I decided that I am easily brainwashed due to my vivid imagination.

I'm not sure where to put this, but I came across this letter that I wrote a little while ago and I really liked it and wanted to see what kind of feedback I got. Some of it will be kind of strange and seem extremely personal but I won't leave anything out and perhaps it will shed some light about where this letter is coming from. There's some good ideas in here I think, too, regardless. Ok here it goes:

Dear (mytherapistsname),

I decided that I am easily brainwashed due to my vivid imagination.

What I mean is... when you try to tell two people about how awful hell is (two people who've never heard about hell before)... the person with the better imagination is going to become far more terrified about just how awful hell is and thus be more easily controlled within that fear. The person with a poor imagination will maybe only feel a slight anxiety and then become distracted by something shiny.

I'm not saying that either or is any better just yet. Each position (a good imagination vs. not a good imagination) has advantages and disadvantages- but if I'd venture to guess which one is better for survival purposes alone... I'd say that having an imagination is better despite the high risk of being brainwashed. Because with a good imagination you are then able to feel the realness of future possibilities and prepare in advance to prevent possible dangers. People who can't see and can't imagine things happening will feel less inclined to do anything about them because the possibilities are less real them. So I've decided, as well, that a strong imagination is the key to learning new things without having to experience them- which essentially leads to something like empathy. Because when someone is telling you a personal story about themselves and you have a great imagination... you're going to be able to really see it and feel it. It becomes more real to you and the more real it becomes the stronger your emotion about it and the stronger your emotion the more you really digest the information being handed to you.

I read in my psychology text book that any strong emotion(good or bad) will send red flags to your brain telling it that the moment is important to your survival so you had better remember it. Thus, memories get stored more securely whenever emotions are heightened. So how do you have strong emotion outside of personal experience? A great imagination. A great imagination will stir great emotion. And some people who lack a good imagination will never be able to learn specific things without those firsthand experiences- which I'd say is the majority of people tbh, including myself. We live on a need-to-know basis only... that means we just toss and ignore details that are not immediately necessary to our survival.

So much comes to mind. Like why did I have to live this life and why do I feel so connected when all I've felt is unbelievable terror at times. How come I'm connected to so many people- is it my own imagination that does it... that creates the near-psychic communication and connections? Is my mind just connecting the dots so that it knows things that most people will never, ever know because they never cared to connect the dots before because they were never terrified into it or because they don't have the imagination to feel how possible things are. Is it just my mind becoming more aware, can it see others more clearly now, forming what appears to be near psychic connections when there's probably some kind of scientific explanation for it. For a long time I felt like it was other people doing it to me but suddenly I realized, one day, that it was possible that my own mind was just keen on picking up cues and patterns and making it so everything kind of synchs together and creates an almost heaven-like hive mind environment.

Last night I kind of told someone that I think I'm easy to brainwash due to my fantastic imagination, and that's why... I experienced and went through what I experienced and went through. They said, in response to that assessment, that being brainwashable is MY problem, not anyone else's. And they're right, I suppose. Now it is my problem. But now I'm seeing things that I've never seen before. It's a scary new world and I just want to be safe and loved and unbothered. The porn thing has been being pushed into my mind lately and I don't know who's doing it (is it myself?) and I decided I just want to know that I'm desirable and attractive but I don't want to be used and abused or do porn ever again. And I struggled all day trying to remind myself that I have talents that lots of people will never have and I can do things that other people can't do and so I'm not just good for porn. I'm not just a body. I want so much to be more than a body.

I love you forever and ever,
I really hope all is well with you.

I don't want to lose sight of you, is that weird?

-Lou.

a reply to: geezlouise

You are so much more!~
Just my initial thought...

I feel for you and good thoughts your way...

More later after I read again...

After second read:

the person with the better imagination is going to become far more terrified about just how awful hell is and thus be more easily controlled within that fear. The person with a poor imagination will maybe only feel a slight anxiety and then become distracted by something shiny.

THIS is so many people we meet in our daily lives, isn't it?
Some people FEEL so much while others are content to just go along, with the flow and never seeming to "get it".

We live on a need-to-know basis only... that means we just toss and ignore details that are not immediately necessary to our survival.

