Ambiguity

Today I was reflecting upon Ambiguity.

Resolving ambiguity seems to be a common concern for people. I personally tend to experience the world in a deep way, simultaneously aware of exterior events and others, while being aware of my own inner events and mental objects. That doesn’t bother me- on the contrary, I find it makes the existence seem to have more dimensions than three.

I am very aware of ambiguity in myself- that I am frequently of many minds, that I can even desire two opposing things at the same time, have two opposing ideas at the same time.

The question of “resolving” that ambiguity only seems to come around in practical terms of choice in the everyday world- what will I do next? My body being in a framework of time and space, I cannot do two opposing actions at the same time, I must make a choice between them.

Even in opinion, I must make a stand on foot or the other- though sometimes that is really only for the sake of others, to enable them to “fix” their perception of me in relation to them, and choose their reactions to me in accordance.

I think I sometimes prefer to keep to myself for that reason- to enjoy that ambiguity, not have to make a choice; to not limit my experience of self. To engage means to create a shadow self, of possibilities not chosen, of the rejected and repressed.

Once you acknowledge those parts, they persist to exist, even once they are rejected and pushed into the darkness. That does not give them more power- on the contrary- you can better control that which you own. I think it is more when we do not acknowledge them that they gain power to overcome that choice in moments of weakness.

I do engage, and I do choose, and I do so after discerning all the other elements involved, and my current goals and intents, and what best serves those. But in some cases, I choose to alternate. I may like both oranges and apples, but eating both at the same time is not possible, so I’ll one today, the other tomorrow, or even one right after the other, the same day.

It all depends upon what the desire is, and how much my perception of myself can handle the contrasts… and how well those around me can handle my contrasts. Others seem to be so much more comfortable with stability of character.

I have always joked that my dream is to have two husbands. It is really just a joke, but it expresses something real within me- the desire to let the different and opposing “selves” experience the interaction between the body and the material world. Maybe not at the same time, maybe in alternance. There is no ambiguity about the fact that they ARE aspects of me- these are not different characters, I do not have multiple personalities. There is a point of consciousness in the middle that is “I”. But THAT point only has one goal- to experience. Experience existence… in various ways.

Perhaps I am schizo? If so, it isn’t that bad an experience….. ☺

a reply to: Bluesma

Interesting perspective. I know you are female and I suspect that this process of ambiguity resolution may very well underpin the differences between the sexes. Maybe not ?.

Personally, like you, I need to spend some time resolving ambiguity with respect to other people and the lives, situations and attitudes that others have, not just towards me but to others and the world generally. For good or bad I am highly empathic. That empathy leads me to, in some sense, compromise my own personal lack of ambiguity and subsequently engage in ambiguous situations. That engagement is entirely calculated, as I know that, regardless of the outcome, I will remain.

Beyond that I have to say that I have no real personal ambiguity, certainly there are choices and decisions. But any ambiguity is cast aside prior to determining any direction.

Kind Regards
Myselfaswell

a reply to: Bluesma

Well if any of that makes you schizo, you'll be in good company (i would think). It's strange to see this topic being brought up. A little earlier tonight, I was having an internal struggle regarding the inability to probably interpret the signals from the external reality, due to the ambiguity of the signals. I keep telling myself I have to please develop a system so that these kind of frustrations might be avoided. Most of the time, I take it as a sign to just, reset, so to speak. Sometimes I liken it to catching a bus. Sometimes you'll miss it, but eventually another will come.

Very deep thinking, thank you for sharing.

Regarding the impossibility of eating an apple and an orange at the same time, doesn't fruit salad resolve that aspect of your thought?

I mean, metaphors of course, but there is a metric equivalent in there I think. Food for thought anyways.

It's dribble... sometimes I need to dribble though. It also got my husband and I into a deep interesting discussion, when he asked what I was writing about this morning.

One of our kids is more like me in mentality (highly empathic, sensitive, even with some abilities in healing that started as a child), which also gives way to specific challenges, that my husband doesn't easily understand. Putting this subject into words better enabled me to talk to him and help him understand our son better... therefore better equipped to interact in a constructive way with him.

Perhaps my consciousness of this ambiguity is a result of being so empathic- consciousness of others and the less conscious exchanges we have with them (through body language, for example) makes the world, but sometimes confusing!

It is harder to have an argument with someone when you can see their point of view and feel their emotions, as well as your own!

It can make one tend to avoid conflict altogether, or not be assertive enough in relation to others.

My husband is very different- I watch him interact with others, and I notice that he does not register consciously any hints that person is not react or being anything other than what he expects or desires of them. He just plows on as if that flitting look of discomfort or whatever did not even cross their face!

