Thank god I have an understanding woman by myside . If I could I would rather be smoking something instead, but because of drug testing, that is hard to do.

Good luck brother !

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

Sorry to be off topic, but i have to say thanks to every poster, we do have different opinions on a lot, but to see how much love and understanding we all have for this man.

Good you pointed that out - I was thinking the same thing

originally posted by: Spiramirabilis
a reply to: Hazardous1408

Did something happen in your life recently? Be objective. There are reasons for everything, and there are reasons for this

Don't smack yourself too hard. Unless that's what works for you. You're an excellent poster. You have a good mind, and a good heart. Obviously people here support you

Seven months was good. Next time - 12 months. Or longer

Thanks for the kind words Spira, mate.

I can't think of anything recent that could have triggered this.
It feels more like I just gave up trying not to drink.

It may have been a subconscious thing.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

Life's a bitch. Sometimes we just get tired

Tomorrow is gonna suck :-)

See how you feel the day after that. You can do this

originally posted by: Shamrock6
a reply to: Hazardous1408

Please do. I dare you, Jacy double dares you. You pretty much have to now.

Side note, to borrow a line from a great TV show: clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Can't stand whiskey.

So Vodka it is.


Ask and ye shall receive!

a reply to: zazzafrazz

money is a poor excuse to keep drinking.

It is. But it's the only excuse I have.

then make you cry

I never cry lol.

I am to the point like a stern mother, as negotiating with an addict never works out. Just saying.

& I fully appreciate that Zazz. Tough love is my go to as well when dealing with people, so I understand where you're coming from.

a reply to: Groot

Don't let Uncle Sam control your relationship with Mary Jane now... that's letting the establishment win my friend.

If employers wish to stay leeching to the establishment and avoid hiring people that consume plants, than its that particular employers burden to behold by passing on employing pot smokers. I have no problems straight telling a possible employer that I consume marijuana... in the interview. No need to waste money on a test that I don't plan to pass.

We have to create the environments of which we feel comfortable. I'd probably resort back to a routine of heavy drinking too if I was foregoing my natural choices of coping to appease the financial growth of a business.

As an employer, I personally want to hire pot heads... its almost mandatory to work with me.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

No one never said it was going to be easy. For me it took many tries. Then something strange happened that is hard to explain and which I keep to myself in public. That was a little over 27 years ago when I got sober.But anyways there will be another fork in the road soon I trust you will take the right one. I wish you the best on your journey and if you ever need an ear look me up. Or anyone in this thread for that matter.

a reply to: Hazardous1408



Ummm...well...at least it was only a wagon...if you stumble fast enough in the right direction...you just might catch it...

We're here for you brother...none of that other stuff matters...we're all in this together...





YouSir