To my never-friend from the other side II

The 82th postcard and just the last time I will explain why you matter so much to me:

It still is the very first moment that keeps me hanging on. 59 to 1. You were so adorable and you melted down my brain the moment I smelled you. The moment you stood right in front of me. I was so confused I rambled something super complicated just to ask you, if you drink a Jägermeister with us. Total brain meltdown. Hormonal sure.
But do you even know why one gets so consumed by you? You are awesome. Edgy and all sure, bad boy potential, but smart, educated, nice, talented, funny, beautiful, and so much more. Charismatic.
Point is I could understand if you sold me to protect your career, but you sold love. Understanding is not the same as forgiving. Or forgetting.
Not friends. Never. Not now, not in the past, not in the future.

a reply to: Peeple

Maybe the person realized that finding happiness was the meaning of madness and not giving anyone a false sense of hope?

I believe you put your own hope in an illusion by predetermined thoughts, and a sense of meaning and purpose.. If i was you, and wanted to make a change for humanity i wouldnt put my own hopes in someone else, instead i would quote it like this;

Two friends was walking down the beach on a lovely sunset. As they were walking towards the end of the beach they saw thousands of Turtles hatching and running towards the ocean, flocks of Seagulls and other animals were having a feast on the newly hatched turtles.. It looked inhumane in our sense of worldview, but the same story happens every year and almost the exact date, who are we to judge, natures ever passing..

The friends watched the turtles making a haste run for the ocean..
Then one of them saw a turtle lying on his back, helpless.. He walked to the turtle and helped it on its feet, and saw it making it all the way to the ocean..
The other friend asked;" Why, it wont make a difference? " The friend who helped the turtle smiled and said;" It made a difference for him "

This is your boy speaking. If you want to talk to me, go ahead. You are already, right?

a reply to: Talorc

If you were, you would answer to part I

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: Talorc

If you were, you would answer to part I

I read it. You will only find me again when you acknowledge the universal reason governing all things, that there is order and meaning in nature; and by implication, that love is not selfish.

Until then I must remain aloof to you.

a reply to: Talorc

No. You want to teach me? None of you knows who I am. I am the universal reason governing all things.

Tell your builder buddies the time is ticking.
If someone teaches something it is me.

Bow minions.
I'll get my UFO fleet, army of angels whatever you want to call it. The dead will rise in my name. I don't discriminate between hell and heaven, but we'll work together to wipe out humanity and you will watch. Knowing it was you who could have prevented it. But you sold love.
Liar, Liar, earth on fire...

a reply to: Peeple

You can hardly imagine it. What sees equally through the glinting black eye of an ant, through the shining eyes of a child, through the wind as it bends blades of grass. From the alpine pass high above, from the sediment at the furthest ocean deeps. From the bloodlet field, from the house of wisdom. From the depths of space. From the furthest point in time.

You are a fledgling bud in the context of eternity, soon to bloom, soon to wither. An evanescent flicker, noted and soon forgotten.

I do not teach.

a reply to: Talorc

(Maybe I am going to far with this now, but we're in fiction, so)

My body hosts a soul that has seen all of it before. I watched this universe get born. I saw it end. You're bound by flesh, blood and time, but not me.
To betray me, is to betray god. To acknowledge the universal reason governing all things, is to acknowledge me. I am the Queen of the Milky way. I am love. I am the truth. I am humanities last hope. I can be a new beginning, I can be the end. Your choice.

I demand honesty.

a reply to: Peeple

Then maybe you can teach me. In fact, I wish you would.

I know so little of the world. I can only meet what I see with confusion and bafflement. Every day my experiences confirm this, and worse, my dreams lay it all bare before my eyes. I see the inexorable movement toward an obvious end for us, I discern the patterns in reality, but I am left dumbfounded as to its significance.

But I want to know. Every ounce of my will screams directive "you must figure this out."

If you are an alien goddess of unfathomable will, of infinite temporal extent, bound by no material or spatial laws that hamper mere humans, then do this: come to my dreams and ravish my mind, until I understand.

While you speak, I keep checking the screen as to how I fit in; are you the guys on the 12th floor Denver towers with ex wives and dope connections . My friends have all died on me but their lessons taught long ago the other world systems have all naturally changed. The point is we're waiting for this blessedness to be believed. I was going to describe myself but what ever keep talking, it makes the suburbs almost less...oh I don't know. I just walk from one end of this house to the other with nothing to say even if there was someone to talk to.

a reply to: Talorc

And again, no. Why would I? You don't answer my questions. Have to "stay aloof", until I "acknowledge the universal reason" which I do. I am. Let me whisper it in your ears and I will tell you everything. Let me touch you and we'll send tsunami waves of pure love throughout the world. They'll shiver and moan, some will scream with us and afterwards be as calm and happy as never before.
But you sold me to some bullies. Almost like a paradox.

Sad. So sad. What you wrote was beautiful though. Argh reality! You bitch, if you only were a dream. Because in my dreams you're a hero. In reality just a ball-less dick, a prostitute and a liar with no upper body strength.
Was it worth it? Does the status quo make you excited? That's what you are protecting: the ma'at.
I love chaos.
And it will come.

a reply to: Peeple

I'll answer your questions in time. Not yet. I admit that right now, I'm not strong enough to acknowledge everything.

