Reason to dare

I just had a thought today...

With so much emphasis on self fulfillment these days, and the opposing fear of being egotistical,

Something to remember is the value of living through others.

I mean, that sounds "wrong" somehow.. we all have been told to "eat up because children are starving in Africa"- (which didn't make any sense to me as a child).

But I've been handicapped for a few months now, unable to do much of anything, and with spring arriving, I suffer greatly by not being able to do many things- plant my gardens, work on my house, and ride my horse.

I found a girl I absolutely love, to exercise my horse for me, and she is a jewel- she not only spends lots of time doing fun stuff with my horse, but sends me pics each time. I get to live through her for the moment! Not only as the girl I was who wished someone would give me unlimited access to their well behaved horse (and never met that person) but right now, I can imagine myself back in the saddle. It is great.

It made me reflect upon the guilt I have felt in the past about being able to do things others can't. I have even limited myself because of that guilt at times. But I realize we can really enjoy seeing someone else live what we wish we could. It would be terrible if this girl stopped doing it because she felt bad for me, or stopped showing me what she was doing out of respect for my inability to do so.

I guess this has always been the basis for things like royalty or celebrity- people like to live through others sometimes. That 1%? Maybe secretly, we adore imagining being in that catagory- that is why they are there. That is why Marie-Antoinette was thrust into a life of meaningless luxury- so the masses could dream of being her.

We might have (collectively) more responsibility in the current state of things than we want to admit.

a reply to: Bluesma

. That 1%? Maybe secretly, we adore imagining being in that catagory- that is why they are there. That is why Marie-Antoinette was thrust into a life of meaningless luxury- so the masses could dream of being her.

Not me because when you see the 1% they arnt really any better off than many - they suffer health issues, ego issues, failure all them things the anyone else does. They do however have lots more cash and whoever said money doesn't buy happiness is wrong.

Don't get to far ahead of yourself, you were okay up to the last part of the paragraph.

many of these celebs could give a damn about you, or anyone else. They got there by clawing their way to the top and selling their personality, selling their life, selling out their family and friends to persue selfish desires.

They got there by selling their soul. That's what that term means. The 1% get there by scaming everyone around them.

You can't horde money without getting that money from somewhere. Profit dosn't just grow on trees. Someone has to shell out their hard earned time to feed these gluttonious pigs.

They deserve nothing less than the full wrath of God as millions are praying for.

They deserve to be abducted and prodded on medical tabels to find out what makes them such vile cretons of society.

But that's just me and my god complex talking, Don't judge unless you want to be judged as the observation in reality goes.

So im just saying i don't care if i get judged. I am stating the truth.



Now back to the main points before you drifted into self pity and trying to attribute it to others desires for fame and wealth. Your feelings ae authentic, Living a life through someone else is possible and people do it everyday. Should we? I mean not everyone is an ideal role model.

But we shouldn't stop from experiencing things ourselves. It's great this woman can live the life for you sending you pictures for something you wish you could be doing but can't. Let her know how you feel and how its making you feel better. Never give up, and remain positive. the moment we give up is the moment we grant the wish to disappear.

a reply to: Bluesma

Hiya Bluesma,

I think we have roles in life that we choose and then there are the roles that are thrust upon us by circumstance, environment or even genetics. Bad elbows too!

You've been very active in the outdoors for years and probably represented a role-model to others. Your current role has been thrust upon you and could have the effect of inspiring the young woman to value her health or strive towards success in life. You're intelligent and that might also leave an impression. Of course, we get to act out and represent many different identities throughout our time here. Right now, that girl's role could be to enthuse you towards swifter recovery.

I can understand the guilt. I had a lengthy time with chronic sciatica and developed a bad limp, lost muscle mass and aged in the face with the constant pain and sleepless nights. All this in my 30s. Prior to this, it often struck me that people were 'lazy' or 'faking' when they were young and permanently off work claiming sickness. Since then, I suspend judgement and can empathise with anyone, young or old, who lives with debilitating physical pain.

We can learn a lot from these ailments and about who we are and how we fit into our environment. Fortunately I was able to exercise my way out of chronic sciatica and you'll be able to get past the bad elbow.

