What is a...Family

What is family?

Is family the father, the father that never took care of you, the father that might have abused you in some way? The father that hates you because you might not think like him or he might think that you are not even his child. Is it the father ,that might treat his other kids out side the family better than you or treat your sisters or brother differently?

Is it the sister that might of took your man or just simply uses your things with out asking, or has stolen from you in the past…the sister that has gotten you n trouble repeatedly and has really brainwashed your parents into loving her more, stealing all the attention.

Is family the homeless brother or sister that ask you can they spend a couple of nights in the winter and 4 winters and 4 seasons later they are still with you, not paying rent or helping out. The brother, sister, or family members that show know gratitude what so ever for what you have done for them…as if its your born duty to do things for them.

Is family the mother that might have shown favoritism to a sibling that you know does not deserve it? The mother that did not hug you enough or care at the times that she was supposing to. The mother that might of did drugs or gave more money and time to their spouse more than you. Is family the mother that just simply hates you for no reason because of your father and what they had gone through in the past?

Is family the aunt that comes over to beg and ask for things ,the aunt that nobody likes in the family but you deal with her any way because she is family. The aunt that starts things with your family because she feels that she is better than you or better than your family, the one that looks down on every body in the family and is overly judgmental.

Is family the uncle that might of touched one of your kids inappropriately or went to far but he’s family so you decide to let it go even though he might of touched you first when young. Is family the mother that tells you to keep it a secret, or the father that has no conscious and tells you to keep it in the family?

Is family the family that has no loyalty what so ever, loyalty that family should always have for one another?

I never had family I just found my brother 3 years ago and I am still trying to find more of my family members. I have listened to so many of my friends situation and it makes me do not even want to meet the rest.



Am I wrong, can you relate?
Do you have family or the family above?

Just trying to figure out what is a family?

A family is some where you belong, you are safe and a place you want to be.

family is a con, it is what the participants make it. a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

I'd say, family is the people who you care about, and who care about you.

Anyone who will sacrifice their time and efforts to help you (and you would be willing to reciprocate it).

Not necessarily blood-related at all.

Some of my closest fam members aren't related to me, nor do they share the same beliefs as me. But we still love each other and are willing to go to battle for one another. That's how I would describe what "family" means to me anyway

I hope you find it for yourself

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

PS That's why my username is "FamCore"... because my definition of "FAM" is the core of all that I care about and stand for.

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

People say you don't choose family. I say that's bull.

My father was the most useless man that was ever born. I had to learn early, that if I wanted something out of connections with people, I would not be able to rely on only my family for those things. Ever since then, I have been about the business of finding family all over the place, everywhere I go.

Everywhere heavy metal is played, I have family. Everywhere someone is shouting about the evils of capitalism and advocating for the rights of the voiceless, I have family. Everywhere someone is lonely, in need of someone to hold them up, when they cannot stand for themselves, I have family. I am blessed, because I have assembled around myself some of the most wonderful individuals it has ever been my pleasure to meet in person. And I am lucky because here on this site, there are so many wonderful people who are a part of my life and I consider to be as much family as anything else.

Family is about unity. Wherever you find a common bond, there is a tie that can be stronger than blood, and that my dear, is family. That is what it is all about.

originally posted by: FamCore
a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

I'd say, family is the people who you care about, and who care about you.

Anyone who will sacrifice their time and efforts to help you (and you would be willing to reciprocate it).

Not necessarily blood-related at all.

Some of my closest fam members aren't related to me, nor do they share the same beliefs as me. But we still love each other and are willing to go to battle for one another. That's how I would describe what "family" means to me anyway

I hope you find it for yourself

EXACTLY.

originally posted by: imod02
A family is some where you belong, you are safe and a place you want to be.

So you feel safe around family,you must have a good family.

originally posted by: ancientthunder
family is a con, it is what the participants make it. a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

Can you go into details about 'Con'?

a reply to: FamCore

Would you consider your friends more family then your real family?

a reply to: TrueBrit

Everywhere heavy metal is played, I have family. Everywhere someone is shouting about the evils of capitalism and advocating for the rights of the voiceless, I have family. Everywhere someone is lonely, in need of someone to hold them up, when they cannot stand for themselves, I have family. I am blessed, because I have assembled around myself some of the most wonderful individuals it has ever been my pleasure to meet in person. And I am lucky because here on this site, there are so many wonderful people who are a part of my life and I consider to be as much family as anything else.

I can relate to this I have allot of friends who I consider family and I feel lucky some times but when Christmas and thanks giving comes I feel out of place because I have no facility to invite and I’m around other peoples family so it gets hard some times. Holidays that is.

We argue. We support each other. We drift apart. We get back together like we only saw each other yesterday. Bad things have happened. We've learned from each other. I'd be better of alone. I can't live without them.

To coin a phrase from the local chavs... Family is a head f@@k man.

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

Without a doubt! I have friends who are closer than any blood relatives.

My best friend (I actually call him big brother) is probably my closest family member and I've only known him for 4 years.. but he was there for me during some really difficult times and is one of the best role models I could have ever dreamt of.

Sometimes you have to open up a little and share what's going on in order to develop a closer relationship with people. That was what happened with me and my best friend. The world is a cold, cruel place, but there are some truly amazing human beings out there if you are willing to believe

a reply to: FamCore

but he was there for me during some really difficult times

Why was family not there for you if i might ask?

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

This year I will be going round to my buddies place at Christmas, where a whole gang of us are going to get blind drunk, eat too much, and luxuriate in the knowledge that we are with our family. We stand, we fight, we fall together. We eat, we drink, we laugh together. We will live, we will age, and we will die together. I never feel self concious around them, or their blood relations, because we are all in this together.

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

More reasons than one, it is a bit complicated to be honest. There was distance involved, both physically and emotionally, and feelings of resentment that either myself couldn't let go, or they couldn't let go.

I was also dealing with a substance abuse problem that almost ended me, and if you were to classify them, my family would be considered "conservative".

At the end of the day, sometimes blood-relatives are not the best family members (or the best support mechanisms)

originally posted by: FamCore
a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

More reasons than one, it is a bit complicated to be honest. There was distance involved, both physically and emotionally, and feelings of resentment that either myself couldn't let go, or they couldn't let go.

I was also dealing with a substance abuse problem that almost ended me, and if you were to classify them, my family would be considered "conservative".

At the end of the day, sometimes blood-relatives are not the best family members (or the best support mechanisms)

Thanks for sharing, glad you have friends that you consider family i'm also glad some one was there for you.

A con is a deception, the idea of family is a con because we have been sold a lie about what it is. Truebrit has made his own idea of what a family is for him, the way to go. a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

Its what you make out of what you have. Good or bad, blessed or cursed. Mine is a wife and little dog that loves me, and a mother in law that loves me just as much as her own son.....

Ive had deaths, suicides, cancer, back stabbings, desertions, divorces...you name it. But Im happy to have a wife and dog that loves me. Everyone else, mom, dad, brothers, sisters have all passed on...

Still? I consider myself truly blessed....every single day. Even when its a bad one.

Best to you my friend! MS

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527

You have listed a great many negatives.

I tell you this, people who match your dna can be all of those things OR none of those things. Often in between..

Family..

I would consider my family to be those who I genuinely care for AND I know they genuinely care for me..regardless of matching DNA..

Good luck finding your siblings! I know I got lucky, my blood parents are still married and I consider them not only family but my closest of friends.


Respectfully,
~ meathead