The Truth About Mating

Quoting from the video below (starting about 3 minutes and 20 seconds in):

In this culture, we have this rule that the female is supposed to be the trophy, be attractive, and that the males is supposed to aggress. He's supposed to be the one to make the moves, to woo, and, you know, kind of penetrate the end zone so to speak. It's all big kind of football metaphor with the female as the trophy. It's a nice theory.

And, we human beings, what's interesting about us is that we love a logical model, we love a logical paradigm, a script by which to live. We love it so much that very often as long as it seems to provide a structure, we don't even bother to pay attention to whether or not it's what we naturally are drawn to do anyway. OK, we tend to devise systems irrespective and completely oblivious to what nature seems to be compelling in us. What I mean by that is the following, I've just described the kind of things we're all kind of indoctrinated with in terms of how to proceed with mating.

Now, there's an interesting movie, it's called The Tao of Steve...In the movie [Steve] basically talks about, he's this sort of character, this kind of an Eastern, Buddhist-inspired kind of lazy kind of fellow...He's amazingly successful with women. Amazingly successful, and nobody can understand it. The movie is brilliant, brilliant dialogue. What he ends up telling this one guy who wants to know his "secret", he says, "Look; you've just got to be excellent." He calls this the "Tao of Steve" because he says there's an archetype of guys, we see them like Steve Austin or Steve McQueen or so and so forth. There is a quality of these guys named Steve, it's a kind of "Steveness."

And, they never chase the female, they are just ostentatiously self-absorbed in some form of excellence. OK. And, they are the trophy. The males are the trophy. These "Steves" are the trophy that the females then pursue. And, I hate to tell you something folks, but that is the natural order of things...If you ignore what we're told is the truth about how males and females should come together, and, if you just look at what's actually going on, you will notice, that when males and females are coupling up, successfully, it's because the male initiated nothing and was merely being himself, at whatever his personal best is in whatever realm his personal best is. And, the female sat and watched for a while and initiated everything. And, his job was to do nothing but just oblige.

If I had a son, I would teach them the above as soon they reached dating age. How the above isn't knowledge passed from generation to generation just shows me how clueless the human race is.

On a personal note, I suffered from low self-esteem until about my mid-twenties. I felt like a worthless person deep down (probably due to childhood trauma). So, even when females would ask me out, I almost always declined. I didn't see why they would like me. However, if I would have understood the concepts above, I would have had a framework to understand what was happening. Those females saw something in me that I couldn't see. There was no way that I could have seen things through their eyes. But, at that time, I had no conception of how that could work. When I think about some of them who tried to get my attention and/or asked me out, they were some of the best females that I've ever known.


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This is utter BS. The reason why things work because
a) The guy has money.
b) Women has been beyond corrupt with media(such as date movies).
c) There is no going back for West. You are trapped in a never ending so called dating system.
d) Things will get worst next gen. With all the Bieber fans.

a reply to: Profusion

It's true. I'm actually super poor and I mean dirt poor, but I have sense of self importance because I backcountry ski in very rough areas. It makes me feel like I am more of a man and have more courage than others around me. Also, I don't really care about giving women attention. I'm against it. They should give it to me because I find that women depend on men to make them laugh and feel important. That feeling of importance doesn't come from being chased by a man, but from acquiring a man they can show off to their friends which increases their social status. As long as he feels important to himself then she will cling to that and feed off of it. That's the real power of being a man, having that sense of superior. Apply that sense of superiority to your peers and you can have anything you want.

Double post

originally posted by: BrokedownChevy
a reply to: Profusion

It's true. I'm actually super poor and I mean dirt poor, but I have sense of self importance because I backcountry ski in very rough areas. It makes me feel like I am more of a man and have more courage than others around me. Also, I don't really care about giving women attention. I'm against it. They should give it to me because I find that women depend on men to make them laugh and feel important. That feeling of importance doesn't come from being chased by a man, but from acquiring a man they can show off to their friends which increases their social status. As long as he feels important to himself then she will cling to that and feed off of it. That's the real power of being a man, having that sense of superior. Apply that sense of superiority to your peers and you can have anything you want.