The status quo does not excite me-- in fact, I'm an agent of change and uncertainty myself. Dissolution, transformation, and regeneration are essential to the good of the Whole, the health of this ailing organism we call human society.

Rest assured though that I have a plan, of sorts, and you haven't once left my thoughts. I think we both know what we have to do, and we'd better get to it. There isn't much time and life is short.

a reply to: Talorc

You're wrong, I absolutely don't know what I have to do. What is It?

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: Talorc

You're wrong, I absolutely don't know what I have to do. What is It?

It's pretty obvious and you should know it. What is anyone put here for, for what reason? Think about the simple fact of our shared condition, how utterly similar everyone is, how everyone has a simple heart.

You can do it in your own way, it doesn't have to be ostentatious or world-shaking. It can be subtle, like an acorn creating a ripple, that joins with a tide, that melds with a wave.

First see to your own needs, and when that's taken care of..... I know you know what's next.

a reply to: Talorc

That's a nice bunch of withered platitudes you pulled out of your heini. Not helpful. Absolutely and entirely not helpful.
Living just to survive?
Had that, done that. Also had good times, the best horse, the best dogs, the best cats, cool parties, holidays, fun... and I simply don't care anymore.
I was almost happy and then "this" happened. I lost my faith in everything. Love, humans, society, you name it. The only thing I am still somewhat interested in, is to find out the truth.
But nobody else seems to care as long as there are enough placebos, you know you're supposed to enjoy, but it's never quite as good as you expect it to be...
All I want is the truth.

I know I keep repeating myself, but you have to tell me what they told you, why we can't talk. Who "they" are, if you know? Because it is bigger than me, it could be important and it's some kind of test, but I can't solve it on my own. It is not up to me to do something I'm just the worm on this fishhook. Sadly nobody bites and I will drown.
Soon. Because it hurts and sucks so much I really can't take it anymore.

Besides "they" whoever it is you chose to obey, make it impossible. I was trying to get back on track. Weird sh1t happens, stuff gets disappeared, made impossible and I don't care enough to try anymore.

I guess at this point I really need to talk to them, because I think I know why it's all deceit. And those who serve the public should be interested. None of what's going on is normal.
We're being played, infected, exploited and eventually probably culled.

I'm not normal. What happened to me wasn't normal. People attack me out of the blue. And it's terrorfying because if I am the enemy, ... they sold us, plus the planet for glass beads.
Maybe not willingly, or knowingly, but to the "messengers of deception".
I am honest. I'm not and never was aggressive. I want the truth so people can know what to prepare themselves for. To protect them. To serve them.
And I am the enemy? I'm supposed to watch "it" happen? Buy shiny things and forget what's ahead? No.
I don't need things, I don't even need people, I don't need food, I don't need happiness, cars, attention, ...
I need somebody with f*cking balls to tell me the f*cking truth.
And I know you don't know, but you can give me kind of an adress.
Who told you not to talk to me? Because these are the ones I have to talk to.
And I let go even of you. You were my last bit of ego holding on to dreams of a better, simpler future. I accept this is not the time for that. I love you, you're the one thing I regret to have missed.
But it's okay. I need the truth.

It's hard not to get obsessive about something that could determine the future of the species and the planet.
So to them:
Help me helping you. I might be not entirely like you, but what do you see if you look at me? Born and raised earth. Human. Be honest. Only the truth can save us.

And to you: I don't know you. I love you. Maybe in another life, another time, I get to find out why you melt down my brain so much.

a reply to: Peeple

Do you like watching the Stars at night? I do, I find joy and serenity in it.. I think it was my 10th birthday, I wished for a telescope.. I didn't get one.. But I wished I had..

a reply to: Peeple

The key is under the Ma'at.

Mind is the chaos; selfishly smashing order into the perfectly round; dashing it into asteroid belts of jagged edges and cosmic debris... spirialing entropic seeds O' plenty; til warm enough to hatch & embrace the dance of the cosmic bloom. Getting close in orbit; all such fractured... slowly pull together; in collusion from long forgotten collisions & order strikes again.

The countless lights of many colors; rage on in fiery passion... always hungry; to devour those circling it's encampment. Unaware of the many shadows spirialing deep on doorsteps... Will they; each one a master of it's local system... Become the same dark spiral? Once all the local fueling it; has waned out of reach? Or pulsar Morse; as a both beacon & beckon... to harken to all it's sin, though the vastness of fleeting time, in persistence as long as there is memory... looking for something to absolve it?

Yet; still ignorantly... consuming in it's condensing; all that come near... "freeing" matter & energy from it's bondage as timeless as gravity itself, flickering ego-centricities... from all those willing to sacrifice for the cause? Fearing to be lost in the darkness...

Chaos and order the natural state; inseparable... in impermanence's rule of permanence.

When things get too close or things too far; still one... and the same as affinities go on to infinity.

If you've the energy... Who is there to mind it; If tis not oneself? Then tis; whom you seek... If not seeking? Then tis you being sought.

Avoiding the circle or circling the void; on such a grand scale, only happens at a distance that is no different than time... between one to another; leaving only that energy pregnant with something called: Potienial.

The meaning? Variable... or simply; yet to be defined.

Thanks for sharing the dance at a distance; I am also a bit too familiar with... when left in space as a muse; it is none to amusing... especially; when hearts come up flush, and wings of freedom are all a flutter.

No matter what game; the fate of past cause... stacks the deck of effect.