Hollywood couldn't write this kind of story.

Well this is going to be very crazy so here it is.

My soon to be ex husband and I separated in the middle of January. Our marriage was done long before and we probably never should have gotten married to begin with but it is what it is.

Well I met someone, not someone new, someone I had known for years and always felt a connection to. It was my best friends brother. His mom and sister set us up and it was great. I never knew how much we had in common and he made it so easy to be ME around him. I never had that. He got all the little things I wanted from a partner and didn't judge me. We could communicate and talk like adults without arguing. I am sure the last 10 years of being friends helped. I wasn't around them for a few years but I still spoke with his sister. His mom always made comments about us dating and belonging together, ALWAYS.

So he and I took things slow, then we backed off and then started seeing each other again but wanted to wait to be serious until my paperwork was filed. Well I got the paperwork filed out and my ex signed it. When I asked for a divorce my ex came up with the terms for the divorce. He didn't want it but he knew I wouldn't come back. I had my reasons and nothing he could say or do would change it. I didn't trust him at all and with some things for me once you break that level of trust I don't give it back. Too much past experience that i just can't do it. He's not a bad person just for me he wasn't "the one."

Well my friends brother and I got closer after the paperwork was done and that is when things got INSANE. My friend and her mom, who treated me like family for about 10 yrs, started acting catty towards me and just giving off bad vibes. I saw it when we all went out one night and I said something to the guy I was seeing and he said they were fine but I SAW it. I felt it. They didn't act the way they use to. Now this family works and lives together, no big deal. I always knew how close they were but I didn't know how possessive they were of the son. I mean it's just been so insane I can't even believe what has happened.

Anyway. This guy and I had a great time and would see each other when our schedules permitted, which was maybe once a week! I worked with his sister and had on and off for years. She would call me her sister in law and say all these things about her brother and i being together but when HE told them I was the one he wanted in the family and for life THAT'S when the mom and sister changed.

So one day while he and I are out they decide to call my soon to be ex husband!! Yea you read that right! They make up ALL these lies about me and make me look like i"m some manipulative liar. They acted like they had no idea we were getting divorced and said I never told them, which is a flat out lie. They knew the WHOLE process! The entire process! I couldn't believe the crap they were saying. I felt so betrayed and hurt more than I ever have in my life! MY best friend did this to break her brother and I up. Why? Well that's anyones guess but it doesn't take a genius to see they saw me as a threat in some way. I was going to take him from them, which is ludacris! They have known me for years and know exactly how I am yet in their minds they made up all kinds of lies to justify their actions and well of course he and I are not together. They caused sooooo much drama it's been a horrible month. I haven't talked to any of them because the mom and sister know what they did was wrong. I know the brother is clueless to most of what they have done because I know how they can be. They love keeping him out of the loop of their schemes especially this.

He and were happy and feelings were involved. So much happened and then his own family felt the need to get in the way of two grown adults!! Sure one could say he doesn't have the cojones to stand up to them but even if he did they would make his life hell so he would rather sacrifice his own happiness to keep the peace. Sure that bothers me because I would never let anyone dictate who I should be with especially when that person made me so happy. His own mom and sister told me they have never seen him this happy with someone, ever. That right there is also when things started to change. He spent more time with me than them. I could see it a mile away!! I just never thought they would be so vindictive and low!

So here is the good part. Now my EX and my ex best friend are talking and want to date. YUP! What PLANET or UNIVERSE am I ON! I just can't even fathom what is going on. My ex came home last week from overseas to get our son and what does he do? He goes to their house to "talk" to them and then takes my former friend out to dinner. I'm like WTF! It makes no sense. I'm even lost as to what this whole crap storm is. It's like a crazy movie script!!!! Oh and my ex is coming Friday to stay so he can see her! Yet I can't see the one I love? What in the hell?!

I know this sounds completely insane but this is just the abridged version. I have had many close friends get upset over this situation because they know it's such BS. It's utterly disgusting.

Because two grown women can't handle the only male in their house being happy they sabotage it? I know they are family but I didn't realize how much they rely on him for their OWN happiness. I mean wouldn't you think they want him happy instead of being their *itch? Which sorry as much as I care for him he IS.


ugh I'm so angry. I opened up to someone for the first time fully in my life and this happens. I feel so hurt and vulnerable. I'm done with relationships. I know that is the typical jaded response but honestly this is the last person I ever wanted to lose let alone my best friend which is why I NEVER dated him before. However his own FAMILY set us up and pushed us together, even though he and i were interested and always were so it wasn't' hard. I dont think they expected us to become so close so fast. I wasnt asking him to live with me or get married. We were happy with OUR arrangement. OURS not theirs.

I know this is all over the place but i have reached my breaking point. I was happy for once with someone who bared his soul to me. I never had anyone tell me how they felt about me in the way he did. It was beautiful and sweet and kind. My ex could never tell me anything like that, nor had any other man.

I finally found someone who gets me and accepts me and he doesn't have the balls to tell his family to back off? WHY is my love like a tragic Shakespeare novel?! Funny he said we should run away like Romeo and Juliet and just be together so in some ways I know he sees how they are but he won't disappoint them. I know I should move on and I"m trying but it still hurts. There is so much history there with all of them that it's just killing me for so many reasons.


Sorry this was all over the place but lately I'm all over the place

a reply to: mblahnikluver

If he's on the level you are on with investing in a serious relationship and pursuing his feelings he should find a way to make it happen, and his family members can either get over it or continue acting immature. There comes a time when a guy just has to follow his heart regardless of what anyone (even his closest loved ones) thinks about it.

