Constantly feeling like I want to go home (but I don't know where home is)

a reply to: ketsuko

That's why I say they are normal people and it's funny when I read from people here like they are almost a different species or even super vilains.

Most people start as idealistic and full of dreams when young and become usually more selfish and conservative growing older. Even more in the political or corporate world which are nothing but glorified battlefields.

There are no such things as "elites". They don't call themselves that way. People here do. To them they are normal people with human faults, and, it's true, sometimes above average wealth, influence or charisma.

But the way they are depicted here is a caricature deformed by the lens of bitterness. Most of the time they never force people following them.

Like hypnothists they are simply good at mesmerizing people.


If you knew how easy it is to manipulate people you would understand why they would never think of themselves as " elites". Having influence doesn't mean you are better. Just that you know how to fully use your capabilities.

And they also know they can only mesmerize the majority of people but not the most self conscious, critical and gifted ones. Why do you think dictators hate intellectuals and artists in the first place? Because intellectuals and artists are gifted too and can see through the lies and manipulation.


Did you know people like Stalin or Hitler were secretly requesting the help of a personal mentalist/hypnotist ?

To more sensible poeple the human mind is not much different from a computer with input commands and secret backdoors. I never understand why most people refuse to accept tnis truth out of fear that mankind is so easy to manipu!ate. And yet hypnotists and mentalists prove everyday how easy it is to make someone act unconsciously.

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a reply to: Develo

I have been looking into mentalism a lot lately. Very curious you should bring it up. Everything you have stated resonates with me, personally.

I think where some gifted people fail, is we are unable to program ourselves.

originally posted by: DeadSeraph
a reply to: Develo

I have been looking into mentalism a lot lately. Very curious you should bring it up. Everything you have stated resonates with me, personally.

I think where some gifted people fail, is we are unable to program ourselves.

I believe it's good not to program yourself? Full-consciousness, mindfulness, they are much better than automatic behaviors?


Where many gifted people stumble, is when they think no one understands them or is like them.

a reply to: Develo

I think you are on to something. But maybe thinking patterns also play a role?

originally posted by: DeadSeraph
a reply to: Develo

I think you are on to something. But maybe thinking patterns also play a role?

Can you develop what you have in mind? It's not very clear to me.

Thanks

a reply to: Develo

You seem to have a lot of negative things to say about "New Age" ideas. I personally agree with your thoughts as far as that is concerned. But new age crap aside, do you think that ones thoughts might impact their future? I.E if you think (vibrate) negatively you might bring negative things?

What if gifted people are just used to getting the # end of the stick because they are too smart for their own good, and they need to learn some positive thinking skills? I know I could stand to learn to think more positively.

originally posted by: DeadSeraph
a reply to: Develo

You seem to have a lot of negative things to say about "New Age" ideas. I personally agree with your thoughts as far as that is concerned. But new age crap aside, do you think that ones thoughts might impact their future? I.E if you think (vibrate) negatively you might bring negative things?

What if gifted people are just used to getting the # end of the stick because they are too smart for their own good, and they need to learn some positive thinking skills? I know I could stand to learn to think more positively.

Positive thinking is good for you and will have plenty of positive consequences (because you look more happy, because you are less stressed, because you go out more, because you take more risks, ...).

Gloomy thinking will bring bad things to your live in a similar way.

If someone want to call this a result of "vibrations" it's his choice. I personally believe in this case there is nothing mysterious about this so we don't need to use such esoteric words which bring nothing but confusion.

Yes your outlook on life has impact on your future. Simple causes and consequences process.


Gifted people are usually overwhelmed by negative emotions because of their high sensibility and desire for justice. Usually they either learn to build a shell around them, becoming more apathetic and less sensitive, either they learn to deal with it through acceptance or philosophy, either they suffer it.

But having to deal with the # end of the stick is certainly not a consequence of being gifted. If anything I prefer to be gifted than handicapped or born in a war torn country. I'm quite lucky.


It's not about being too smart for your own good, it's about feeling alienated by your difference, and not learning to use this intelligence correctly (because the education system is made for the majority of people).

a reply to: Develo

I would like to thank you for your participation in this thread. You have given me a lot to chew on in what sometimes seems to be the dark night of the soul.

originally posted by: DeadSeraph
a reply to: Develo

I would like to thank you for your participation in this thread. You have given me a lot to chew on in what sometimes seems to be the dark night of the soul.

So you had a mystical experience before?

a reply to: Develo

Define "mystical". I have experienced and seen things most people would consider ridiculous. Some of it I will never talk about here, some of it I have, and more of it I'm apprehensive about.

I like your logical approach to things, at any rate.

originally posted by: DeadSeraph
a reply to: Develo
I like your logical approach to things, at any rate.

Well I cherish sanity too much since I almost lost it once exploring some very dark corners of the human psyche

It's also maybe my engineer mind speaking.

originally posted by: DeadSeraph
Define "mystical".

A dark night of the soul is a feeling of abandonment that lasts for a long period after an initial strong experience of non-duality. In my opinion a true mystical experience is a feeling of an expended consciousness that goes much further than the body and ego, and is able to include up to the whole reality.

What some call "meeting with the divine", "having an ego death", "having a religious crisis" or even sometimes "having a psychotic break".


Other paranormal experiences can happen too around that particular one, but IMHO they are more like side-effects and consequences.

originally posted by: Realtruth
a reply to: DeadSeraph

Most people are feeling this, but many will not admit it.

The current illusion we call life might not be our true reality.

I have to disagree there. I mean, a lot of people that frequent a site like this may feel the same way, but not society as a whole.

It's not just my belief in 911 being an inside job, or my fascination with the ancient alien theory that brings me here. There just seems to be a lot more people here looking for a deeper reason for being than your average citizen who's riding out this existence of our's.

