May have met my true love but it comes with a price.(the herp)

a reply to: Liquesence

Thanks, that gave me more insight then you will know.

Its weird, I didn't think of it in such a role reversing way but it makes sense.

That was cool of her to be up front about it and must've been hard for her but keep in mind one day it could be you having that convo with somebody else.

recently met this girl and I am in love with her and she is in love with me

Love and Lust look very similar at first. You get the rush of seeing someone new and you feel like that person just gets you.
I'm willing to bet you haven't dated for a while or just fresh out of a bad relationship that went on far too long. Take a step back and wait a month. If you feel the same after the new has worn off, go for it.

Please don't compromise your health for the sake of someone you hardly know.

Your body is the only thing that you can guarantee will be with you for life - look after it.

You say your life is a mess at the moment - that makes you vulnerable.

If this woman cared for you she wouldn't be prepared to risk your health for the sake of sex.

And listen to Liquesence

Yeah I'd stick to some good old fashioned hand jibbers until you're sure you're in love. Give it a few months.

Honestly herpes isn't nearly as big of a deal as everyone makes it out to be. 1 in 6 Americans have it, and that's probably on the low side. You might want to get yourself tested. You might already have it and not need to worry anymore.

Run like hell, imho. She needs to find a mate who is already infected.

She will have a hell of a time closing the deal with any sane guy and will have to act like the catch-all partner
( no pun intended) to even get close to landing any guy, if she discloses this issue.

The massage therapist is the second deal-breaker for me.

The world is full of women, almost half full.

Don't remotely take this lightly. It is permanent. Do not, I mean, do not complete your decision without a thorough google image search of herpes outbreaks, and make sure that safe search is disabled to get the real pictures. This crap isnt limited to your private areas, it can cover tour face, back, hands, mouth and entire body.

Dime a dozen, don't get desperate.

Condoms don't help with this crap, you will get it around base areas from contact anyway. If you gotta go in, double wrapped body condom is the only safe way, in other words, there is no real safe way.

Relationships come and go, the herps will stay.

a reply to: Mandroid7

Thanks for your opinion. I have been racking my brain all day about this. I have decided to tell her I just want to be friends. She told me no matter what she wants me in her life forever, lets see if that is the case, I highly doubt it.

I kinda started thinking about the psychology of convincing a new sexual partner who is not infected. I think if I was going to convince someone to sleep with me after disclosing, I would convince them I loved them and wanted to be with them forever. That way it would never seem like you didn't disclose because you did. In a way that tactic is just as bad if not worse.

Oh man, I feel like I dodged a bullet, thanks every one on ATS who responded, you saved my banana!!!! YAY!!!!! ATS SAVED MY BANANA!!!!!!!!

a reply to: bananashooter

Saved your banana. That's a good one. At least your banana didn't get peeled.

a reply to: bananashooter

No problem buddy. Us guys have a terrible time controlling our two heads, it can be a challenge at times.

I would also be supportive as a friend to her, she sounds cool.

Your banana sounds saved. Best of luck!

I bet his banana is being peeled as we speak.

You don't tell anybody "let's be friends".


It's like saying I hate your guts..

originally posted by: rockintitz
a reply to: bananashooter
This is one of the only times I would say wait till marriage.

100% this. The fact that she has herpes is probably making her desperate to be with anyone she can. As you said, you've only known her a short time... And she really, really wants to have sex. I'm willing to bet she's been laying the wooing on pretty heavy to try to hook you in (and trying to seduce you into having sex so that you can willfully infect yourself and you'll both then be on equal ground, with you therefore having nothing to lose), because she knows nobody wants someone with sexual diseases.
Don't do it, you can't get rid of herpes. It's with you for life. And once you have it, it's pretty much her or no one else, because no woman is going to say "Oh, I don't mind getting herpes, you seem like a nice enough guy!".

Either wait til you're married, or run fast.

a reply to: bananashooter

Since you asked, here are some foods to eat while you have herpes:

Fruits: Eating fruit is a great way to get adequate lysine into your body. Plenty of autumn fruits contain high amounts of lysine. Try including apples, figs and pears in your diet. Summer treats like mangos and apricots are also beneficial.

Vegetables: Research has shown that cauliflower, brussel sprouts and broccoli are three of the best foods to eat to prevent a herpes outbreak. Most vegetables are high in lysine and low in arginine. Beans, beets and potatoes are other vegetables rich in lysine that you can include in your diet.