I am so lucky because my current girlfriend doesn't seem to care about anything you just mentioned. She frequently says, "You make me happy" and that's all she seems to care about. Granted, there are about a thousand little details that go into making her happy. And, if one thing is slightly off she can go berserk and say horrific things at any time.

But, she's a dream because she doesn't care about most things women get hung up on and she's really cool 99% of the time. I have to do my part which is normal.

She approached me first about a "date" kind of thing before I asked her out. Otherwise, nothing would have happened. I would never approach a woman out of the blue again after seeing the truth.

The following is from the comment section for the video in the original post:

On point. Most guys are totally clueless to the fact that aggressively chasing and pursuing another human being is actually innately feminine and submissive which is why women become quickly turned off when guys start acting like this. Fantastic video.

Society teaches men to aggressively chase and pursue another human. It really isn't manly.

And, to the poster who wrote that the theory explained in the original post only applies to the West, that isn't true. It applies in almost the entire world. The only places I know of where it doesn't apply are some Muslim countries.

OMG. If anyone starts using the terms beta, incel or Chad - I will jump through this computer. lol!

a reply to: Profusion

so whats the point in it really? i did the whole mating thing got 2 kids and the ex ran off. i see no reason to do it again i like being alone and i think it would be a waste of energy if i did find someone else besides i dont like being around other people any way

originally posted by: kosmicjack
OMG. If anyone starts using the terms beta, incel or Chad - I will jump through this computer.

lol!

lmao i dont feel like that but you had me laughing

I don't know if there is any way mating rituals "should" happen with humans.

I perceive in the media, and in the worldview of young men that I have discussed this with on the internet, this view that men have to sort of chase and try to conquer trophy females. I have heard of women who believe this too.

It is a bit strange, because I grew up with a different view. I don't know if it was the times, the place, or the specific family I was from....but I thought women had to strive to attract and "get" a man. The idea was somehow given to me that men were hard to gain, and hard to keep. That you had to put lots of effort into it, and could never rest on your laurels- stop trying for a moment, he'll be gone, to other women who are putting in the effort.

My mother had some self esteem issues, her dad was cruel and cold with her mom, that may have been where this came from. But I never saw men as the ones that would be buying flowers or trying to impress a woman.

Well, whatever. I can look back now and see that because I saw it this way, I didn't pay any attention to the guys that were trying real hard for me. I just didn't acknowledge them. They were doing something "not as it should be".
I was on the look out for the guy I could do this expected wooing with... and actually, I had a hard time finding one! They were all too easy. (that should have been a hint that I had it all wrong).

Actually, perhaps that is why I eventually fell for a foreigner. He says he was in love at first sight, but our problems communicating clearly made both of us never quite sure of the other, and often even missing the attempts to impress each other. Like he got a car he thought would impress me, I thought it was such a piece of crap, I was actually only impressed that he didn't give a frick what I thought.

It could be thought that the whole thing gets down to- playing hard to get can be done by either sex, and has the effect of attracting the other.

But I have seen some people do it and it doesn't work for them. I know very closely a male that is a raging narcissist, and truly thinks he is gods gift to this world, not making any effort to impress or seduce women... and he has no women chasing him. At all. 30 years old, not bad looking, and he's had one girlfriend his whole life, many years ago.

I suspect that some real attractiveness (either physical or intellectual), some real skills, knowledge or experience, has to be present for the "Steveness" to take effect.

originally posted by: kosmicjack
OMG. If anyone starts using the terms beta, incel or Chad - I will jump through this computer.

lol!

Hilarious comment!

I've seen so many women who are obsessed with the "alpha male", "beta male", etc. concept. But, I believe the vast majority of women who claim to want an "alpha male" are lying or are very confused.

