Is there anybody out there ?

Hello fellow members,

Allow me to first and foremost say that this may be a very long read for some. The events described I can assure are very much reality for me. however, your input is still very much appreciated if you are a non believer, and I look forward to reading it. The reason I have made this thread is to delve a little into my own experiences with the paranormal and to get your thoughts and/or experiences as well if you are comfortable sharing.

This is nowhere near a compendium of all my experiences but rather two experiences I would like to test the waters with so to speak (as such, many details will be omitted for the sake of the reader)

First of all, I would like to sum up my first thread on this site by letting you know that since childhood I have been subject to many experiences that would be deemed paranormal. That being said, I cannot stress enough regarding my own stress' and disbelief regarding the subject over the years. Had it not been for the often shared (verified) experiences between myself and others I would truly think I have gone mad.


A little background information:


Wether it be "shadow people", "demons", "UFO'S" or simply what is termed "ghosts", I have seen them to varying degrees throughout my life. Furthermore I have been followed by a negative entity for quite some time. Often times when I have had "fits" of anger, my eyes have quite literally turned black (witnessed by others and myself) and I am often noticeably followed by a shadowy entity which seems to thrive on that particular emotion. To add a bit more to this, the fits are often accompanied by strength that is much more than my own, and I often speak as if two voices are converging into one. Yes I am aware of how crazy this is.

Delving more into this, I have had two ex girlfriends become "possessed" and try to literally kill me. Both times their eyes turned black as mine do when I am angered. Over the years I have also known sickness that most people do not experience in their lifetime, but yet seem to always get over it without medical attention (I quite literally have foregone hospitalization to prove to myself how real the phenomenon is).



Messages from beyond:

At the height of my studies into the hermetic orders, and after performing certain rituals..I began receiving telepathic messages. Subsequently I wrote a book as I was instructed to do by those who were giving me instruction. This was at the age of 18 and the messages lasted for the span of one year. They were abruptly terminated after I had disobeyed my orders to not release my work until the "time was right". After I had given some of my writings to people I trusted, my hard copies and electronic copies suddenly vanished as if they never existed to begin with.

Unbelievable right ? I have had a hard time understanding the last part myself due to the fact that my memories regarding the writings seem to be obscured at best. What I had written about mostly concerned destiny, and the matter in which we may determine our own through the study of the universe and certain "universal laws".


A personal theory:

It has often been a theory of mine that the world we each live in is like our own personal universe. The mind plays the part of "GOD" and controls the events that occur within our own universe. What the mind holds to be true subsequently becomes reality within the space it is allowed to thrive in. An example I often toy with is the one in which those who find out they are terminally ill often die sooner due to the mind giving up on the body.

Once the willingness to continue is no longer in the mind, the personal universe then comes crashing down, and the decline is often immediate. Whereas, those who believe they will get better often do to a certain degree. This can further be strengthened by prayer for instance which in reality is a form of the mind connecting to the personal universe allowing the intention to become something concrete physically.

A great teacher of mine once told me that in order to see the whole truth, one must be willing to see the argument from both sides and make a conclusion based on all the facts or opinions. As such, the above paragraph may invariably speak volumes if true to my own experiences. If the mind is the equivalent of "GOD" and the world is viewed through our own personal "universal view", the possibility is very likely that it truly may be "all in my head". Given the shared experiences with others, I can only say that perhaps my own universal view was strong enough to then influence those of others, again making something concrete out of "thin air".

I do hope this whole mess of a thread has been written in a manner that is understandable, and I look forward to your opinions. By the way I wrote this while half asleep so please bear that in mind lol.

a reply to: threeeyesopen

Some how I knew what this thread was about before I got to the part about personal realities. I literally thought to myself, "oh this is going to be about personal realities", and then the next paragraph, confirming it, unfolded.

And for the record, I have had the same thoughts and sensations. I think what is causing it is a sort of lag, in that we can sense the spirit of our environment before it manifests something, coupled with hyperawareness, and that causes the weird "everybodies a robot" sensation.

