My manic episodes tripping through dimensions/alternate reality.

This is my story, I have wanted to talk about this for sometime but have been kind of scared to talk about it to anyone, but it bothers me and I want to know if anyone else has experienced this type of phenomenon. Please excuse any typos but it took a lot of emotion to write these true life experiences and don't feel like reading it again.

So, I am Bipolar type 1 and have been on some manic episodes that were utterly mind bending. My episodes started happening in about 2009 I was about 27 at the time. Before that I was as sane as the next person, nothing ever even remotely weird happened in my head before that time.

The first time back in 2009 I just started feeling really good and wasn't needing very much sleep. I felt absolutely intrigued by everything around me, I was writing a reading like crazy, my creativity was going off the charts. It was a mild manic episode. I kept experiencing them about every couple months but with a increasing intensity. I was an airplane mechanic and my episodes got so bad I ended up losing my job and making a lot of people(co-workers and friends) I knew really uneasy with the idea of being around me because of the very strange stuff I was talking about. The aviation industry is not at all forgiving in the areas of mental health affecting people in safety sensitive positions, so I was terminated for BS reasons so they could get me out of there.

I took some time off and I started really going off the deep end, in 2010 my girlfriend at the time decided enough is enough and kicked me out. We were together for 5 years and she just kind of cast me aside, she still wont talk to me and it really sucks, I think about her everyday and the fact that she cant forgive me for having problems just does not sit right with me, but that's a story for another day.

I got my life back in order and in 2011 I was working a full time aviation job as a structures technician on some new bombardier q 400 aircraft.
Just when I thought everything was back to normal and my life was starting to make sense I started getting weird again, really weird.
I was on a day off and I was walking down a river in cour 'd'lane Idaho when I came upon a guy pulling rocks out of the river. I asked what he was doing and he told me he was a out of work geologist, and he was collecting these big volcanic rocks from the river. I asked why and he said they had a little gold in them, and he would take them to the smelting plant in town and get enough money to live on for a few months. For some reason I was in a manic state that day and didn't really care that there was a supposed fortune in the river ripe for the picking, but then again money has never been a driving force in my life. The geologist asked if I would help load the pile of rocks into his truck and I said sure. As he wen to pick up his truck I find this rock that was about the size of a chicken egg but something looked off, I took a closer look and on the side it looked like a tiny skeleton imprinted on it. The geologist came back and I asked him to look at what seemed like a fossilized dinosaur egg, the geologist freaked out and was like "do you know what this is? It's a dinosaur egg!" He says " you are going to be rich!" I said I would split it with him and he was not interested.

I left and continued walking back to the place I was renting, with my newly acquired Dino rock. My mania went into over drive, I was getting these ideas of what I was going to do with the money, it was this plan that has been brewing since my first manic episode in 2009. I contacted a university in Spokane and talked to an archaeology professor and told him the story. He asked me to come by. So I drove out to the university, but when I got there I was having a real hard time finding the room. I was trying to ask people directions and it was like they were repulsed by this dino-rock-egg thing. I would ask if they know where this building was and they would not have the time to talk. I walked around for a few hours and finally found the building, I found the room and there was a sign saying the room had moved to another building. I gave up looking and went on manic overdrive, feeling high as hell! I felt like my body was on autopilot.

I then realize I have been driving for like quite a while and didn't really have a destination. I suddenly realize I am at a border checkpoint, going into Canada! I get to the checkpoint window and am dumbfounded with not having a reason for entering the country, I don't even have a passport. The lady asks my what my reason for coming was and I hold up the egg and say "to donate this rock to science". She tells me to pull into an inspection port and go inside where I get interrogated by 2 immigration officers for what seems like hours. I was balls out manic and they were asking me to draw maps of where I thought I was and tons of very strange questions that did not make any sense to me. They searched my car and found some loose ammo, some spice that a buddy left in my car and confiscated it along with to of my regular e-cigs. I said I knew why they to the ammo and the spice but why they took the e-cigs. They told me they have machines that can detect illicit substances and could detect thc in my e-cigs. I did not argue but still to this day have no idea how they detected thc in a normal E-cig. Finally they let me go, I notice there is a single shotgun shell still in my cup holder that I know they left on purpose, why I don't know.

