Why do we really Lie?

There are, seemingly, a myriad of reasons to explain why we tell lies. Big lies, small lies and white lies are told for reasons such as — to prevent rivals from succeeding; to prevent hurting somebody else; to gain some sort of advantage; to test somebody's loyalty; to impress others; to protect the lives of others or yourself etc.. But what do all these reasons have in common? What is the main objective when deciding to be untruthful, deceptive or deceitful? I believe the chief reason behind lying has to do with fear of truth; we are so afraid of reality that we suppress truth and express lies.

Even take an example of the simplest, most innocent of lies. Let's say your significant other asks if you think they have put on weight over the winter. You say "no, of course not" (when you acknowledge in your mind that they have). Why did you tell that lie? Was it simply to avoid hurting the other person's feelings? Or a potential fight that you are not in the mood for? No, I'd say it's more likely that you don't want to face the fact that you need to tell your partner something they don't want to hear.

Telling somebody something they don't want to hear is likely to elicit animosity and tension between you two, which means you are less likely to receive favours, support or sympathy from them — at least temporarily. Since most of us are programmed to desire acceptance and to be looked upon favourably by others, telling the truth can be a grave danger to maintaining these desires.

Or take a more sophisticated lie, like if you are testing somebody's allegiance or loyalty to you by making up a fictional scenario and seeing whether they will stick by you. This too is an example of suppressing truth (uncertainty about somebody's loyalty) and disguising it as an appeal to loyalty. The fact that they might not be so loyal given the fictional scenario is painful to contemplate.

I realise that human psychology is an extremely complex field and that my above views might be somewhat narrow in scope. Nevertheless, when it comes to telling lies, the avoidance of truth (whether that be in the short-term of the long-term) always seems to be the cause.

That's why I don't trust anyone.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Why do children lie? A lie is a defensive survival tool. The other side of the coin, we are suppose to use our large brains for discernment.

Nevertheless, when it comes to telling lies, the avoidance of truth (whether that be in the short-term of the long-term) always seems to be the cause.

a reply to: Dark Ghost


Well yes of course but that is simply the defining factor of what makes a lie a lie.


Why we lie differs a lot from peron to person. I myself do not avoid peoples feelings to much when i am asked if they look fat in a certain piece of clothing. My reasoning for that is that i feel i am being more helpfull to them by telling them the truth so that they can change their apearance which they seem to deem so important in that particular instance and wont be in any danger of any surprise comment later that day because of my lie.

But , i do also adjust this behaviour based on the situation or mental state of the person i may or may not lie to like in the examle i just gave.

Different views and situations make up different reason to lie about something. In my opinion the reasons why we lie are way to dynamic to explain in one reasoning.

originally posted by: MOMof3
Why do children lie? A lie is a defensive survival tool. The other side of the coin, we are suppose to use our large brains for discernment.

Children lie because they fear truth as well.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

How do children know what truth is when their life is just beginning? I have observed children for a long time. I had a daycare with birth to 5 and three of my own.

Its a test where every spirit gets tested everyday by a evil djinn, on whether they are going to withhold the truth from those around them.

All world politicians fail at this simple test with every word they speak. Then out of shear ignorance they are baffled why Yahweh sends them to hell in reference to his Book of Lies (Bible) with Revelation 21:8.

People don't realise they are walking into a population control trap where all liars are soon going to be wiped out of existence. And the Djinn laugh at humans every day.

a reply to: Rapha

It the politician wanting to keep his/her job. Survival. It is up the voters to be discerning and see the lies. Which is why there is a war against education now by said politicians.

originally posted by: Dark Ghost

originally posted by: MOMof3
Why do children lie? A lie is a defensive survival tool. The other side of the coin, we are suppose to use our large brains for discernment.

Children lie because they fear truth as well.

No, because their parents lie and children are like, well i want to be and do the same as mommy and daddy

a reply to: Dark Ghost

It depends on the person. There is no one simple explanation.

Some people are pathological liars, which can be indicative of other personality issues, a mere symptom rather than a disease in and of itself. Some people lie because the truth has presented obstacles to their survival enough times, that lying is deemed preferable to the threat posed by the truth. Some people lie because social convention demands a response to stimuli, which goes against their feelings or natural response, and rather than go against the grain, they will go along with a thing or convention, even when they do not necessarily agree with it, or a particular effect of it.