I believe around 95% of women want to be the alpha in any romantic relationship. However, any genuine alpha male would not allow that to happen. So, almost all women who say that they want an "alpha male" don't really want one. They want someone who will be a "beta male" to them. No genuine alpha male would do that. A genuine alpha male would die of loneliness before they would be beta to a female IMHO.

originally posted by: malevolent
a reply to: Profusion

so whats the point in it really? i did the whole mating thing got 2 kids and the ex ran off. i see no reason to do it again i like being alone and i think it would be a waste of energy if i did find someone else besides i dont like being around other people any way

The point for me is not to be lonely and to try to maximize my happiness. I'll tell you one thing, I thank goodness that I'm in a long-distance relationship because I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be with me every day. She's way too demanding although she's a blast to be around. When I wrote that she's a dream, I really mean it. I could hardly imagine anyone better than her including her looks.

If relationships don't work for you, I see no reason to go down that road at all.

originally posted by: Bluesma
I suspect that some real attractiveness (either physical or intellectual), some real skills, knowledge or experience, has to be present for the "Steveness" to take effect.

Most likely, yes. I think the following video about Briffault's Law goes into a lot of detail about what you're getting at. As the author of the video points out, the benefit a woman can receive from a relationship with a man can be anything whatsoever. Quoting the video (starting at 14:53):

Much more dangerous it is for men who perhaps are not wealthy or at least hide their wealth because the female will be looking for something else. And, it really can range from anything. It could be the cool pictures you draw, your writings, your servitude, the slavish attention you lavish on her, maybe you're an amazing cook...

That's my experience as well. My ex-wife used to tell me quite frequently, "You're the cutest man I've ever seen." That seemed to create a halo effect of some kind. The halo effect is a big deal when it comes to this topic.


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originally posted by: kosmicjack
OMG. If anyone starts using the terms beta, incel or Chad - I will jump through this computer.

lol!

I have heard "beta" before, and found "incel" with Google, but Chad remains a country in Africa, from all I can find..??
My curiosity is piqued....

originally posted by: Profusion
I've seen so many women who are obsessed with the "alpha male", "beta male", etc. concept. But, I believe the vast majority of women who claim to want an "alpha male" are lying or are very confused.

I believe around 95% of women want to be the alpha in any romantic relationship. However, any genuine alpha male would not allow that to happen. So, almost all women who say that they want an "alpha male" don't really want one. They want someone who will be a "beta male" to them. No genuine alpha male would do that. A genuine alpha male would die of loneliness before they would be beta to a female IMHO.

The attitude I described above tends to kill relationships between men and women (even among friends and family in my experience).

The successful relationships I've had with women were where the power in the relationship was shared 50%/50%, more or less. I would never accept anything less (for long).

I understand why women want to control the relationship, they're more tied to any potential children (biologically speaking).

However, I'm so glad I started this thread because just typing out the quote above was like a slap in the face.

I once started some threads on that topic at GLP but I can't access them anymore because I won't accept their contract.

I'm pretty sure I just found one of them in Google, ""Alpha Males"...Let's review this bull# concept."

The good old days...

Gross.

Dude, if this is you OP I suggest you delete it.

It's creepy and weird and gross. It's hard to take a young man seriously when there is a folding chair in the background and the stench of virginity makes it hard to type.

Get a haircut, start wearing normal people clothes, stop thinking you're smarter than everyone else, shave that faggotry off of your chin, and don't ever pretend you're an authority on anything about mating.

Delete the video. It's not going to end well.

Am I getting trolled?

I feel like I'm getting trolled. No way there is a guy this weird.

originally posted by: Profusion

I understand why women want to control the relationship, they're more tied to any potential children (biologically speaking).

I agree that women often go on about wanting "alpha" males but don't seem to really want that (in the US at least, I don't know elsewhere. It is not a common term where I am except in regards to animals).

I have a few friends I am close with who continually complain about their mates lack of being assertive or powerful, and couple of them have been through a few relationships, each time thinking this one is the guy who will take charge over me...

But what both me and my husband witness (we talk and it confirms it isn't my imagination) that these women refuse to let the men assert themselves and their power. They're ball breakers, and they take control aggressively, all the while hoping he'll rise to the challenge and overcome her against her will.

