Clowning Around

Wake up! Time to get your Clownie-O's before school! The sound of my mother screaming at me in that distinctly unfunny way of hers was all that I needed to hear before I woke up every morning. Here on this particularly funny morning, I ran downstairs and turned on the television. It was an interview with one particularly serious scientist.

So Dr. John, tell us again what it was like when you first found the link!
Well, you see, it was one of those mornings where I questioned the field I had entered, and when I looked at the data again I figured out why. Having a bigger shoe size caused someone to become smarter!
What about all of the previous theories, where it was supposed that outside factors caused people to become smarter and for their shoe size to increase, like age?
It was obvious, to me anyway, that the scientists who said that were wearing smaller shoes than me. I took all of my data to a couple of clowns, who at first were hesitant to look at the data of someone wearing such small shoes, but I implored them that the fate of humanity was at stake. They were receptive after the implications of the data became clear.
So what did they say? Did it make sense?
Yes! It was all immediately clear to them.

And the rest, they say, is history...