Do all "Conspiracies" HAVE to be Death and Destruction Doom and Gloom?

THIS IS AN HONEST ATTEMPT AT LEVITY FOR THE SAKE OF LEVITY AND A CREATIVE THOUGHT EXPERIMENT OF SORTS. YOU ARE IN NO WAY OBLIGATED TO CONTRIBUTE A MASTERS THESIS OR DEBATE ARGUMENTS TO PROVE YOUR GOOFY CLAIMS ON THIS ONE.

(if you choose to do so, that's on you and no penalty will be given)

And yes, I'm being completely serious.

Daresay, in my oldish age I've seen the rise of conspiracy discussions range from over xeroxed chain letters passed by hand and rather weird encounters with random people on the street to being a full blown nightmare of the internets "oh my god we're all gonna die any moment now and it's only getting WORSE"!

Are there real things out there that need our attentions?
Of course.

An informed and aware populace can only be a benefit to any civilized culture...provided we don't get shell shocked from the constant influx of supersaturation from media outlets - both real...and imagined and/or hyperinflated for the sake of media hit points.

I bring this thread to the ATS membership in the hopes that someone out there remembers when the Illuminati was JUST a card game and not a "predictive prophecy heralding the end of days"....that there are still folks out there left who remember silly rags like Weekly World News and didn't take the dire headlines oh so super seriously.

"Man Eating Men From Mars Invade Small Colorado Town" didn't sent people into a mad flash of anger and panicked infighting and neighbor against neighbor fight fests calling for the heads of all Politicians for not preventing such matters in the first place without a good hearty laugh and knee slap at the end of the tirade.

Does anyone else out there have funny, absolutely RIDICULOUS conspiracy theories that are silly and lighthearted?

If so, would you be willing to share here in thread?

I'd really like to meet you folks and swap goofy headlines just so we don't all go insane from the stress.

I'll offer one up I used to joke about in the mid-90's:

"See those orange Bic lighters? They're only in stock when the Mafia has a control on the area. Better grab one and keep it handy so folks know you're down with the Syndicate. Keep an eye on it, cause some folks will try and snag it and run off with it and claim they're acting on orders from the Don. He only let's the clerks put them out when the kids are alright, ya dig?"

It was funny....for a while...until someone took it seriously and orange lighters went scarce for a good long while in that area.

Let's see if this thread can just be silly headlines, yet slightly serious, yet not entirely true....or are they?

Here's my feeble attempt for the moment:

ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS WIN IN OVERTIME AGAINST MISSISSIPPI 53-51 DUE TO AN ACT OF DIVINE INTERVENTION:
God is quoted as saying : "I really like those kids....they've got some serious school spirit. They deserved this win."


Let's try and keep on track and lighthearted if possible.

Is it true?
Could it be for real?
Did every element of this story come from factual data?
Do we require empirical evidence at any expense?
Can I take a break from being serious occasionally?

Will my credibility be called into account at every opportunity after this because I ....*gasp*...had fun and took a load off?

Is it ok to have fun on the Main Page or do I always have to be uber-serious?

This is going to be moved to BTS Jokes, Puns and Pranks isn't it?

IS ELVIS REALLY VACATIONING OFF THE COAST OF NEPTUNE?

I bet he is.
That's why they had to bury this thread in BTS I bet.

Stay tuned and find out!

THE DECISION...(should you chose to believe or disbelieve anything written here).....RESTS WITH YOU.

Peace.

edit on 11/7/15 by GENERAL EYES because: grammar, formatting and so forth..yet again...sorry about that guys