Here's my brain

I know I have said this probably a whole lot but I will say it again. I had a traumatic brain injury in August of 2008. Sometimes I wonder why I survived if I have to live with this new damaged brain of mine. I seem to only write small poems now cause my brain gets frustrated so very easily. My mom passed in May of 2011 and that was pretty traumatic as well. I do need help ... I really do. Here's just a few poems I've written, thanks for taking the time to read this.

Dec.26, 2015
Just went down
Sad a$$ clown
Makeup dripping
Words slipping
How do I feel?
What's even real?
Pretend play
One day
Paint a smile
For a while

Jan.2, 2016
Don't talk down to me
You have no right
Look at my eyes
I swear I don't bite
But maybe I do
Just wait and see
Look at my eyes
Don't talk down to me

Jan.2, 2016
All I see is red-
As my vision blurs
Is this to last?
Emotions stir
You picked him?
-over your mom?
How low down
Can't stay calm

Jan.18, 2016
TBI has caused confusing pain
Damaged brain- certainly insane
Barely sleep
Frustration seeps
Split above my left temple
-Brain bled.. not simple
Migraines are always the worst
Sometimes I feel.. I am cursed
Sick of feeling completely tortured
Wear my mask.. As I move forward

Jan.26, 2016
My name is Nat
That's a fact
Mentally disturbed
Haven't ya heard
Brain damage the cause
Unwanted flaws
I go up
What's up?
I go down
Huge frown
Lay me down to rest
It's for the best
I'm tired of this
Where's my bliss?

Peace and love -nat the blue eyed cat

a reply to: natalia

Hi my friend .Hope your doing well. Your poems always stir emotions and get our brains thinking overtime. Always written from within. I ain't written anything for ages now (not that I were any good anyway lol) I sincerely hope you get the help you need and deserve We are all with you

I use to be really smart, photographic memory, poorly controlled diabetes has rot my mind, I'm going blind too, its depressing to remember the ways i use to reason, what i could remember and now not, specially just because i lost it but because after all its my fault I did not had the will to control my problem

I may be hypocrite to say this but don't be frustrated, find strength in your weakness, don't feel down just use it all to say f it to the world, be proud of what you do knowing that you have to work harder than the rest . sorry for unsolicited advice its just that although i am allergic to poetry (ima hillbilly) i liked your poems but they are sad

I'm tired of this
Where's my bliss?

At the end of a really hard road that you have to build yourself

When i was a kid, i always knew fear more than love, everything i did in life i did out of fear, when i finally knew how to love, i understod this world has more fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, brothers and sisters than just that one if you are willing to embrace them out of love and not keep the door closed out of fear..

Made me want to just give you a big hug! So... HUG!!!!!!!

a reply to: Indigent

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I have a loving husband and an awesome son and sis. Things could always be worse. I just write these poems to release my darkness. I am going to go to therapy and/or maybe even a support group for others with brain injuries. I know that therapy has helped me in the past.
I am stronger than I think and I just get real down at times.
I wish you well and I really like your avatar

a reply to: kumiho

I have been trying to embrace love more because I feel that love truly is all we need. When I get down I do cry now because I feel that's good for you. When I was growing up I was told crying was a weakness. It releases my sorrow and makes me feel better now. And writing these poems also releases the negative out of me.
Much peace to you

a reply to: Night Star

Hugs back

a reply to: TheDoctor46

Doing good sir. I will get the help I need with my husband, boy, and sis by my side. Also therapy and maybe a support group. Much peace to you

originally posted by: natalia

Dec.26, 2015
Just went down
Sad a$$ clown
Makeup dripping
Words slipping
How do I feel?
What's even real?
Pretend play
One day
Paint a smile
For a while

Jan.2, 2016
Don't talk down to me
You have no right
Look at my eyes
I swear I don't bite
But maybe I do
Just wait and see
Look at my eyes
Don't talk down to me

Jan.2, 2016
All I see is red-
As my vision blurs
Is this to last?
Emotions stir
You picked him?
-over your mom?
How low down
Can't stay calm

Jan.18, 2016
TBI has caused confusing pain
Damaged brain- certainly insane
Barely sleep
Frustration seeps
Split above my left temple
-Brain bled.. not simple
Migraines are always the worst
Sometimes I feel.. I am cursed
Sick of feeling completely tortured
Wear my mask.. As I move forward

Jan.26, 2016
My name is Nat
That's a fact
Mentally disturbed
Haven't ya heard
Brain damage the cause
Unwanted flaws
I go up
What's up?
I go down
Huge frown
Lay me down to rest
It's for the best
I'm tired of this
Where's my bliss?

Peace and love -nat the blue eyed cat

Can we get these to a Metallica rift?

a reply to: Xtrozero

Hah! Ya know I have put some of my poetry to beats before but never rock. Hmmmm.. That just might be interesting. Hope you're being nice and not a meany

originally posted by: natalia
a reply to: Xtrozero

Hah! Ya know I have put some of my poetry to beats before but never rock. Hmmmm.. That just might be interesting. Hope you're being nice and not a meany

No I'm serious, I see some good heavy metal vibes here...

a reply to: Xtrozero

I'm not much into heavy metal anymore.. I'm more mellow or psychedelic if you play guitar, write a tune!