Others may lie because they seek a defined advantage by so doing, a calculated deception in order to achieve a particular beneficial affect. Others lie professionally, actors, politicians, lawyers, and so on.

Personally, my preference is brutal honesty. I have never been a fantastically popular fellow, and so certain social conventions are irrelevant to me in their entirety. If your arse looks terrible in those jeans, I am going to tell you that the jeans are fine, but that you might want to take those inflatable paddling pools out of them before leaving the house. If you ask me what I am qualified in on paper, I will tell you that I am qualified in next to sod all, but that being a nerd can account for an awful lot of missing paper. If you ask me what I think of nationalist groups, I will tell you that as a nod of respect to my ancestors, I would like to pin the whole sorry lot of them to a flag pole, and let them rot in the sun.

Zero BS. Why? Because I do not fear the truth. If I suffer because of it, then so be it. I do not fear suffering, I do not fear pain, I do not fear anything that can issue as a result of the truth. I would prefer too much truth, than too little of it, and dislike the grey space between intensely.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I believe the chief reason behind lying has to do with fear of truth;

I once or maybe twice told a lie to get to the truth of the matter .I have told other lies for such reason as you have mentioned but creating a lie to expose a dirty rat is a very valuable tool .

a reply to: Rapha

Its a test where every spirit gets tested everyday by a evil djinn, on whether they are going to withhold the truth from those around them.

What makes you think that we are, in any way, obligated to tell the truth?

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: Dark Ghost

Others lie professionally, actors, politicians, lawyers, and so on.

and those people should be examples of a good and well build society, humanity is looking up to those people.

Lying is a standard these days, truth is rather something weird

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Just like violence, lying can be used as a tool to achieve an end result. The motivation behind why is probably just survival based. You lie to preserve something you need, to gain something you want, to advantage, to disadvantage, we even lie to protect others (with vindictive AND victimless lies, depending on the need at the time).

Lying is pretty much essential to fit in, in a society that demands conformity, after all - we certainly aren't all as similar as they would have us believe (as most people realize when they grow older and inevitably wonder what a 'normal' person is).

Edit: Looks like I'm late to the party and most of what I've said has already been said in other ways lol.

As soon as we leave our Home and walk out the Door we become a Persona of our Self.
When the Persona is pushed hard, like when you're at a Job interview or in a Nightclub, the Persona will then create any environment that it thinks will benefit him/her without any remorse... Because your one True Self is still at home and it's not their fault.

The more personas you have, the more disingenuous.

a reply to: Hex1an

The more personas you have, the more disingenuous.

Nonsense! Personas are tool of self expression. Self expression, and playing around with "self" is not inherently deceitful, in and of itself. I suppose one could claim that the human psyche is fractured, in that it needs to step outside of itself in order to observe itself, and make adjustments. Certainly, when "God(s)" took Eve from Adams rib, it didn't create a "new" being, but in fact fractured Adam, taking a piece of him outside of his inside for his personal use, a helpmate.

My little boy loves to make a little story into a big story to make friends laugh, attention etc.

When he was 5 one of the mums at school said to me "oh your David makes me laugh he was telling me the other day about all the naughty things your dog gets up to like eating your knickers off the washing line"!

She laughed even more when I turned round and said "What! We havent even got a dog!" lol.

He is 8 now but still comes out with some whoppers and I know instantly when he is doing it and whats more he knows I know he is lying and still carries on".

He never lies to me though if he has been in trouble at schóol etc or if he has done something wrong at home. At those times he is very truthful when it matters, so I dont mind the lies exaggerating etc.!a reply to: MOMof3

a reply to: Dark Ghost

To protect self image.

We want to present the best, acceptable, expected, norm, but fall short, we're only human.

Afraid to be failures we puff up, tell fibs, build a case against our own fallibility.

Its okay to not measure up… try it. Say, I'm sorry, and don't make excuses.

It's not black or white.

The dissemination of information may or may not serve the greater good, depending on the circumstances; whether it matters if the information is accurate or not is again subject to the specifics.

It's really not complicated.

We lie to make things easier.

People with sociological issues lie for personal pleasure, but that is probably the only outlier.

When you lie, white lie or scandal, it's ALWAYS to facilitate your life sailing smoother than if you told the facts.