Don't get me wrong, they won't find it, none of us will find what we're looking for.

But never the less, logging into ATS helps remind me that there 'is' other's out there looking for something more in this life, just like I am. Whether we are all just crazy or not, some people are just so much more realer than your average person, imo at least.

Peace

a reply to: DeadSeraph

First I want to tell you its not because your personality is not an outgoing one. You can be able to "fit in" with any crowd, be the most popular person around, and still feel as if you don't really "fit in".

In person, I can make friends faster than anyone. Growing up we moved around a lot, and I was always the new kid, and always making friends my first day of being anywhere...but having people around you doesn't matter, you can still feel as if you are not truly home.

I spent my life feeling homesick for something ... what it was I never knew.. but I never knew a day without that feeling to a degree, I simply didn't dwell on that feeling though, it was just a quirk or a weirdness I had that I pushed away.

One day, not even trying to get rid of that feeling I moved to a new place (again) to start a new life (again) this time as an adult. I was 27 and decided to make a change that I thought would be best for my children to give them the best opportunities in life.

It was a small town with a small town type of atmosphere and the second time I went to the grocery store the owner of said store greeted me by my first name and asked how we were settling in... the second time at the bank all the tellers called me by my first name and smiled and asked how it was going...

somehow, and for some weird reason, in that town I was just automatically home, for the first time in my life, I felt like I really belonged there, the school my kid's went to, my neighbors, even my job... it was just perfectly right for me. In time things changed and I did have to move away... and that was the only place on earth I ever felt like I was truly "home"

I will never have it again, because that feeling of being home was simply being in an area where most of the people were just like me.. it wasn't that it was a small town.. it was their personalities and mine as a whole were just spot on.. and that is so rare a thing that I am going to say it was a fluke that goes against our very nature, since we are all so different and unique as individuals.

Now, wrapped in my husbands arms I have that feeling of absolute safety and peace and feeling of being home, but inside his arms is the only place on earth I think I will ever have that feeling again..

so no, your not alone.. just don't dwell on it, it really is just a fact of life... and this is why we look forward to heaven, our true home, and the one place we were meant to be. When and if it bothers you to have no earthly home, find your safety and security and peace wrapped up in the arms of God, during prayer..

I find home there every single day.

a reply to: DeadSeraph

I like people but they sort of drift away. I feel uncomfortable in large groups of people. I do best around inaniment objects like cars computers. Its really strange animals seem to seek me out. Like cats and dogs. Have you thought of a hobby? Buying maybe in inexpensive small digital camera, take pictures. Also volunteer work is good Too.

I can relate 100%.

I have always felt that way, since my earliest memmory at 4 years old. I was...different....detached from this world as though looking through a pair of eyes that are not my own. The older that I grew, the more I recognized this isolated feeling. I would do strange things at random, and have no explanation as to why. I simply did not think it to be odd or out of the ordanary. I had little to no friends in school, as the few I did have would fall in place with "The Herd" and move on in life...while I was left behind with my thoughts and confusion.

It is the oddest feeling, but not always a bad one I have come to realize. It is almost like a gift; like we were meant to watch, interract, and learn in different ways so as to help the world grow. I havent found a way to do this, but I can recognize what most have spoken of in their own replies to your message. These are some effects that come with what we are experiencing:

The feeling of Isolation. Not in a negative sense, so to say, but one that is longing and powerful.

Deep Thinker. We over-analyz and think long and hard about simple things. Like...how did we come up with the word, "word." Too much thinking is often our downfall, as it only makes us more aware of how different we are. At least to ourselves.

Empathy. Picking up on what other people think, feel, do on daily bases, and so forth. It can be overwhelming, and cause us to avoid large crowds, or even small crowds. I know for myself I have to leave the room for a few minutes before I fall into complete panick attack and loose my marbles. Work often becomes a chore, especially since I am in sales and deal with groups at a time.

Writers. Sometimes an escape from this confusing place is needed. Writing and diving into a story where what we experience in our lives makes sense creates a sort of confort barrier from the constant struggle of figuring things out. Though we must be careful not to fall into a false sense of security in a fictional world. I did that for years, and all I have to show for it is an extra 70lbs to drag around.

Love for nature. I feel the most at peace surrounded by trees, long golden feilds, and deep into an earthy enviornment far away from civilization. I cant remember the last time I have felt it, as I never have the time nor the funds in this point of my life. It saddens me, because I do miss it very much.

But most importantly....that constant feeling of wanting to return to a place where I feel free. FREE. I dont know why that word is so strong, but when I think about it I feel as though I could just float away. To return home, wherever this home is. I think this feeling comes from our vast "knowing." You know the one I mean. Where you can stare up at your ceiling at night and imagin the beyond is so close you could reach out and touch it. We are aware of the energies around us. Of the other existances, and it awakens a primal urge to return to the source of our knowledge. Who knows how long we will have to search before we find it? Does it mean we will continue to feel out of place? Yes and no. We have the gift to fit in, we just havent found "WHERE" we want to fit in yet. Our day will come. Until then, we are just us. No more, no less.

a reply to: CylanKail

we call them lighthworkers

originally posted by: Layaly
a reply to: CylanKail

we call them lighthworkers

I am not familiar with that term, though I am a sceptic when it comes to aliens and cosmic theories.

a reply to: CylanKail

it is a alien theory.. sorry
wrong joke.. I really am sorry..

I feel alienated that is the term I meant

There is no need for you to appologize. I do not hold others' beliefs against them, nor do I judge them for it. I appllogize if I missed the joke. I do tend to not understand most of them. As they say it, "Flies over my head."

a reply to: Layaly