THIS is true as well, if things don't touch others on a deeply personal level, we don't "feel" it.
Know this! I feel for you and am so glad that you are finally at that place in your life to seek help, knowledge, and answers into YOUR reality.
KNOW that there are many of you who want to be there to support and hope and pray that you find your way...

You WILL find your peace!

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Thank you so much, you've made me feel very... noticed, and special. And connected. I love you!

a reply to: geezlouise

I just skimmed your post, pardons.

On the otherhand - and this is your responsibility alone - having a vivid imagination allows one to see all manner of good futures and outcomes.

It is how you use your imagination that informs your life experience. And you and only you can govern how you make use of the 'skill' of imagination.

It's the ole "which wolf are you going to feed (with your attention, speaking of distractions) - the wolf of fear or the wolf of peace (good/bad, happy/sad whatever).

As a self-reflective adult we choose how to 'brainwash' ourselves and if we don't, others will.

Welcome and Best wishes.

a reply to: FyreByrd

Spot on! I've said the same exact thing about being able to feel good and positive future possibilities, as well. I know it's not all doom and gloom, or that it doesn't have to be... but I can't deny that sometimes it sure does feel like it.

Thank you so much for your astute insight, it's really reinforcing.

a reply to: geezlouise

I think there's some truth to what you're saying. Can you come up with predictions with your imagination? I don't mean supernatural predictions, just calling a thing before it happens. If you don't want your imagination to run wild and drag you with it, train it to follow reality. For every scenario you run through, don't just fixate on it, run every alternative you can think of.

Brainwashing will give you a story that doesn't fit with reality. Look for experiences that could give you insight into what you are concerned with. If you're told you can't do something, try it anyways. If you're warned a group is trouble, listen to them and try talking with them (don't let liberals paint your image of conservatives or vice versa). Use your imagination to compare what you're told with what you could imagine; and especially compare what you were told with what you've actually experienced. You'll get to were you can come up with a point of view that comes closer to your experiences than someone trying to mislead you.

a reply to: VP740

You are so very reinforcing and lovely. I do all of that and more, I love you a lot right now.

a reply to: geezlouise

That was eloquently wonderful!
Thank you!

I agree completely. The more imaginative a person is, the more susceptible they are to untoward manipulators and manipulations. I found that out the hard way, and my hellscapes were horrible. I've found the best way to shield oneself is to use as many positive constructs and wily mental mazes and traps as we can envision in order to keep the nefarious idolaters of horror at bay.

Just don't talk too in-depth with untrustworthy types about your defenses, and make sure to lead them into as many blind alleys and cul-de-sacs as possible. Sometimes halls of mirrors keep them busy long enough to get away safely. Never revel your beautiful gardens and deep rooted treasures to those types or they'll hound you forever trying to get their greedy little hands on what is your rightful birthright and inheritance.

When in doubt, you can always throw the fnords at them.
Shiny shiny fnords....the worst simply can't resist them.

Peace be with you and may all your future travels be safe.
May all your journals be bright and beautiful.
*hugs*

Do you have a lot of artistic ability geezelouise? It allows you to put yourself deeper into things.

There could be problems with believing people who sound believable if you have this trait. The evidence for the Big Bang theory is not enough to prove it happened that way, just because a lot of scientists believe we can determine the way the universe was formed from this little dot in space, doesn't mean it is real. They are creating specific tests to test this but it does not mean that their evidence is exclusive to the hypothesis. But many believe it is. So don't feel alone.

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

FNORDS! And I've read prometheus rising and a cosmic trigger and of course the illuminatus trilogy and I'm trying to impress you right now by telling you all of that because you've impressed me with your contribution here. Thank you so much for taking the time to give this to me, I love you.

a reply to: geezlouise

Love you too!
Stay beautiful out there!


*hugs*

a reply to: rickymouse

I do have artistic ability! I won't lie about it because what purpose would that serve? And I know what you're saying... actually I'm not really sure where you got the big bang theory from but maybe it's from the reference I made about hell? Hell could represent anything scary really. But I used to believe in God bigtime, like bigtime trust me. However... now I'm not so sure. I mean, I think I'm being honest and drawing closer to the truth by admitting that I don't know what's what. I'm a fan of the truth though, of seeking it. I'm not afraid to know what I know but also know that that can change. I'm obsessed about all things involving life so I always loved science stuff and I've never been opposed to the idea of the big bang theory. So yea, thank you for making me think about that.

a reply to: geezlouise

Can this 'open letter' be condensed into "you feel you were brainwashed into the porn industry"?