After I got let go things get a little fuzzy, the next thing I remember I am in a ER in cour'd'lane handcuffed to a gurney. I ask if I can go home, they say no. They tell me they need a pee sample to see if I am on drugs, I ask for privacy and they say no, so I say no, calmly. They say were going to do this the hard way, the male nurse calls in 6 security guys and they pin me down while the nurse forces a cath up mu penis violently. I spend two weeks in a behavioral health unit, acting pretty normal, loaded up on anti-psychotics. They tell me I am going to a state hospital called Idaho State hospital north, they hand cuff me and put leg shackles on and send me there with two police men, about a 3 hour ride. Let me make it clear I never exhibited any violent behavior just very strange behavior. I spent 4 months locked up with some seriously crazy people, it was not fun. People would come into my room at night and mess with me and staff didn't really keep a good watch. I finally got released to my parents back in California, my dad picked me up and I went home.

I was normal on the pills for about a year then the weird mania came back so strong I felt like I was on another world. Things were getting weird, like really bizarre! I awoke one morning and everything was not exactly right, I could only equate it to being off a few dimensions in the many worlds school of thought. I started to notice people were really friendly, like there was this harmony and world peace. I drove around for a while and was hearing the weirdest news, stuff that never happens, but It was happening. I go home I turn on the TV and it was more strangeness, example dr. phil was on and he announced that he wasn't really bald and pulled off a fake bald spot and had hair underneath. Then every channel was like this really progressive educational TV, the likes of which I have never seen, but in my opinion would be the programming for a utopia.

(Cont)

I was tripping out really bad and my mom was getting worried so she called the cops and I went to another behavioral unit by my house, I guess i was acting really off, so they shipped me to another more long term place in Marin County General in Northern California. I continued to act weird for about 2 months there, they would do weird things like during their meetings they would pull me in and ask what I thought they should do with the people in there. I was like I don't know. I finally was cleared and let go even though my ideas were still the same crazy! the doctor said you are very strange but not a danger to anyone. I went home and haven't had another manic episode in about a year.

So that's my story, that is what keeps me wondering every day. Wondering what it was, was I crazy, was it real? Was it real but not real at the same time. i don't know. Has anyone experienced this level of crazy or am I alone?

Bananas

What happened to the dinosaur egg? Still have it?

a reply to: proob4

Well, the guy who I was staying with who was a really good friend of mine(I thought) I left It there but the thing is, he wont talk to me either, because I scared him, not like being violent but with the crazy stuff I was saying. Like my ideas scared him? I was treading in some deep water of thought.

Interesting story to read!

you are not alone in what you have felt, not one bit, there are many people who have varying degrees of different mental states.
its great you found the courage to open up and speak about it.
do you speak to a therapist do you mind me asking? i think speaking of your feelings like this is likely to help you cope with what you are going through, opening up on this forum is evident of that if it has been bothering you for a while.

how are you getting on job wise, do you still work in the aviation industry?

Yeah not really talking to anyone about anything, just taking it easy. I am trying to find a job but am not very confident I am %100 yet. I can't really tell prospective employers that I might act crazy in the future, so I want to be sure I wont. Posting this is a way to get it out, I guess.

a reply to: bananashooter

I've had a lot of strange manic experiences as well and I'm still looking for answers to some of them. I believe firmly that parallel and alternate dimensions exist and that it is possible to be "harnessed" as a carrier agent in between worlds without being consciously aware of what's going on in between sometimes. I have no proof, of course, but that is my understanding.

I had copies of some documentation detailing events I have no conscious memory of, but for the most part it hasn't been entirely bad. Some of it has actually been quite interesting and insightful. I wish I could explain why and how this stuff happens.

Gold in volcanic rocks? Dinosaur fossils? Wow!
Sounds like you've been to some interesting places!

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Thank you, sounds like you have been off the beaten path too. Some of my experiences were truly amazing and insightful, but at a cost.

a reply to: bananashooter

Wow what a time you have had. Thank you for sharing your experiences I hope you feel some relief with sharing. What is bi polar type 1 is it different from type 2,is there more than 2. I am not a doctor but I would suggest getting a full full full blood test, one that check all your mineral and vitamins and all that kind of stuff as some mental illnesses are due to lacking in contain minerals, but i m not an expert or anything. I really hope you don't have anymore episodes like that again and if you do you keep safe. Sending you lots of love and mental healing.