I'm not sure if *we* elevate the super-successful to their wild heights. I'm not sure we have much say in the matter! Nevertheless, the ones we take a shine to tend to have traits and abilities we admire the most. Would I like to live the life of a 1%er? Yeah!

a reply to: AnuTyr

Oh I don't know if it is self pity, or an acknowledgement of responsibility.....

I feel pissed at the people who win the lottery and say they won't change their lifestyle, dammit- go for it! Live big!! -and let me watch!

I am suspicious now of any claims that a person doesn't have a part, deep down, that has thought- it would be so cool to be able to live without any concern for others. A part of me despises the idea, but to be violently frank with myself, there is a part that digs it.

a reply to: Kandinsky

Obviously, you've followed my situation, and are right on- I am struggling with many different feelings, and facing some of the possible metaphysical causes. I've gotten ahead in my job and feel guilty for those who are coming up against obstacles.
I've gotten better contracts.. I feel bad. Though if I force myself, I see they haven't put as much energy into it as I have.

Last night, in the ER, I was in the waiting room, and just when the paramedics wheeled in a man with a leg dripping blood, two male nurses began arguing about who was going to take me, and had me squeeze my way around the gurney. I felt awful. Jesus, there are so many people that suffer in the world, and I don't deserve anything. I have a sister who is retarded, and she idolizes me, but I just feel like crap because things are easy for me- in terms of personal challenge, she is a thousand times more worthy than I am, but gets so much less recognition for it.

I'm swimming in my own issues.... and also trying to get better.

a reply to: Bluesma

All im saying is don't feel down, You can always pick yourself back up. and never give up. Make goals and work towards them.

You don't have to let other people live a life for you, but live life yourself. But it's up to you how you value life and what you do with the time you have.

originally posted by: AthlonSavage
a reply to: Bluesma


Not me because when you see the 1% they arnt really any better off than many - they suffer health issues, ego issues, failure all them things the anyone else does. They do however have lots more cash and whoever said money doesn't buy happiness is wrong.

You are right there!

a reply to: Bluesma

When bright minds are under-stimulated they tend towards narcissism and self-recrimination. Self-pity chases guilt around in mentally decreasing circles. : )

There's always someone worse off as long as two people remain alive on this planet. There's nothing wrong with feeling sorry for ourselves either and we see it often enough in the animal kingdom with sulky dogs and featherless parrots.

All I can add is I hope you can enjoy the sun wherever you are and look forward to overcoming the elbow before summer's end.

a reply to: AnuTyr

Good point. I have trouble with the idea of living for myself. I always end up sabotaging myself so that I don't rise above others in anyway.

My dream? I wish I had become a teacher- of high school or college aged people, to watch them bloom and grow, and play a part in that process. I would have liked to be a high school philosophy teacher or something. I appease this desire through animal training- watching the animal grow a sense of self control - control over their own destiny (I can influence what experiences I have through my actions).

The girl who works my horse wants to specialize in therapeutic horsemanship (for the mentally or physically handicapped). I think I want to invest in her because she is doing what I wish I had done. She is only 15. But her mother has been handicapped by a terrible illness- she's a caretaker. We understand each other.

a reply to: Bluesma

Well you have my support, And with technology it only makes things easier. Like the internet. Without it we wouldn't be talking right now.

You could be teaching others online if you want but i don't know enough about your personal life to start giving you advice on decision making.

I can only give you this advice. I learn a little bit from everyone. And i feel the same way as you do about being a diabilitating situation where i feel i can do nothing to change the route.

So i am learning from you just as much as you are learning from all these awesome people here on ATS. Now apply it and work towards it.

I am changing my life and redirecting it towards a better direction, you want examples? I quit smoking and have been smoke free for what will be 2 months this april and and 2 weeks. From nearly a decade of smoking.
And that's just a minor habit as i will call it, i view it as nothing more. You need to view your disability and procrastinating as nothing more than a habit as well. Set those goals and work towards them. We all believe in you.

Its time you believed in yourself

I'm working towards my goal of traveling the world on an epic quest and journey. Your adventure is far from over, Teacher of man.