Dairy: Consuming dairy products when you are suffering from herpes will help cure your sores fast. Yoghurt has one of the highest amounts of lysine of all foods. Make sure you eat yogurt that doesn’t contain gelatin or corn syrup. Gelatin has arginine, which may cause outbreaks.

Meats: Eating various types of meats can help cure your herpes. Beef, lamb, fish and chicken are all rich in lysine.

JustHerpes.com

a reply to: trollz

100% this. The fact that she has herpes is probably making her desperate to be with anyone she can.

Oh please. Herpes is incredibly common. It's becoming HPV. There's no test for it for men, but I guarantee I have HPV. I guarantee anyone that's slept with more than 10 people has HPV. I've never seen anything, but I guarantee I have it. It's like 1 in 3 or something. My peen has traveled enough for those stats to be worrisome.

Quit making it into some horrible life ending thing. It's not great, but it's not a big deal unless you have HIV or something. A lot of people don't even know they have herpes because they've been asymptomatic.

Acting like someone is a slut if they have herpes is retarded. You can get herpes if you've only slept with one person, and you never truly know if a person is being honest. You never know if a person even knows they have it. Of course avoid getting herpes if you can, but don't let something like that keep you from falling in love. Someone who's worth it will tell you, and they'll give you all the time you need to make a very important decision without pressure.

originally posted by: Domo1
It's not great, but it's not a big deal unless you have HIV or something.

hahahahah....
i love this post.

got a little dungeness crab down there?/? eh, least its not hiv

on a serious note i have a question

cany you get the herples from her if you go round the back way?

a reply to: trollz

What a stupid hateful thing to say, your name is trollz go figure. So because she has it she automatically wants to infect her partner? WOW what a thought process you have, you probaly feel that way because that is how you see it and what you would do in that situation I bet.

Everybody deserves a chance at love and to accuse someone of intentionally passing it to someone just because they have it is pretty ignorant especially without knowing the person. I'm sure there are some people and in fact I know one that would intentionally do that but they generally would not share that information in the first place and tend to be screwed up d-bag people, I know two actually. Don't like either and made the one that beat on women bleed at a party once.

In this case she told her partner so he could at least be informed about any decision he would make as opposed to deceptively trapping him into the same situation.

originally posted by: Mugly

originally posted by: Domo1
It's not great, but it's not a big deal unless you have HIV or something.

hahahahah....
i love this post.

got a little dungeness crab down there?/? eh, least its not hiv

on a serious note i have a question

cany you get the herples from her if you go round the back way?

Actually what he means and I think you would know this if you did a little research (amazing the things we can learn with this whole super information highway thing) is that having either herpes or hiv A). makes it easier to contract the other and B). that having both will hurt your health more severely as it puts more stress on the body and immune system.

Facts and science and shi+ are cool aye.

a reply to: TrappedPrincess

fear not. i know what he meant.
it reads funny to me though

now again

herples through the back way?
yes. no. maybe

originally posted by: Mugly
a reply to: TrappedPrincess

fear not. i know what he meant.
it reads funny to me though

now again

herples through the back way?
yes. no. maybe

That I'm not sure about. What I do know about herpes is that even with a condom it can be spread BECAUSE unlike other STD's it is not necessarily the orgasm fluid that causes it but rather the infected fluid/puss from the open sores. Basically someone has open sores that will naturally have like that glossy sticky film on the upper layer, that is infected fluid that when contacts uninfected skin then contaminates that skin. As for getting while someone is not on an outbreak I've always thought that was next to impossible not entirely but pretty rare chances. I'm no doctor though so I could be entirely wrong about this.

originally posted by: bananashooter
a reply to: Mandroid7

Thanks for your opinion. I have been racking my brain all day about this. I have decided to tell her I just want to be friends. She told me no matter what she wants me in her life forever, lets see if that is the case, I highly doubt it.

I kinda started thinking about the psychology of convincing a new sexual partner who is not infected. I think if I was going to convince someone to sleep with me after disclosing, I would convince them I loved them and wanted to be with them forever. That way it would never seem like you didn't disclose because you did. In a way that tactic is just as bad if not worse.

Oh man, I feel like I dodged a bullet, thanks every one on ATS who responded, you saved my banana!!!! YAY!!!!! ATS SAVED MY BANANA!!!!!!!!

Sounds like you did the right thing man.
If she's the one then you'll hang out and eventually you'll get to a place where you're happy together and know you'll want each other and it'll happen.

There's no rush.

Aw man it's herpes. Whoop D #! You'll prob catch it one day and it's not even that big of a deal. Remember when they hold up a healthy persons lungs and a smokers lungs.... They're both dead. a reply to: bananashooter