That's the worst thing about mental health issues - those who do not understand the illness and hold it against you in the future. All these people you say aren't talking to you, it's such a shame that they are missing out on the friendship, it's not just your loss. We need to educate people more.

I've been around this sort of thing most of my life, I've never experienced any major mental health problems but have 'lived' on wards and been around people who have been manic or psychotic. I find it strange the mind can change, the person knows there's been a change yet doesn't quite attribute it to the illness until afterwards. I understand a lot has to do with how amazing the onset of mania feels - How could this great feeling be bad?

I avoid putting things like this up here but I think it fits:

Someone close to me suffered/suffers - Whilst experiencing the normal auditory and visual hallucinations the person also experienced some events that couldn't be explained. Somethings that make even me question what is real and what is not? The person became incredibly intuitive - All this was probably down to heightened senses but never the less was a phenomena.

It sounds like you're at terms with what has happened. Most people who have experienced episodes don't like to go back over them or even think about them so good on you for that.

I will say one thing - 'Spice' - if that's that legal version of weed - stay off it!

originally posted by: bananashooter

So that's my story, that is what keeps me wondering every day. Wondering what it was, was I crazy, was it real? Was it real but not real at the same time. i don't know. Has anyone experienced this level of crazy or am I alone?

Bananas

First thanks for sharing your story and being so lucid about it. There is quite a lot of stigma attached to psychological health that sometimes make this subject almost taboo here but it really shouldn't since more than 10% of people will experience something similar during their life. Meaning a lot of people on ATS. And the worse is when you cannot distinguish reality from a psychotic episode anymore. So congrats on trying to stay critical and to put things in perspective discussing it here.


My experience was a bit shorter than yours but I also had a psychotic episode that lasted for a few days/weeks and I can relate to a lot of the things you say.

First thing I want to ask you is do you smoke that spice stuff often? Because please, please stay away from it, it is known for causing psychotic breaks.

Second thing; did you sometimes had insomnia or very short nights during your manic episodes? Because I did (no sleep for 5 days) and it's at that time that things spiraled out of control. Lack of sleep induces hallucinations, this is well known. And these hallucinations will be like dreaming wide awake, because your brain is simply too tired so your subconscious will start dreaming and this will be mixed with reality around you. You can see things that are not there, hear things that do not exist, and most of the times you will simply interpret mundane things in totally bizarre ways ; like for example when you say people were almost looking "disgusted by your dino egg and not wanting to talk to you".

From you perspective you attributed this to the egg. But in reality in normal time anyone would understand that a manic person coming to you and speaking incoherently would make people feel really uneasy and wanting to leave.

This is the most common type of "hallucinations" you will get. Your brain starts interpreting reality in really bizarre ways. This is why you feel like being in another reality. You are in another subjective reality, but the objective reality is still the same. Another good way to know for sure if what you say/here is to ask for a third party's advice.

Like I could literally see something happening, then asking the person next to me "did you see this?" and they would tell me no. Then I know it was an hallucination and I should pay no attention to it.

During my psychotic break I learned a lot about how our mind works, and how to make sure it doesn't happen in the future. What helped me the most was to remember at all time that I was having a psychotic episode, to not take what my mind was thinking too seriously (that's when you start acting/talking bizarrely), to learn to trust others to help distinguish waking dream from reality, but most importantly to have a balanced lifestyle to avoid the factors causing the psychotic break:

- lots of sleep, good eating and exercising; this is called "grounding yourself" in many traditions and is an advice that remains valid for a whole lot of issues with the mind, including paranormal stuff
- avoid caffeine
- avoid drugs
- avoid alcohol
- not too much internet, a lot of time outdoor and having social contacts
- not taking conspiracy sites too seriously, not getting too invested in the esoteric/fringe topics



You went through a lot and I applaud you for your strength, your courage, and your desire to share this with others to integrate the experience and make sense of it, and to try to avoid it in the future.


You are not alone in this, a big percentage of the population experiences the same at least one. For example I left my apartment on winter night, during a snowstorm, and sought refuge in a monastery because I was sure demons were trying to use me to bring the apocalypse. I spent a few days there being delirious until my parents came back for me and I told them I was the antichrist (I have no idea why I told them that, words were leaving my mouth without me being really conscious about them). I was prescribed sleeping pills and finally managed to get sleep again. After a few more days things started to feel a bit better.

