A DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble!

This is too funny so I just had to share, no source that I could find, that's why it is in this forum...

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On
an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town . I started to explain the length of
the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with,
''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in
Massachusetts ...''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa ...''
His response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando .
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me! I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
THIN state!!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent
a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car
to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.
and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
fast, and she bought that. (Must be blonde.)

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it, (I was dying
laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT -
Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on
his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it
be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from
Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane. She said,
''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu , La. Senator, called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''

''Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."

The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you
just gotta spread it around.

reply to post by baddmove


haha, I've always wondered if it was incompetence or malevolence that causes governments to rape the world and enslave people...

score 1 for incompetence.

Baddmove: Hello?
ATS rep: We need to verify something.
Baddmove: (Oh, sheet!) OK (Starts sweating)
ATS rep: You are the one posting those jokes on our site, right?
Baddmove: Yep. Guilty as charged (said with false bravado)
ATS rep: Sir, the time to make funny is over.
Baddmove: (Says nothing, but feels something running down his leg)
ATS rep: We've had sixteen calls from politicians complaining that you recycled old jokes with their names
Baddmove: (Has strange sensations in the back of his pants too)
ATS rep: Just to clear this up, you are not an airport ticket agent are you?
Baddmove: B,,b,b,b,but it was poetic license! No harm done! ...Is there?
ATS rep: Sir, you understand that most of those people are lawyers?
Baddmove: What can I do. Is it too late? ...Cat was on keyboard. er, my mother called me upstairs to carry out...
ATS rep: (Interrupting) Sir, if you're not an airport ticket agent, I suggest that you call one immediately, be nice and Innocently get their name and employee number and call me back. Thank you for flying ATS. Our motto: The skies our limit for the kind of stuff we use these days.. Keep it up. We'll toss in some extra stars, flags and pointsl

reply to post by Sly1one


Does anyone else smell a conspiracy?

I think what's happening here is that our representatives in Washington are feigning incompetence in order to cover up malevolence!

No, but seriously, they are both stupid and malevolent.

reply to post by baddmove

I worked for an airline for years and we all have our own language. A LEO is a shortened form of law enforcement officer traveling with a firearm . When the democratic national convention was leaving town a gentleman was traveling with his wife and he slid me paperwork because he was traveling with his firearm. I ask the gentleman if he was a LEO and without missing a beat his wife looked at me and said "no he is a capricorn" Really I said and pretended to drop my pen so that she would not see me giggling.
We often have gate changes so if the tower is in the process of moving things around and not finished yet a lot of the time the boarding pass will read "gate 1" There is no gate one and the ticket counter tells everyone to check the departure boards when they get to the concourse to see what gate they are going to be using. One of our senators came up to my gate and handed me their boarding pass and ask me where gate 1 is. I explained everything to that person and looked up the flight and told them the correct gate. The person looked at me and said "well thats great but my boarding pass says gate 1" so I explained everything again and wrote the gate number on the boarding pass and handed it back to that person. That person once again looked at me and said but my boarding pass said gate 1. I reprinted the boarding pass and got another agent to walk that person to the gate.

reply to post by Aliensun


LOL..

ok, that was pretty god..

Thanks!!!

reply to post by WhiteWitch2002


LOL..not a LEO..

A Capricorn..

Too funny!!

Hawaii by train... Fantastic

pretty funny, except Janet Napolitano is a woman. lol, I can see the misunderstanding, she might sound like a man on the phone.

G,day mate. well yer really crack me up. if your fair dinkum. it would appear that your pollies are worse than the bloody galahs we have here in aussie. number 10 got me. pepsi cola. and this sheila wants your guns. would not trust her with the safe handling of a water pistol, she would prob refer to it as a naval assault weapon. anyway mate good read

would not trust her with the safe handling of a water pistol, she would prob refer to it as a naval assault weapon.

Now that is funny

To all who might think these things are too dumb to actually be government officials...

Don't forget Representative Hank Johnson, who worried that Guam might "Tip over and capsize"!

www.snopes.com...

As hilarious as this is, I don't believe it to be factual. Just satire. I cannot believe that anyone related to higher level government positions would not understand the concept of time zones. Inconceivable.

reply to post by Drezden


After working for an airline I have seen some of the smartest people...teachers...ministers....professors....who somehow manage to pack their brain in their checked luggage. Trust me the smartest people stress over flying and seem to forget the most simple things. Things like what airline they are flying.,....we used to all have flights going out at about the same time and people would show up at my gate and they were not on a boarding list, I would look at their tickets and they would be on another airline all together, they just saw that this airplane was going to their destination and thought it was their flight. Stress does strange things to people.

While this is likely satire (I hope), all you have to do is watch C-SPAN for a couple hours to realize they really are this stupid. Especially the ones who talk real slow; it's like their brains are firing on one and a half cylinders.

Hey, if I were a multinational corporation and wanted patsies, stooges and puppets in positions of 'power' I'd get these people in Congress, too.

Keep in mind not only do they make a ton of money while they're 'serving' us, but they have lifetime pensions and health insurance. Your tax dollars at work. Too bad they can't find the money to give you the same.

Oh it's probably true...

Ever listen to or read any of Ophelia Ford's ramblings? Strom Thurmond ring any bells? Dan Quayle? Al Gore? Hell, Reagan ran the last half of his second term in what could only be described as the fog of Alzheimer's. How can we forget about all the Bush-isms?

Yeah, we're only human, but damn. We can do better than this.

The ones that get the seats are just a face in front of a mic and an ass in a chair. Some of these people are really d-u-m-b. (Must be the inbreeding.)