What else has your vivid imagination brainwashed you into doing/believing?

Sounds like a case of the crazy or just maybe you are highly intelligent and empathic to boot with a healthy dose of impulsiveness. Are you European by chance?

I agree, a vivid imagination can be a blessing or a curse- it needs to be mastered.
It plays a big part in empathy, in theory of mind (your conception of what others feel and think), in anticipation and creativity.

When I used to work in horsemanship, I noticed there was a lot of girls who had a problem with what I called a "runaway imagination"- more so than men. In that activity, the sensitivity of the horse makes them act out what is going on in your head, so if you are anticipating trouble in your imagination, so it will be!

Like they'd be imagining look at that mailbox up there, what if my horse gets scared of it?
They do that to plan out how they might be able to react if it happens, or how to avoid it,
and while doing so, they are envisioning the horse spooking,
their body is doing these micro responses to the vision (rise in blood pressure, heartbeat, tension in muscles..).

The horse picks that up and gets the message- there is something threatening around here! She's scared! And starts looking around to see what it is (reading her body like a game of hot and cold- seeing what direction make the responses accelerate) and figures out- Its that mailbox thing! YIKES!

And you got yourself a runaway, exactly as the imaginative rider foresaw.

It was in this activity that I first became aware of my active imagination, and the pitfalls and traps I cause myself in life in general. I became focused on learning to master this ability. Because this influences other people too, in subconscious ways, it influences how you react to events and provoke their outcome.

- Something to consider as an interesting side note-
we all have gotten frustrated with someone who refuses to see or understand another point of view or side to the story.
They refuse to empathize for a minute, and you can wonder why and insist- why won't you open your mind for just a second???
Well, this is the reason. They have a good reason!

In my case, rather than keep myself from empathizing or stepping into other shoes, in order to keep my intended focus,
I worked on developing the ability to be extremely flexible instead. To step in, develop the imaginative perspective, but then stop it and move back into mine as will.

The first step to that is determining what my personal perspective, ideas, conceptions and experiences ARE.
That gives a firm base to return to, like an anchor.

When you are young, or haven't developed your own character and personality that well yet, this is the problem you run into- you get swayed to and fro by the winds of others, as you empathize her and there, imagine this outcome or that, and just don't have one to come back to and ground yourself. So you feel confused and not at all master of your life.

So I would often work with those girls on developing their character and individual will first. What do you intend, what do you prefer and like, in a very self centered manner. When you know that, then you are safer to stretch the imagination more.

Just my ramblings this morning. Have a great day!!!

Please stop devaluing the word love.
Adleast you are easily influenced on the positive side of the spectrum. Beware that people will likely take advantage of your good nature if you express it the way you do. I would say more self restraint and use of more applicable words. Good luck

Some people will always act like loving is a sin and a crime. Shame on you Mr. Rossacus!

a reply to: Bluesma

Bluesma, I do love your rambles here and I will be back later to write more about it. I love it, I love you. I'm not kidding and people can try to trample on my wonder and my love all they like but I won't be stopped!

originally posted by: geezlouise
a reply to: rickymouse

I do have artistic ability! I won't lie about it because what purpose would that serve? And I know what you're saying... actually I'm not really sure where you got the big bang theory from but maybe it's from the reference I made about hell? Hell could represent anything scary really. But I used to believe in God bigtime, like bigtime trust me. However... now I'm not so sure. I mean, I think I'm being honest and drawing closer to the truth by admitting that I don't know what's what. I'm a fan of the truth though, of seeking it. I'm not afraid to know what I know but also know that that can change. I'm obsessed about all things involving life so I always loved science stuff and I've never been opposed to the idea of the big bang theory. So yea, thank you for making me think about that.

I'm actually taking an online course on gravity. It is free unless you want the credits. It includes the Big Bang theory.

I'm disappointed, the course does not explain what gravity is, but at least the physicist doing it states they really do not know what gravity is. He does state they know some of it's properties and how to measure it. I don't think the physicist actually believes in the Big Bang theory because he keeps stating opposite opinions that exist. But he also does show evidence that substantiates the big bang but he never once said the big bang theory is correct, only widely accepted and that there is evidence that shows it may be correct. I like the teacher but his accent makes me have to keep the captions on so I can understand him.

