Going through a rough time

Feeling like my husband is either having a mid life crisis of some kind or just doesn't love me anymore. Maybe both. Maybe he never loved me. I am feeling so alone in the world. I try to talk to him about it, and he is just downright cruel. Refuses marriage counseling. I am having such a hard, lonely time and I don't know how to fix it.

a reply to: moonleaf

I believe you've come to the right place my dear...

Sometimes it just helps to get things off your chest by typing

Hate to say it, but is it possible he is being unfaithful?

a reply to: moonleaf

I'm sorry.
I don't know your husband's age but, a "crisis" can come at any age really, I think.

The old man and I have ebbed and flowed through the years...
I know it hurts and if he is unwilling to communicate well, it just makes it harder.

I wish you all the luck in the world and if you need to vent...vent.

Changes and seasons...

I hope things work out the best for you!

a reply to: moonleaf

Maybe he thinks you're overreacting. Try to approach it like, hey honey are you angry at me or something? I love you and I noticed that you seem different. Please tell me about it?

a reply to: moonleaf

Maybe he never loved me.

By suggesting he might not have loved you in the first place, I disagee.
If that was the case, you probably wouldn't have been together at all.
Remember back when you thought you were in love together, maybe it can trigger thoughts on how this came to be.
Good luck and wish you lots of support on this, worst pain in the world is the one from the heart.

It's sounds very hard to go through, but the best advice I can give you is to say to him, I'm here if you need to talk about anything at all...and then find a hobby, go out with the girls/guys/gays, put a little fun in your life. It may not be the issue in your case, but sometimes when I've felt like that towards my boyfriend, or he's been distant with me, it's because one of us felt a little smothered. Sometimes you need a little space.

Being cruel is never okay, though. Maybe tell him there's no need to be rude, and go catch a movie. Don't dwell on it.

a reply to: moonleaf

I'm not sure if this is the best place to solicit advice, but I do understand the urge to get things out. Sometimes it's actually easier to tell things to essentially random strangers.

That being said, it's hard to give any kind of advice or form an opinion based on your post.

If you don't mind me asking....

How old are you two?
How long have you been married?
Does he drink?
Has he (or you) had any recent career changes?
Any kids? (If so, anything drastic happen with them lately?)

I can say that a mid-life crisis not only isn't always a mid-life thing. Further, I think that people can have "crises" on more than one occasion over a lifetime.

a reply to: moonleaf

So sorry to hear it.

You will likely get many responses to this thread with a variation of advice as to what you should do.

You will likely read many opinions on what your situation is and how you can end it or, fix it.

I've made a few of these type of posts myself. lol

My only advice ( yes, I get the irony. lol)

Take away what make sense to you and what feels right.

No one here knows you or your situation completely so, you are the only one that can.

I wish you the best of luck.

a reply to: moonleaf

How long have you been married?

a reply to: moonleaf

It happens.. But maybe not... Been there. Hey you're not alone... You got us! All 300,000 of us ATSers.

Send me a private message if you want to talk.... Best, MS

a reply to: Akragon

wow that's the first thing you ask? no wonder divorce rates are so high these days.

originally posted by: DOCHOLIDAZE1
a reply to: Akragon

wow that's the first thing you ask? no wonder divorce rates are so high these days.

Well, sounds like the right situation however unfortunate it may be...

IF one is in a situation where there seems to be no love, no connection... and no way to reconcile because of lack of interest in doing so... Theres likely a reason for it

Things grow stale sometimes in a relationship, and these days people don't stick it out as they did in the past...

They ignore it and hope it goes away... or they find things elsewhere

sad to say but monogamy is a thing of the past... yet there are still people who do not cheat

Though I don't believe its even close to the majority

a reply to: Akragon

Well, sounds like the right situation however unfortunate it may be...

I'm just not sure how anyone can speculate... considering the OP was so vague.
(I don't mean to disparage the OP, as clearly she is going through something.... just that there wasn't much said for anyone to speculate about... even less give advice).

a reply to: eluryh22

Very true...

but one can assume... Rarely turns out well, but none the less

Personally I would be suspicious... but trust isn't easy to come by with me

Only because its happened to me on numerous occasions, including my ex wife

I cant say much on relationships but I would just say that if he is no caring as much or not responding to you just have some open honest dialogue on what is the issue and take it from there. If he is not able to at least be honest about what is the problem than don't waste your precious time pursuing the matter and just do what is right for you.

This is one of the reasons why I doubt I will ever get married.

originally posted by: moonleaf
Feeling like my husband is either having a mid life crisis of some kind or just doesn't love me anymore. Maybe both. Maybe he never loved me. I am feeling so alone in the world. I try to talk to him about it, and he is just downright cruel. Refuses marriage counseling. I am having such a hard, lonely time and I don't know how to fix it.

Other than just sharing a passing 'feeling', you have offered no detail that would be a necessity for any practical advice other than; a heartfelt 'good luck'..
By the way, 'feelings' are 'thoughts'! They come and go...
A cloud drifting by rarely demands any 'action'!
Perhaps I can be of assistance, since experience = knowledge, and I have a bit...
But would that not be a 'private' discussion?

Otherwise, some 'generalities' that may apply;

"The immature run from Pain, the Wise find the Blessing within!" - n

"Only a Breaking Heart can Love!" - n