Love and Sex are not the same thing.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: markosity1973
That is why there has been a push to 'normalise' relationships - so we can put the two back together again and be complete like everyone else.

I would argue that 'normal' is whatever you and the other party involved mutually agree upon.

Agreed, but unless you are gay and have experienced what i mean it is hard to verbalise. Just be glad that you don't understand fully

a reply to: markosity1973

I am a lesbian trapped in a dudes body.

a reply to: IvyNeptune

As far as Im concerned Sex and Love are two separate things
Im not saying that sex cant be or isn't better when love is involved. Im also not saying that love has to be involved for sex to be good either.

Sex has always been (for me at least) a physical expression/extension of what you feel emotionally for someone else. Sure you can have sex with someone you don't love, and it still be ok sex, but great sex with someone you love and care about is a bonding feeling like nothing else in the world.

There are many times in history where its shown that Marriage was often treated more like a business deal. Often love was no involved at all. Not that I agree with this for myself, but these kinds of things definitely still go on today.

Or rather, Love was not involved at first. I've known many people who met their spouse the day they got married and have never even seen each other before that. Love is not something that happens at first sight except in the movies and TV. Over time, life will kick you both in the ass, and its those kicks in the ass and hard times that make you stronger as a couple. I see so many couples that split up as soon as they hit a rough patch, never realizing that those rough patches are what make you stronger together when you get through them together. And don't get me wrong, loving someone does'nt mean you will always see eye to eye or never have any conflict. That is a totally unrealistic assumption. I've been married for 15 years and I love my wife dearly but there has been times where I've wanted to set her on fire. And I am sure the feeling has been mutual at some point over the years.

I also don't believe that people seeing sex for what it is, is the sole reason there is some kind of collapse in humanity.
Id be much more likely to blame greed, corruption, money, lack of education and religion for the state of affairs. I do not think people having casual sex really contributes much to this.

Do you think that easy access to free graphic pornography online influences young peoples views on sex and intimacy when they see people doing that and think thats what sex/love is? Do you think these views influence their sexual relationships as healthy or unhealthy? I know back in my day porn was not so easy at all, and it was pretty much just boobs and butt pictures. You had to go to the dirty magazine rack at the gas station and try and sneak a nudie magazine in there with the comic books and then take it home and hide it in the shame drawer next to your socks. And god forbid mom puts your clothes away and finds it.....

Now I'm not saying that magazine porn made me more monogamous a person, I'm just saying I know me, and I know I would grow up with a totally different view on sex the first time I saw a chick having graphic sex with three or four clowns at once...not to mention some of the not so tame stuff as that.

One of the other poster said that love is a hard thing to define, but it really isn't. It means that you care more for anothers mental and physical and emotional well being over your own. Pretty simple really but people always seem to complicate things unnecessarily.

I love sex. How can you separate that.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: markosity1973

I am a lesbian trapped in a dudes body.

Expanding your territory. Great move there.

originally posted by: rickymouse
Expanding your territory. Great move there.

That line usually garners me free drinks. I have to lick them off my shirt but beggars cannot be choosers.

It is certainly possible to have sex without love...
AND
It also certainly goes for love without sex...

BUT

To have sex with love...
AND
To have love with sex .... IS MIND BLOWING.

Whatever floats your personal boat!!!!

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

OMG!
One of my old man's favorite sayings!! Where'd you all get that from?
Also, he says one like "I like to get in touch with my feminine side but, when I do I get in trouble" or something to that effect...
Half listening LOL!

a reply to: IvyNeptune

Definitely not the same thing
Nice thread Ivy

There are so many different types of love.
If the thought of sex popped up every time we were thinking of how much we love someone/something, wow, disturbing.......

I think a little romance, great chemistry and much selflessness lead to far greater sexual partnerships. Lust is quite opposite.

I think most people would agree with you, OP.
It sounds like you were debating with religious people though (?)


I tend to think sex is an act, love is a feeling.
Certain acts are culturally determined to be an expression of love feeling, that varies. Sex is not universally seen as an expression of love.

What is even more interesting is that I've seen different cultures have varying concepts on the feeling of love and just what counts as "love".
Our protestant roots and ethics characterize it as a sort of intense focus and attachment upon one person that lasts for a lifetime, leaving one unable to love anyone else.
I noticed that in France, there is an idea of love as being something much less concrete - it is not only beyond our control (emotions being seen as something entirely more powerful then intellect and conscious choice), but it can be of any duration or intensity - you can be in love for one night, for two weeks, five months, five years, or thirty years!
When it ceases to be, that's it - you have no choice in the matter.
You go to your spouse and shrug - I am no longer amoureuse.
Then you two can figure out what you want to do (separate, continue the living arrangements as friends, whatever..)

But in this view, one can be in love with many at a time, and feeling strongly attracted and affectionate with someone one night IS being in love that night. It just might be over tomorrow. Such is the mystery of love... c'est la vie!


Personally, though I have no ethical or moral objection concerning sex, I just don't seem to feel any desire to have sex without love. It just seems so bland... it's not worth it! It's like eating sugar by itself; sugar is very good incorporated with other ingredients, but all alone it is not even good.
But even that, some people like to crunch on sugar cubes... to each his own!

Though I hold no stupid concept of sex and love being the same thing, that doesn't make me sleep around or lack fidelity.
That's stupid. What you are going to do, you are going to do....if you feel guilty about it, then all that does if give others something to use in manipulating you.

Different for everyone I suppose, I know for me and from my encounters, sex when love was involved became a very different experience, it was on another level completely, and that is the sex I will always want above all! but True brit put it the best I think, regular sex excluding love is just like masturbation, that doesn't mean to say it's bad, it's not, it's great! but sex with love, it's something else!

As for me, sex and love should combine into harmonious relationship. It`s like a very special and very delicious cocktail.

I've been married for 15 years and I love my wife dearly but there has been times where I've wanted to set her on fire. And I am sure the feeling has been mutual at some point over the years. 

Nonspecific is the only bloke I've ever wanted to throw plates at and push down the stairs.

I agree with the OP they are 2 separate things, that satisfy 2 separate areas of life, however when they come together... my oh my!

But you have to be equally matched in libido or disatisfaction will set in , and that may lead to issues.

I often fantasise about other men, this is my sassy sexy naughty secretary-esque side of my personality, the second thought comes in my head, will the bloke still find me attractive in my donkey onesie, complete with ears and tail, when I am curled up on the sofa telling him to put kettle on? No. That side is the love I share with NS and our bond. And through this comfy no make up side of life he still finds me sexy. That is love.Lasting & real life.

originally posted by: KatoriN
It`s like a very special and very delicious cocktail.

Like and Old Fashioned? Or a Dirty Martini?

originally posted by: MrsNonSpecific

...will the bloke still find me attractive in my donkey onesie...

If it is the right guy he will....

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

exactly. And NS is he. *Fingers crossed*