Basically, it is us being too perceptive - seeing too many connections - being too superstitious even.


Let me ask you something weird... do you think a lot? I do, but what is weird is that, lately, I have been thinking (fully conscious awareness thinking) and suddenly hear my body snoring, as if my awareness and body had detached. And I know I don't always snore so there is no telling how often it has happened. But my point and question is that: Maybe you are thinking too much?

Just nod if you can hear me.

Hey there,

Wether it be "shadow people", "demons", "UFO'S" or simply what is termed "ghosts", I have seen them to varying degrees throughout my life. Furthermore I have been followed by a negative entity for quite some time. Often times when I have had "fits" of anger, my eyes have quite literally turned black (witnessed by others and myself) and I am often noticeably followed by a shadowy entity which seems to thrive on that particular emotion. To add a bit more to this, the fits are often accompanied by strength that is much more than my own, and I often speak as if two voices are converging into one. Yes I am aware of how crazy this is.

Delving more into this, I have had two ex girlfriends become "possessed" and try to literally kill me. Both times their eyes turned black as mine do when I am angered. Over the years I have also known sickness that most people do not experience in their lifetime, but yet seem to always get over it without medical attention (I quite literally have foregone hospitalization to prove to myself how real the phenomenon is).



Messages from beyond:

At the height of my studies into the hermetic orders, and after performing certain rituals..I began receiving telepathic messages. Subsequently I wrote a book as I was instructed to do by those who were giving me instruction.

To be perfectly honest, you seem to be experiencing demonic oppression due to your delving into ritualistic activity and directly communicating with "those who were giving (you) instruction." If you do not seek spiritual wellbeing through God, who I wholeheartedly believe exists outside of our own minds, you are going to hurt yourself and others down the road during one of your black-eyed fits of rage. No one wants that for you and I hope that's not what you want yourself - to be followed around every day by negative entities who only desire to speak through you, wreak havoc through you, and destroy you and others. That's not healthy.

A personal theory:

It has often been a theory of mine that the world we each live in is like our own personal universe. The mind plays the part of "GOD" and controls the events that occur within our own universe. What the mind holds to be true subsequently becomes reality within the space it is allowed to thrive in. An example I often toy with is the one in which those who find out they are terminally ill often die sooner due to the mind giving up on the body.

Once the willingness to continue is no longer in the mind, the personal universe then comes crashing down, and the decline is often immediate. Whereas, those who believe they will get better often do to a certain degree. This can further be strengthened by prayer for instance which in reality is a form of the mind connecting to the personal universe allowing the intention to become something concrete physically.

I do believe in the power of prayer. I also agree that the will to survive is essential to survival. But I believe the soul exists beyond the realm of one's own mind. My mom drowned in a pool five years ago when I was 24, on my birthday in fact. She was revived, put in a coma, and brought out 20 days later. She never moved a muscle from the neck down voluntarily again, for one year and four months, then she passed away. She was lucid at first and we spoke and loved on one another, but the many complications the drowning created for her body began to kick in almost immediately. She continued to deteriorate mentally and physically for one year and four months. I was with her every single day of that time. No one ever told us or told her she was terminally ill but we knew she was dying. I prayed all day every day, hundreds of people prayed all day every day, for my mother.

I mention this to say that God calls people at times that are out of our control and in his control. If my mind was playing the part of God and controlling the events that occurred within my own universe, my mom would not have a drowning accident and suffer horrendously for 16 months. If her mind was playing God, believing it was in control of the events in her universe, her death would not have occurred when in did, in the way that it did.

A great teacher of mine once told me that in order to see the whole truth, one must be willing to see the argument from both sides and make a conclusion based on all the facts or opinions. As such, the above paragraph may invariably speak volumes if true to my own experiences. If the mind is the equivalent of "GOD" and the world is viewed through our own personal "universal view", the possibility is very likely that it truly may be "all in my head". Given the shared experiences with others, I can only say that perhaps my own universal view was strong enough to then influence those of others, again making something concrete out of "thin air".