I went back to work soon and attributed my absence to a burn out. No one but my parents and the monks ever suspected anything about my break. This is because I knew I was going psychotic and I was afraid people would try to intern me and that I would stay insane forever. So I decided to try to shut the f* up as much as possible to avoid embarrassment, to ignore my visions as much as possible, and to try to sleep, to sleep, to sleep. It's not always easy though when you are delusional Even if the crisis only lasted a few weeks, there was also some kind of "afterglow" period that almost lasted years. I would still experience a lot of strange stuff, like tons of synchronicities, high intuition, etc, etc, but I was also much more detached from all this (I follow a strict rule to never take these seriously because this is what caused my psychotic break) so I just have a good chuckle when it happens and consider it as some kind of "wink" from the universe to me

I also read a lot on the subject and discovered all the similarities between psychotic breaks and similar processes happening among spiritual people (spiritual crisis/kundalini rise/etc...). Same process, same dangers, same advises, same necessity to keep control until it calms down.


Basically about your last question, it most likely wasn't real. I know it looked real, but the same way when you dream it looks real even if everything is crazy. Your mental censors are down during the break so you cannot distinguish imagination from reality anymore. When in doubt you can even ask someone if they see/hear the same as you. It really helps.

You should probably try talking to your friend you gave the egg to (and all the other people you freaked out), and explain them what really happened and how you lost control, and how you have it back now. Don't let them create a false image of you as "that insane guy talking crazy", you proved with this thread that these episodes are the exception and that you are willing to stay in control of your psychological health. If they are real friends they will understand.

If you have more question about my personal experience to put yours in perspective, don't hesitate!

Take care and thank you for raising awareness on this site where a lot of people live under the impression that it's always the others that slowly descend into delusion and psychosis. Nope, it can happen to anyone and I read a lot of threads posted by psychotics who do not realize they are having a crisis. This is bad.


Take care!

originally posted by: and14263
Someone close to me suffered/suffers - Whilst experiencing the normal auditory and visual hallucinations the person also experienced some events that couldn't be explained. Somethings that make even me question what is real and what is not? The person became incredibly intuitive - All this was probably down to heightened senses but never the less was a phenomena.

I had the same too. When psychotic I was almost psychic. I could read people like a mentalist and it would freak them out. It was most likely because, I believe, intuitive reasoning is all the deductions made by our subconscious brain without us being aware. Since when I was psychotic my subconscious was on overdrive, so was my intuition I guess.

I also had a few very strange experience like prescience (imagining an event 2 days before announced to me) and sometimes even the feeling my thoughts were influencing events around me, but honestly because of the lack of third party to validate I prefer to think of it as a byproducts of the hallucination.

But the whole experience definitely changed my vision of the world and left me, a hardcore scientist, with the strong belief that everything is more connected than it seems, and that it is possible that consciousness is less a byproduct of a brain and more of a characteristic of the universe that we can tap into, and which would explain what people call "higher levels of consciousness" as moments when you are able to tap into more consciousness surrounding you than usual. I know it sounds quite outlandish but a few recent experience showed that we cannot rule out the possibility that consciousness could be something permeating the universe.

a reply to: JUhrman

You guys need to... No, I'll re-phrase that.... It would be worth its weight in gold if people like you could explain your thoughts and experiences to other people who have suffered an episode. Everything you say in the posts above would be very helpful to those who feel doomed to reoccurring episodes. It takes a sharp mind to develop coping mechanisms (like your universe wink thing).

The person close to me still experiences synchronicities. This person says exactly the same as you, that they shouldn't be taken too seriously.

I wonder though, at that point of mania, before psychosis, how did you manage to know you yourself were becoming ill? I ask so I can shed light on the subject/ get an insight into coping mechanisms.

a reply to: and14263

I frequent ATS (and a few more esoteric boards) almost mainly in the hope of stumbling on people in need of help regarding their experience with psychotic breaks (or sometimes they give it other names) like I received similar help when I tried to learn about it online.

I made a few threads about it in the past (on a previous account) and it received a bit of interest.

There is already a lot of literature on the topic, even pleasant to read ones (like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) and through all my exchanges I noticed the most important is the willingness of the person to feel better and in control. If they look for help they will usually find it.

On the other hand, it's almost impossible to help a psychotic who refuses to admit he is not in a normal state.