I have one friend who went from one nice husband, up to men who were progressively bigger a-holes in search of that.
Actually, I don't spend much time with her anymore, because I have no patience with her control freak behavior and now she's run out of male suitors so she has too much time on her hands.

But.. oh yeah.. the reason I wanted to reply this was to add my perception of why so many women give off that self contradictory narrative and action. It is not that they like having the power, it is that they are afraid to give it up.

It is a trust issue. Trusting another is difficult for anyone. Trusting their judgement, their skills, their values and ethics... it is scary and stirs up survival instincts, and cause them to take one step back for every step forward.


IF there is a spiritual path of evolution, like things a soul wants to learn in experiences on earth,
and trusting another is one of them,
then it would make sense that there exists roles here like dominant and submissive, for us to use for that.
We might even (as souls) want there to be places on earth where the gender of the container you come in is automatically forced into a submissive role, so that you can't run out on it when you get scared (being in your spiritual amnesia state, not remembering you wanted to do that).

But I don't know if that is the case. It is just a musing, that was born from my experience going to a foriegn country where I could not communicate, like the Little Mermaid, and was forced to trust my husband as I have never trusted anyone in my life. It was horribly scary, but I learned something wonderful from it!

originally posted by: Domo1
Gross.

Dude, if this is you OP I suggest you delete it.

This is the second time in a week that someone on this forum has suggested that I was a certain YouTuber. How can one make those kinds of leaps in logic?

Anyway, TheLogicJunkie is a respected YouTuber for good reason. He's called "TheLogicJunkie" and he's talking about philosophy and you just want to discuss his looks and other superficial things?

What an ad hominem; one of the worst I've ever seen. Decorum violation?

originally posted by: Bluesma
But.. oh yeah.. the reason I wanted to reply this was to add my perception of why so many women give off that self contradictory narrative and action. It is not that they like having the power, it is that they are afraid to give it up.

In the following song, Britney Spears isn't just celebrating exerting her power, she obviously loves the thought of every detail.

I'm like the ringleader
I call the shots (call the shots)
I'm like a firecracker
I make it hot
When I put on a show

It's obvious to me from the context of the song that when she says "put on a show", she's talking about her whole life (that's my interpretation at least). And, that's how I believe most women are.

Britney Spears - Circus (Lyrics)


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Shania Twain - Any man of mine (lyrics)

EVERY WORD of this song points to total domination of the mate. You don't think Shania Twain is loving every second of it? Just listen to the words. How could anyone come away from listening to this song thinking that the power play mentioned is just done out of fear. The song glorifies and celebrates a woman having complete domination over a man.


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Shania Twain - That Don't Impress Me Much Lyrics

This is another song that's an absolute celebration of a woman's power over a man. These types of women all seem to love their power. What shallow, egotistical megalomaniac wouldn't?


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I'm sure I could go on with examples but I think that's enough evidence to support my case. These women love their power over men. They revel in it and celebrate it. I see no signs that your theory about them keeping their power out of fear is true.

a reply to: Bluesma

As far as I'm aware Chad's just the go-to name to describe your typical narcissistic dudebro douchebag.

originally posted by: Bluesma
But.. oh yeah.. the reason I wanted to reply this was to add my perception of why so many women give off that self contradictory narrative and action. It is not that they like having the power, it is that they are afraid to give it up.

I thought of some more songs that seem to be evidence against the claim above.

Katy Perry - If You Can Afford Me

I don't know how anyone can listen to this one and not think that Katy Perry loves her power over men. I have to admit, if I had this kind of power at my fingertips, it would be seductive. But, I probably wouldn't use it because it seems to be ultimately counterproductive and morally wrong. However, if I were a woman, it may seem different.


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Avril Lavigne - What The Hell

Let's not forget the main question: Do these women revel in their power over men? I don't know how anyone could listen to this song and not think Lavigne isn't reveling in her power over men.


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Taylor Swift - Blank Space

This is the best example of a woman loving her total domination of her male lovers. I find this one to be scary. (Whereas I find the other five examples to be cute).


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