If you get overly involved in stuff, it is wise to sit back and do a self evaluation once in a while. Putting yourself into things is a sign of high intelligence but when you get obsessed, it is time to go get drunk. People all over the world get obsessive compulsive about things and go after them agressively. I am no stranger to obsessive compulsive and being a perfectionist. People know I am that way, they accept it and I have had a lot of friends over the years. Not many really good friends though, you only need a few of those.

Another related issue with this is a compulsive need to be appreciated and I used to be helping everyone and working for cheap so people would like me. Now I have a lot of confidence and don't need the social reinforcement anymore, I already put in my time trying to be nice. Now I have adopted telling the truth, not reinforcing others misguided beliefs. My parents said you need to let your kids and friends make their own mistakes so they learn, I feel I should warn them though, not let them make mistakes I made or have observed over the years. It takes many warnings to be able to get them to listen though, but most of my warnings wind up coming true and they do eventually learn to listen to my wisdom. Wisdom that comes from real life experiences of myself and my friends, not something I learned in a book. Tying this life experience to learning now gives me great advantage over those studying medicine today, I can relate what I learn to things I have observed and experienced, a twenty five year old cannot comprehend how to use the knowledge.

You see, I am still obsessive compulsive, there is no cure in sight. I just changed directions again getting back onto my original chosen path.

Everything you have learned or experienced is part of you, it is what makes you you. It is crazy to believe anyone is better than you, they may just have more experience but they may not be evaluating things right either. Remember to check your path, make sure you are actually on the right path, not just straying from the path. Sometimes we choose to go on a path that goes nowhere and that path is all we can think of. I would hate to be stuck in a job as a physicist, only thinking about physics and never learning how to build a home and all the wiring and plumbing and furnace stuff. I have had many professions in my life, I love learning new things and altering my path to discover what life can teach me. I love working on cars and fixing anything broken. I have to make sure I do not overdo that, keeping in mind the value of what I am fixing. It is easy to get carried away. The more you spend the more you have to make to get to the same place.

When I awoke, I actually was being yanked all over the place, learning that what I used to ignore is actually important. I turned into a workaholic. I knew it but couldn't stop. I figured out why now and how to stop working without dying. Many guys die right after they retire, ever wonder why? I know why and a way to fix the issue in half the cases.

a reply to: geezlouise

Genuinely trying to help. Saying I love you to your therapist is dangerous and you could be diagnosed with something you don't have, be giving powerful drugs that you were not meant to take. My point bejng using the wrong words in the wrong context is dangerous for you. I'm sure you don't care but the fact you are writing that type of letter speaks volumes to me. Peace.

Have no problem with love. I do have a problem with people misusing the word though.

a reply to: geezlouise

If this is a legit attempt to receive feedback, what does that feedback mean to you? In other words, what was your goal in posting this letter to the ATS community?

Beyond your assertion that you were brainwashed into the pornographic industry, are there other instances in your life that represent to you a comingling of imagination and cohersion? If you're here making an honest attempt to receive feedback, you should provide more examples of this brainwashing.

As noted above, this information could be disastrous to your psychological welfare if it were to lead to a cocktail of medications you do not need. Much less want. A cursory read of the 'open letter' you penned comes across as an attention grab, or worse, someone that needs immediate psychiatric treatment. Reveal want you would like, but it would behoove you to be more concrete and focused on the goal you had in mind when posting the letter.

From my experience, the ATS community is a solid resource for any number of things, but an alternative to legitimate psychiatric treatment, it is not. The community can help, but not without a cohesive, cogent rationale of the goal you had in mind. Otherwise, most people will read the thread and come to the 'attention grab' conclusion, or provide unqualified psychiatric advice in place of real, immediate medical help.

Brainwashing is not a joke. A vivid imagination should be encouraged and fostered, but the assertion that your imagination lead you to be brainwashed into porn (the only example you provided that your imagination lead to a specific act of brainwashing) is circumspect at best. Again, if you are seeking genuine feedback you should be more concrete in your goal with this letter and other examples of where a vivid imagination lead you into specific acts of being brainwashed.

Look forward to your response. I think you'll get solid feedback in this thread, if you do.