A feeling of general disconnect...a possible problem.

I'm unsure whether or not this post belongs here, but I don't really care. This is another Ukrainian based thread, but it's oddly metaphysical as well. It's such a cluster of material that I'd rather just stick it in general chit chat to avoid confusion. I'll start off simply, I just don't seem to care.

That's the problem, I find that I don't see the point in caring about the things I have seen today. Over the past few weeks I've watched the Ukrainian revolution spark and ignite within the East and looked upon it with a calm, unimpressed gaze. People are out there fighting the greatest battle of their lives, human life is being thrown away as if used toilet tissue, and liberty casually fizzles out. The world looks on in awe, excited and galvanized by its new source of entertainment; yet, here I am, watching as the situation delves into chaos with the least amount of care I've ever fostered in this chest of mine. I don't seem to care.

Maybe that's the problem. I just don't understand why this event is any more or less significant than the Arab Spring, the Occupy Wallstreet Movement, the averted Israeli unilateral strikes on Iranian Nuclear facilities, Blossom Goodchild light ships, the Syrian conflict, the Libyan conflict, 2012, Scotland's possible secession, the dips and possible Market Crash that's always just around the corner, and every other little thing that has gone on over these past few years. I wonder, maybe I don't care anymore.

Is that a problem? Is there only so much a person can take and process as a truth seeker until the truth no longer interests them? Or, maybe, it's something else. Could I be able to identify a sham event that is meant to rile my emotions and create some sort of fear/love dichotomy that perpetuates the systematic progression of this reality I'm confined to? I doubt the last one, because the answer is probably found in an explanation significantly simpler.

The problem? The problem may be the fact that we've hit a singularity of negativity and strife that my being no longer attempts to process it or react to it. It has become, maybe, the status quo. I find no more excitement in my game as I place my hand in the wolves mouth knowing that it will not bite. I've seen so many near misses that I have come to find the idea of a direct hit to be nothing more than a fable, some fairy tail conspiracy theorists tell one another to soothe the pangs of insomnia and paranoia. Is that what this has all become? Has the suffering of others become my hope for change or revolution worldwide? Maybe, maybe not. It could be that that was a truth at one point in time, but I have now stepped out of such a way of thinking to see the sinful nature of my perverse desires. Pornographic images of collapse and apocalypse are just that, self indulgent fantasies that kept me moving forward blindly from day to day.

Problems...I have problems accepting that I was hooked on the idea that chaos would bring salvation. Someone else's suffering or sacrifice would always make the world more interesting, more vivid, more worthy of my attention. That way of thinking is a problem, and I'm not so sure I've completely shed that skin. All I know now is that I don't feel anything when I watch as Russia invades Crimea. I don't feel anything as Ukrainians die left and right under a broken regime full of corrupt politicians. I don't care as Russia docks a ship off the coast of Cuba. It seems as if I'm done caring, or better yet, participating in the cycle. Some would say this is me evolving, becoming more. Others would say this is me stroking my own ego.

Problem? It could be both, or neither. I don't know. What I do know is that this feeling of abject emptiness and apathy is new. I look upon this situation and feel nothing, not even that perverse excitement that would have lit up my week not but half a year ago. What's happening to me? Am I burnt out? Am I changing? Am I growing up? Am I becoming more immature? Am I going back to sleep, or am I waking up for the first time? I wonder, is it a problem?

I know the feeling( or lack there of) that you're expressing, I remember 2-3 years ago whenever i would read things about the US finical market, or Syria, or Iran-Israel conflicts, it would cause me to have mini panic attacks. I remember once writing on the teachers whiteboard the reason why i felt WWIII was on right around the corner. And, why everyone should be just as panicked as I was. I think it was after the MIlitary Coupe of 2013 [in egypt] that I just stop caring. Ive focused my attention on other things. Ive been going to farming conventions, Gardening conventions, Started Saving rainwater( Legal in MI), and Stocking up on seeds. Ive been learning how to survive without the need of Meijer(walmart). I really liked your hand in the wolfs mouth analogy!
S & F.

reply to post by TheOneElectric


It seems that the world is being desensitized to all the strife. We watch it on TV, hear it in the news, and think 'those poor people' over and over again.

It's painfully obvious that 'the little guy' has no control over the corrupt current events - let alone can sort through all the conflicting information!

And a lot of people are thankful that it isn't happening where they are...yet. It could be coming to a town near me...soon. If we can learn anything from all the news coverage, it is this: Those in control have the power to do whatever they want, and they will 'spin' it any way they want us to see it.

Sometimes you just have to shut down emotionally and give your heart a rest.

You might care if it were happening in your own backyard, and your own life or home or family was in harm's way. You might care if you had choices to make, sides to take, games to play to stay safe/alive. You might care then.

I think some of us think we have dire problems in our own lives (I know I do feel that way at times), but really, our problems are not the same as so many others problems in the world. Think Africa, India, for example. Those problems happen to "those" people - people you don't know and who live differently, perhaps worship/believe differently, and maybe even look differently from you.

But not to say that I disagree with you. I feel the same way, in most regards. Sort of like I'm watching some sort of mind torture and hypnosis, and I see it for what it is, and I don't get attached to it, or take sides, or believe there is a right and wrong. I don't know if it means one is evolving, devolving, mentally/spiritually ill or sound, or just ready to leave the planet and its craziness behind.

When the tsunami hit, I knew it was horrible, and I knew there was intense pain, loss, grief and death. I "cared" but I didn't care, in the sense that I didn't feel it in a way that I would have in the past. Instead of aligning with sorrow and pain, I aligned with compassion in my heart, not sadness. Just compassion.

So for the current situations in the world, I hope that I don't get angry, sad, disempowered or full of hate, or hopeless. I hope that I will find the compassionate heart in me for those individuals who are facing and perhaps choosing change, conflict, fear, hatred, etc.

I feel sometimes so old and so weary, like I've lived for ten thousand years and see the same human responses over and over again, and a bit disheartened that the responses are always the same. Rinse, repeat. Here we go again. Conflict, dishonesty, cruelty, corruption. When will we ever learn.