If I can be of any help I will gladly do it but I admit that I have also a social and professional life so I cannot invest a huge amount of time working on the subject

I wonder though, at that point of mania, before psychosis, how did you manage to know you yourself were becoming ill? I ask so I can shed light on the subject/ get an insight into coping mechanisms

I did not really became aware I was heading that way during my manic state. Only during the break itself.

You know sometimes you are dreaming and you have a sudden realization the dream is simply too impossible and that you must be dreaming so you have a lucid dream or simply wake up? It was a bit the same.

The descent into delusion manic/state was slow (reading esoteric and occult books, getting obsessed with conspiracy), but the jump into psychosis was fast and violent. I had a panic attack and I knew something was wrong. But at the time I wasn't aware I was becoming psychotic since it never happened before so I started to imagine a lot of scenarios. As a good engineer I started to "test" the various possibilities and even if sometimes my hallucinations were comforting some of the most crazy theories, I also noticed a pattern:

I was basically hearing and seeing what I wanted to see/hear; or what I was thinking about at the moment. Like for exemple I was thinking "maybe I'm an UFO abductee?" voilà, I would see a UFO. Or "maybe I'm in the middle of the battle of Armageddon?" and I would suddenly see angels and demons among people.

Since everything seemed to point back at me (like suddenly all the books and movies and songs are about you, another common experience among people experiencing psychosis) so I started to entertain delusion of grandeur, like I was god or something. But it wasn't my usual character and I didn't like this.

So I decide to be more humble and look at this all again and it hit me that I was in fact a "god", but only the god of my limited subjective bubble. Everything that was happening around me, was directed at me, because it's how I was seeing the world through delusions of grandeur.

So I went back to my initial conclusion; everything I would see/hear was in fact subjective to me (something we often forget) and biased by my thoughts and beliefs of the moment. Obsessed by UFO? Seeing UFO. Obsessed by religious themes? Seeing angels. Delusion of grandeur? I was the center of MY universe.

When I realized this I felt a huge relief (that I wasn't really the center of THE universe) and laughed. Laugh helped tremendously and I used it often later to dispel many disturbing and unwanted thoughts.

It doesn't mean I could explain everything that happened (I was still left with a huge feeling of being more connected to everything) but at least I could make some sense of it and it wasn't as crazy as the other thoughts I was having before.



So really a lot of different things happened and my story is unique like each one, it's probably hard to pinpoint a single "trick" or moment when I realized I was having a psychotic break, and probably that the process was gradual with moments being better and moments being worse. Also your thinking is very disjointed at that time, and my memories probably are too, which makes it even more difficult to rationally cope with such an experience and to communicate it.

But I can say with certitude what helped the most was:
- initially having a very strong critical sense thanks to my education
- humor and laughing
- asking the point of view of other people
- not feeling judged (critical point, allowed me to be more open to other's opinion)
- getting support from my family (again, non-judgemental)
- a strong desire to actually not wanting to be "special" (I guess that point can explain why some have much more difficulties getting out of delusions of grandeur and similar psychosis, it sure is a boost for the ego to imagine you are interesting enough that you become the center of a prophecy or an interesting interlocutor for aliens).



Now I can identify better if I'm heading into manic territory before anything bad happens, but it's only because it happened to me once already. I don't think I could have guessed it the first time.

a reply to: JUhrman

Thanks for the insight and being open. You've explained this better than anyone I have come across in this area -professionals and patients alike.

If I could ask just one more question on the subject of medication. Do you have any experience of treating mania with benzodiazepines like Lorazepam or Diazepam? I know these won't touch psychosis but I remember witnessing the prescription of these drugs to patients and on all occasions the mania was slowed right down and coherence followed. They obviously aided sleep too. I guess I'm trying to work out if these drugs could be used as a preventative measure to psychosis if the mania is spotted early enough? Sorry if I'm asking too much.

originally posted by: and14263
a reply to: JUhrman

Thanks for the insight and being open. You've explained this better than anyone I have come across in this area -professionals and patients alike.

If I could ask just one more question on the subject of medication. Do you have any experience of treating mania with benzodiazepines like Lorazepam or Diazepam? I know these won't touch psychosis but I remember witnessing the prescription of these drugs to patients and on all occasions the mania was slowed right down and coherence followed. They obviously aided sleep too. I guess I'm trying to work out if these drugs could be used as a preventative measure to psychosis if the mania is spotted early enough? Sorry if I'm asking too much.

