Why can't we be nicer?

a reply to: CranialSponge

I think you nailed it.

Some folk only social skills are borne from the likes of the facebook experience.

But try that style in real life, and you will have very few if any friends.

a reply to: Vector99

"Nice" is not a FEELING. It's a behaviour.

Behaviour can be chosen without bringing feelings or emotions into it. Your behaviour is not and doesn't have to be dictated by anything you might or might not be feeling. Feelings should be left out of human discourse for the most part, it doesn't serve anything.

Having said that, I think people should treat each other first with respect, understanding compassion, and only turn to some other side if they are treated without respect.

You are always 100% the master of your behaviour, regardless of what you are feeling. You can always treat others well, even if you are boiling with anger and hatred. Behaviour and your actions are separate from what you are feeling.

I do not recommend lying, though, but what I mean is, you don't have to punch someone in the face just because you hate them, you can still treat them like a human being.

'Nice' is also a bad behaviour to use on anyone. 'Mean' is not as manipulative, if it's honest.

I'd rather be slapped with the truth than hugged with a lie, if you see what I mean.

'Nice' is manipulative behaviour that has a goal in mind, it's not honest. Honesty is the greatest treasure we have, so I would like to always be treated with honesty. That doesn't mean saying things like 'kys' or whatnot, especially without provocation, but it also doesn't mean you have to lead on someone or gaslight them.

'Nice' is doing something for expected reward. Many 'nice guys' expect a 'sweet reward', and when that isn't coming, you see these people's true nature. 'Nice' is a vile thing to be, as it's a lie-based behaviour, just like 'politeness' is. 'Politeness' is basically behavioural programming that destroys the truth. It's behavioural lying, and I do not support it.

If people are to be strong, adult human beings, they HAVE to be able to take the truth, no matter what it is.

I don't really understand 'being mean', or 'insulting someone', because I don't have that kind of urge inside of me unless someone treats me like crap for no reason. I don't want to make someone feel bad, so I can't understand people who clearly have THAT as their goal when they wake up. It's shocking to me, how vile people can be.

All you have to do is go to some popular games and try to innocently chat there - you will be shut down with so many vile insults, you might be throwing up for days, unless you are used to it. League of Legends is one game that springs to mind, they will instantly accuse you of all kinds of things amidst all the other insulting stuff they say. It's remarkable how easily people say this kind of things to someone they don't even know at all.

You don't have to be an 'ass' ever. You can be confident, strict, draw the line. You can be calm and assertive, refuse to be a people-pleaser, refuse to bend over, and still have a professional demeanor. Proper authority doesn't need to yell or be aggressive, they can make everyone listen with just a whisper.

If you have inner strength, you can get your point across ALWAYS.