a reply to: Lovely1973
All of this is terrible of course, and no one would fail to understand how utterly upside down your head must be at this point, no one who has not
been through the wringer anyway. The fact is that all of this seems very familiar to me, and I think you might benefit from some realism here.
My mother and father should have divorced when I was about two years, maybe three years old. Instead they "kept it together" for the kids, which was
more about my mothers wish not to put my sister and I through that situation, than it ever was about my fathers determination to stay in our lives as
a member of the family. He was given the option of leaving, but he confided in me much later that it was simply easier to remain where he was for a
while longer. Yeah.
He was absent from my life, despite the fact that he was physically present. This continued until I was sixteen, at which point he divorced my mother.
The year after that he had taken up with some vapid moron he met at his Church, of all places. A year after that, he disowned my sister and I. He
always resented the effort he had to put into us, every second, every spent pound, every ounce of effort he ever expended on behalf of his family.
Him doing that, waiting around with all that resentment and anger, lead to a very oppressive, grey backdrop to life. I have no doubt that things
would have been tough without my father in the family, because at least he worked, but in terms of how free we all would have been to pursue our
happiness, in the knowledge that the members of our household all loved one another dearly, I think it would have been better.
This man that you have this history and these children with seems as narcissistic as they come, if what you have said is anything like a good
indicator of what has happened, a trait which once again, is very familiar to me. If all is as you have said, then you should think about divorcing
him seriously. Remember, keeping it going for the kids is a noble thing to try to do, but not necessarily wise, or indeed any less likely to cause
heartbreak later on.
You deserve better than a man who will go out and cheat on you, while you look after his children. That is frankly abominable behaviour!
certainly cannot see you ever trusting him again, given his conduct and you cannot have a marriage where there is none of that present.
25-1-2015 by TrueBrit because: Added clarification