I wouldn't have missed that- it would have set off a similar emotion within me, and a rapid calculation of what I did or said precisely that they react to, and a re-calculation of my approach, or even my intent, to adjust as well as possible (so that we head for some sort of interaction which is constructive for both).

He just keeps going... and eventually people adjust to him instead, because it is obvious he is not going to interact with anything other than what he expects. Tis a strange thing. Luckily he is a good man at heart, wanting the best for everyone ultimately- because otherwise, such a will could be abusive.

But something he explained to me is that before he met me, life was of a total simplicity- I want, I do, I consume, point blank. Like an empty object. Then through me, he began to awaken to a whole deeper part of himself- like being in a boat, speeding along, and then I pointed down and said "look into the water! There's a whole world there! There is life! In many forms!" and pointed up- "Look up there! There is clouds and birds and stars! Life is there too!"

And life became suddenly very complex, sometimes confusing, sometimes a bit challenging..... but richer. The object became full of real life. He says he is happy it happened.

I found that to be such a beautiful declaration. Same idea as the jokes about women being impossible to understand and without any sense of reason or logic, but expressed in a positive way.

But I told him too, that I learned from him to sometimes stop being engrossed in all the life in every direction and choose a direction, focus straight ahead and just go there- in all simplicity.

This is really just a play, an enactment of what happens between the right and left brain perhaps- or the male and female within us each.

I have no informative post to make, only mind wanderings, that hopefully can stimulate others to wander too....

a reply to: Bluesma

Mind wanderings indeed. I will provide you with a cautionary note;

I watch him interact with others, and I notice that he does not register consciously any hints that person is not react or being anything other than what he expects or desires of them

I'm sure you realise by now that such a statement as above is presumptuous, and I will also presume you realise the implications of such presumption. All good.

Beyond that, and getting back to your musing over ambiguity. Significant ambiguity only exists in the absence of a relevant quantum of observation. In reading your posts, you've obviously garnered the required quantum of observation, why the ambiguity ?. Are we talking about really small and nearly irrelevant things or really really big things ? Or maybe you're just "schizo" ?. If that's not a question laced with ambiguisnificationalisationing, I ain't heard one.

Kind Regards
Myselfaswell

a reply to: Bluesma

A good read with coffee. You might enjoy De Beauvoir's Ethics of Ambiguity. Thanks for sharing a little peak into yourself.

originally posted by: myselfaswell
a reply to: Bluesma

Mind wanderings indeed. I will provide you with a cautionary note;

I watch him interact with others, and I notice that he does not register consciously any hints that person is not react or being anything other than what he expects or desires of them

I'm sure you realise by now that such a statement as above is presumptuous, and I will also presume you realise the implications of such presumption. All good.

Beyond that, and getting back to your musing over ambiguity. Significant ambiguity only exists in the absence of a relevant quantum of observation. In reading your posts, you've obviously garnered the required quantum of observation, why the ambiguity ?. Are we talking about really small and nearly irrelevant things or really really big things ? Or maybe you're just "schizo" ?. If that's not a question laced with ambiguisnificationalisationing, I ain't heard one.

Kind Regards
Myselfaswell

Presumptuous? You think so? Remember, this is my mate- we talk about it, he tells me what he feels and perceives!
He says he "puts people in a box" at first glance, and then doesn't question it- he claims he has faith in his intuitive judgement- he can tell what kind of person they are right away, and what to expect as far as reactions.

I am also one of those who interacts with him and can testify that if he proposes an idea, and I speak up with an objection, he doesn't hear it. When together I have to be the voice of the negativity- "Honey, did you just hear what he said? He said he doesn't want to do that." or "Sweetie, listen, our hosts said they are tired now and would like to go to bed.... I know you are having fun but it is time to go." Because though it is an effective tactic (people end up doing things his way) it can also make them get irritable (not that that is something that bothers him, of course, he doesn't pay attention, but I get concerned about them).

But there is times this is very useful too. When he has to haggle a price or make a complaint, I will walk away chastised and having paid too much, not he!


On the ambiguity, I was more musing yesterday over fairly simple things. To be honest, the whole thing got set off by a proposal from a male friend to form a threesome- because I always joke about how I'd like two husbands. So perhaps it was a sublimation trip to move away from a slightly uncomfortable choice proposed.
It led me to consider why I make that statement so often, and why I will often get into debates in which I take the position that I do not personally hold as my own. I can put myself into either side of most issues, even if I choose one side for myself, ultimately.

originally posted by: Aphorism
a reply to: Bluesma

A good read with coffee. You might enjoy De Beauvoir's Ethics of Ambiguity. Thanks for sharing a little peak into yourself.

I haven't read that, I will look it up. I have read "The Other Sex" and thought that much of her thought was severely dated, and I would have lots to respond to if she was still alive today. But she had good insight.