If you want to ultimately influence the universal view of others and make concrete changes in others' lives, you basically acknowledge that we, humans, seek God by looking beyond what our own mind offers us independently. We search far and wide to find God and our minds are but a tool in discovering matters of the heart. The wise one can discern God from man.

a reply to: threeeyesopen

I would have to agree with Truthlover. My story is that I`ve been once tested myself when while meditating, I bravely called upon things to come to me, no matter who they are. At the same moment when done that I froze from fear. I thought myself..."that was spooky"...and never repeated this shi.t again. Yet being open minded and oversensitive for these sorts of things I must have summoned or manifested sth. At first it was ok, but then wierd things started to happen such as misplaced things, feeling a presence or being watched when no one was there, sudden temperature changes, hearing things, depressing to agressive thoughts, speaking jiberish for no reason and fear from things and people. It was just getting worse and I thought I was going insane.

Then I somehow managed to make myself aware of these things and realise this is not me really. I mean it was not who I was, who I am. That was a first step, but not the solution. Even though I payed attention to these things and wanted to control them, it was still getting worse. Every time I was being overwhelmed by fear and negative thoughts and rather stayed away from other people...(my personal opinion)cause this thing or entity or whatever it is wants to isolate you making you do and feel things so it can thrive and feed from you...

Then wierd thing happened as the 2 missionaries appeard in front of my door. The first thing was that I wanted to close a door but for unknown reason didn`t. Then we talked like for half an hour about God and I told them that I would only like to study religions for searching out the truth and history. But then 1 of the missionaries ask me if I feel that anything is out there that is greater than us. I then just replied what I have always felt but not paying attention to. Yes there is but not in the likeness of what religions are teaching you. Then when they left, it got me wondering for the rest of the day. I found out that I really have always believed in something divine that is good and watching over us. A grand presence or a source of all things(whole universe or multiple universes). It can be further discussed what it is....but would like to stay on this topic.

The point is that I found out that I actually believe and has always believed in God. Only percieved God differently. I started to pray to him/her/it by being honest in confessing all my sins and promising I will do better in my life. After "introducing" my real self, I then asked God to help me defend against the negative presence I`m powerless against. And over time...guess what it really helped...things have changed like 180. Some things like experince and knowing that there is more out there will stay forever, but everything else negative is really gone.

Now whether all of this was manifested by my mind into my personal reality or not, I cannot say. It`s possible that this was all in my mind but I choose not to believe this. In my reality there is God and he/she/it helped me. Also I strongly feel that if you decide to pray to God, you must really believe cause otherwise it won`t work. And by God I mean a greater energy/source/entity(who or whatever you percieve as God) that is pure and good in nature.

It never came to the things you are experiencing, but could if I had`t become aware soon and then helped by God even before I started to pay attention to him/her/it. I mean, there are not many missionaries passing by here. And the timing was suspiciously right...Now looking at it, it was definitely a sign which is also one of the reasons why I choose to believe what I believe...

Hope this can help you...

a reply to: threeeyesopen

I'm curious which Hermetic Order you were a part of or studying course material from. The Golden Dawn? Aurum Solis? Thelema? The Theosophical Society? A different one? There are a number of Orders, and each have a slightly different view on the nature of magic and the Art.

Your ellipse after mentioning "certain rituals" is also a serious tease. There are many, many members on these boards who understand and practice Theurgy, who have participated in, and lead, various group rites and rituals. You don't need to be coy. Telling us which ceremony you performed can only help us better understand the results you received.

From what I gather though, it sounds like you believe you contacted your Holy Guardian angel, most likely through the use of ceremonies contained in "The Sacred Magic of Abra-melin the Mage," much like how Aleister Crowley received dictation for his "Book of the Law" from Aiwass, channeled through a Scarlet Woman, after performing the ceremony to contact his Holy Guardian Angel.


~ Wandering Scribe