I actually never consulted about any of this and never got medicated besides sleeping aids to help me find sleep back.

I know it's stupid and I should have consulted but I was really afraid of being labeled "crazy" because of all the social stigma, so I tried really hard to figure it out and get better on my own.

I also know that it happened because of many aggravating factors like a depressive state (got dumped), substance abuse (weed), obsession with the paranormal/supernatural literature, lack of sleep, lack of sunlight (winter), lack of social interaction. I worked hard on these issues too and I'm in a much better place today than I have been for the last 10 years.

Probably I should go see a therapist and tell them all this to see if I'm OK, but unfortunately I have the feeling I figured more about what happened to me than they ever will with only my disjointed recollections. I'm doing well in life now and I never had any other episode beyond that one, and since I'm not really of a "let's go see the doctor" person I admit I consider that this problem belongs to my past now.

re: synchronicities:

I think it also helps I knew beforehand that Littlewood's law makes syncs really common. The problem is more that humans are really bad at guessing probabilities.

So they believe syncs are events with low probability when in fact they have perfectly normal probabilities.

A simple example is this 11:11 stuff people claim they see all the time on clocks. Well I do too. And a simple probability calculation will show you it's normal to see this many times per months or even week. Then it's only a matter of confirmation bias and people wanting really bad to be special (because they are bored in life) and suddenly seeing 11:11 on a clock means you are visited by angels.


I could go on with tons of other examples that can be easily explained (street lights going off, fortune telling, ...). But the basic is always the same; never trust a human when he tells you what he witnessed/experienced is "unusual" and impossible to explain.

Many people are simply not versed in maths and sciences, bored with life and will blow anything they don't understand out of proportion just to make their life less bland. Sorry if I'm harsh but it's like it is. Plenty of things discussed on ATS are simply because of bored people who suck at science and probabilities, because of confirmation bias, insanity and lack of critical sense.

There are genuine paranormal experiences and conspiracies but 99% of what is posted here isn't. Me seeing more syncs simply meant me being more observing and giving more significance to things which inherently have none.

This was also a mechanism that went on overdrive during my mania and psychosis: building and assigning meaning to things. We tend to forget nothing has a meaning unless we give it one. Meaning is a human construct, and a subjective one.

Yet how many threads on ATS are people saying "X happened/I saw Y so it must mean this"

Not it mustn't. It's your conclusion. And maybe your conclusion is completely biased. But it's a hard thing to accept so usually they prefer to keep living the lie than to admit random events happen and we try too hard to give them meaning because humans are wired to do that naturally. It's how our brain is designed.

a reply to: JUhrman

You're 100% correct when you say this:

I figured more about what happened to me than they ever will with only my disjointed recollections.

My first encounter with a 'national expert' (this guy was on TV as a professional too, not that that means anything) was in my 3rd year as a Psychology undergraduate. His mechanical non-intuitive way of diagnosing was painful to experience. It was almost like somebody had decided what type of person was needed to be the expert and picked the opposite.

Then unfortunately I met with many well-meaning and motivated nurses but their training was minimal (some had none) and their approach was not to objectively treat the patient but treat all patients the same, whatever the symptoms.

After witnessing a close friend falling deeper and deeper into psychosis, whilst in the care of professionals yet being locked in a horrible white room (like from a horror film) for 24 hours or more I took action myself. My uneducated mind forced the doctors to prescribe a sedative to make the friend sleep. This helped. However the professionals shouldn't have been listening to a guy off the streets in his 20s claiming to know more about this than them... Luckily they did, sadly I did.

The fact that you have: 1) developed coping methods, 2) can assess why what happened did indeed happen and 3) can give others this information you are giving me.... The fact that you have done all this by yourself really fills me with confidence and hope for the future of my friend.

It shouldn't take a thread like this but I fully respect and admire you JUhrman. If only others had access to your wise words the world would be a much better place.

originally posted by: and14263
It shouldn't take a thread like this but I fully respect and admire you JUhrman. If only others had access to your wise words the world would be a much better place.

Lol I thank you for your words and I apologize much if I've been an asshole to you in the past in some threads just because I didn't share your opinions

a reply to: JUhrman

You're not the asshole...

It's me not you

Cheers JHurman.