Nervous Chinese officials search pigeon anuses for bombs!

Yes, it's true. It may be the single funniest news headline I have ever read.

Officials in China this week examined the anuses of 10,000 pigeons that were set to be released today in celebration of National Day, amid government fears of a possible terrorist attack. According to reports from state-run media outlets, the birds had their feathers, legs, and anuses searched for "suspicious objects" yesterday, before being packed onto a truck and sent to Tiananmen Square in Beijing for today's ceremony. Many reports on the probe disappeared from China's tightly-controlled media after being published, though some articles and tweets remain online. The entire process was reportedly videotaped.

To be fair, during WWII there were the Bat Bombs. But, really, China? LMAO

The country is ramping up security ahead of today's celebrations, though some critics of China's sprawling government say the pigeon probe hits a little too close to home.

Because the citizens of China are subject to this same type of intrusive searching, should they get jammed up by the police or something. China isn't really the beacon of personal liberty, and many are all to familiar with this kind of treatment.

10,000 pigeons no longer have any dignity in their pigeony little lives.

Source

just spike the pigeon food with a few kilos of laxatives, for 10,000 anyway, and feed them 10 minutes before release, not deadly but highly effective.
would definitely make for interesting T.V. for the national day celebrations.

a reply to: AnonyMason

The problem with pigeon bombs is that the little buggers fly straight back again.

Wow.... There are so many ways I could get myself banned from here for this.

Who would have thought one would go out of their way to make a bird feel so... cheep.

In this case I guess a bird in the hand is worth two in the tush... er, bush.

I suppose this is probeably the least of their probelems.

*groans

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I know! It's just a set up for some colorful commentary.

Something along the lines of a bunch of government scientists.... never mind i really won't go there.

There's way more efficient ways terrorists cause terror. I think these violated birds were unnecessarily , well, violated.

Another interesting ATS milestone...


Pigeon butt bombs...

PMDs?

a reply to: AnonyMason

Better get a bigger hat ...

originally posted by: SLAYER69
Another interesting ATS milestone...


Pigeon butt bombs...

I wonder if the scientists who were told to do this were having as much fun as we are?

Well, probably not, come to think of it...

My sides hurt.

originally posted by: Gully
PMDs?

I thought they were already that before now?? Have you seen what a group of them will do in under 5 minutes?

this reminds me of the medieval cat bombs! lol

a reply to: AnonyMason

WMD's (Weapons of Mess Destruction)

What's next?

E-bowel-a?

originally posted by: beezzer
a reply to: AnonyMason

WMD's (Weapons of Mess Destruction)

What's next?

E-bowel-a?

ISIS - It's shi**y, It's shi**y!

a reply to: AnonyMason

What that means, that we will be "inspected" from our rear ends now because the scare of bombs in our anuses?

Yes I been sarcastic.

You know China always have this crazy news once in while that are really nothing but propaganda

a reply to: marg6043

Someone in a TSA office just started giggling.

I had to look twice to see it if this was in the jokes section. Sadly, it's not.

It sounds funny but, if you think about it, the US has been doing this for quite a while with the TSA, DHS and every police force across the country checking every nook and cranny (and orifice) for terrorist activity.

People are so afraid of being attacked that they're suspicious of everyone and everything. No one feels safe and it keeps people looking over their shoulders. Countries spend billions of dollars every year to protect themselves from terrorism to the point of becoming bankrupt. And this is how the terrorists win.

originally posted by: beezzer
a reply to: marg6043

Someone in a TSA office just started giggling.

and another just had a light bulb moment. Ting

Anyhow I gotta fly, I'm off to China.

So.....inquiring minds want to know...just how big of a bomb do the chinese think will fit up a pigeon's backside?

Somewhere I think there is actual written guidance, we need to get a copy.

originally posted by: AnonyMason
Yes, it's true. It may be the single funniest news headline I have ever read.

Officials in China this week examined the anuses of 10,000 pigeons that were set to be released today in celebration of National Day, amid government fears of a possible terrorist attack. According to reports from state-run media outlets, the birds had their feathers, legs, and anuses searched for "suspicious objects" yesterday, before being packed onto a truck and sent to Tiananmen Square in Beijing for today's ceremony. Many reports on the probe disappeared from China's tightly-controlled media after being published, though some articles and tweets remain online. The entire process was reportedly videotaped.

To be fair, during WWII there were the Bat Bombs. But, really, China? LMAO

The country is ramping up security ahead of today's celebrations, though some critics of China's sprawling government say the pigeon probe hits a little too close to home.

Because the citizens of China are subject to this same type of intrusive searching, should they get jammed up by the police or something. China isn't really the beacon of personal liberty, and many are all to familiar with this kind of treatment.

10,000 pigeons no longer have any dignity in their pigeony little lives.

Source

Lets get DHS to start checking birds

a reply to: AnonyMason

Technically, in birds, these are called cloacae, not an anuses...

Amusing nevertheless to read! S&F