If he is mentioning both of you being like Romeo and Juliet and running off together, with a nervous laugh thrown in there, he probably isn't serious about it. But you can't allow yourself to be stuck in limbo, waiting for something to change or waiting for him to come around. If he's not ready for it, he just wasn't on the same level and couldn't be mature enough to make the hard decision. I think that's what it really comes down to. And you need to pursue whatever in life will make you feel impassioned, even if that means leaving this mess behind entirely and starting fresh.

I'm sorry to hear about these struggles but a few months and years from now you will look back on it and laugh at how crazy it was. Life gives us challenges but view them as growing pains - "character building" as a lot of grandfolks refer to it as. It's the spice of life, make the best of it! Wishing you the best.

originally posted by: FamCore
a reply to: mblahnikluver

If he's on the level you are on with investing in a serious relationship and pursuing his feelings he should find a way to make it happen, and his family members can either get over it or continue acting immature. There comes a time when a guy just has to follow his heart regardless of what anyone (even his closest loved ones) thinks about it.

Oh I agree!

If he is mentioning both of you being like Romeo and Juliet and running off together, with a nervous laugh thrown in there, he probably isn't serious about it.

He mentioned it because I love Shakepeare and Romeo and Juliet is my favorite even though it's tragic lol. He said we should just get away and be alone and then brought up Shakespeare and Romeo and Juliet. I laughed and said um they die!~ He also talked like Yoda to me because we are both big Star Wars fans. lol so the Shakespeare reference was a joke for me. I liked that we had that, we always joked back and forth.

But you can't allow yourself to be stuck in limbo, waiting for something to change or waiting for him to come around. If he's not ready for it, he just wasn't on the same level and couldn't be mature enough to make the hard decision. I think that's what it really comes down to. And you need to pursue whatever in life will make you feel impassioned, even if that means leaving this mess behind entirely and starting fresh.

I'm working on school right now. That is my focus and well it takes up my time. I'm not in yet but I've been studying the math I will have to take so I dont start not knowing what I'm doing! He knows how I feel. I don't need a man in my life, it's nice to have someone to share your life with but it's not a need. It's more of a bonus. If he ever gets the balls to do what he should do imo then he knows where I am. I don't intend on dating or even trying to. I dont care to. I have a child and meeting someone new is not on my list. He was someone I had known for years so having him around my son was not an issue. They were like family to me so it was easy to have them around.

I'm sorry to hear about these struggles but a few months and years from now you will look back on it and laugh at how crazy it was. Life gives us challenges but view them as growing pains - "character building" as a lot of grandfolks refer to it as. It's the spice of life, make the best of it! Wishing you the best.

LOL thanks yea I should sell my memoirs to Hollywood. My adult life has been very interesting. I'm sure they could make a few movies when it comes to my love life!

Thanks for your kind reply

I am sorry for the issues you are having. I wish there was something I could say or do that would help you. Relationship issues are never easy. I married a lady thinking she was the one. Before our wedding she cheated on me with a coworker. I did not call if off and we did get married. Ten months later we were divorced. While going through the divorce my college roommate and I started hanging out together. What I did not know was a year later, the two of them were together. Next they were living together and they were engaged. Not once did anyone say a word to me about their relationship.

I only found out several years later that this occurred. They never married and to this day she is single. The only thing I can say is everything happens for a reason. I have been married to my current wife for 10 years and we have two wonderful children. Time heals all wounds, but the scar is always there. I thought I would never be happy and felt alone and depressed for a long time. I lost a friend over the deal also. My prayers are with you. Love will find you when you least expect it.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

LOL thanks yea I should sell my memoirs to Hollywood. My adult life has been very interesting. I'm sure they could make a few movies when it comes to my love life!

The "industry" is always looking for good new material; but only in the proper format.

I would like to encourage you to tell your story; this is what we use .....

www.celtx.com...

Then when you have your screenplay, telenovela, TV series, you can take it to market at....

fadeinonline.com...

Good Luck!

Wow. Maybe he should talk to them and find out why they lied like that about. They will probably tell him why and what they really think of you if they really do see you as a threat.

Communication problems can ruin friendships and relationships. He doesn't want to disappoint them and that is his family. If you stay together then you will have to find a way to be neutral towards them if friendship is not an option at this point.

I wish you the best.
Peace

a reply to: mblahnikluver

I hope you and the guy in question can find away forward by leaving the drama and if need family behind. Some people thrive on Drama at the expense of there own well being and their friends. You wouldn't be the only to discover how family is first to betray you.

Let your ex best friend have your ex husband , they must just deserve each other.

originally posted by: arpgme
Wow. Maybe he should talk to them and find out why they lied like that about. They will probably tell him why and what they really think of you if they really do see you as a threat.

Not that simple. They like to play innocent with him. He could ask and they would just lie.

[quoge]Communication problems can ruin friendships and relationships. He doesn't want to disappoint them and that is his family. If you stay together then you will have to find a way to be neutral towards them if friendship is not an option at this point.

I wish you the best.
Peace

Well we were all very close friends until they went on the attack. It's been insane. I have no problem with his family and I in some way get it but that doesn't mean I think it's right what they did. Those two won't even talk to me without telling or being hateful. It's like dealing with highschool kids.

If he changes his mind and wants to grow a pair and tell them to butt out he knows where I am. I am not chasing him.

Thank you

originally posted by: xpert11
a reply to: mblahnikluver

I hope you and the guy in question can find away forward by leaving the drama and if need family behind. Some people thrive on Drama at the expense of there own well being and their friends. You wouldn't be the only to discover how family is first to betray you.

I've always known how overly dramatic his mom and sister could be but this I never imagined!!!!

Let your ex best friend have your ex husband , they must just deserve each other.

Ha oh they do. It's just so laughable