posted on Aug, 7 2014 @ 11:12 AM
I just woke up from a bad dream involving an old friend and a misunderstanding. I returned to an absolutely beautiful overcast gray day, and grabbed a
cup of coffee...hair in my face, eyes cast downward...still fuming from the transgressions that had occurred in the dream world.
Ugh. Coffee isn't enough. *sigh*
Let's log in and check the social updates and see what ATS has to say.
The first thread I read immediately fouled my mood again.
Won't say which one because I don't wish to pull them or the subject matter into this whole mess.
I don't want to put this negative energy out there through the spoken word, I don't wish to be a Debbie Downer...but if I don't vent it somehow
I'm going to explode.
Ideally, I could just walk around town randomly flipping the bird to anything and everything that gets my goat until whatever is inside me has diluted
itself to a more stable level.
Usually I would ask forgiveness for allowing myself to feel such negative emotions, but you know what? Today I don't rightly give a flying flip.
Today I'm going to just let myself feel and stew and gripe and complain if I feel like it.
Seems fair enough...I usually spend all my time trying to pull others out of a funk, listening to their seemingly endless rants and tales of woe and
misgivings, all the while trying to provide some sort of comfort and bright side to help ease their suffering.
So I'll be damned if I'm not going to indulge myself this emotive state, even if it's uncomfortable....everyone else gets to and what's good for
the goose is good for the gander.
Oh sure, there's always the chance that if I go outside and start flipping off inanimate objects that some busybody will grab their cell phone and
call the authorities to report unorthodox behavior because their "widdle feewlings got hurt". Oh, such a frail and dear innocence. If only I had
that luxury. I really wish they could continue on with their blissful idyllic lives free from the uncomfortable bane of witnessing beings such as
myself.
I don't want to lash out at anyone. I don't want to transfer this anger to another. I just want to be able to flip off a fire hydrant and be done
with it without a extra-sensitive or paranoid casual observer giving any more weight to the action than I do. It's just a finger. It's just a fire
hydrant. It's not some complex metaphor or grand public statement. It's not an affront to the infrastructure or anything beautiful. It's just
dense metal capable of withstanding the wrath of that particular digit....and it doesn't care. It's seen worse things in it's day I'm sure.
Nothing personal meant, nothing personal taken.
*sigh*
Another cup of coffee....and who knows - maybe a cute picture of some impossibly adorable animal making wisecracks will do me well this morn.
Thanks for reading.
Sorry to bother you with such trivial complaints.