Men: Do your gfs, fiancees, or wives almost agree with all your political views? Do they repeat what

Well before I give you my short answer I want to mention that my girlfriend went to the same college as me and is very intellectual and we do have very common belief systems; although some things may be different I can sometimes change her mind about them. I'll give you a couple examples:

As a Libertarian I've stated before that we should care about our country and our people before we go out handing billions of dollars to other countries as we should fix ourselves first. I've made it abundantly clear to her that is what I believe. Now whenever current events or news brings up topics like sending over foreign aid she says the same thing that I do and has said it multple times when we talk lol. "We should be taking care of ourselves before we take care of the rest of the world, we have enough problems".

Another great quote, except this is from the Bible, from when we've had religious discussions such as the female pastor at my church; and her stating that females shouldn't be pastors. As well as some other Bible references she has taken literally, to which I tell her the famous line, "Well the Bible says that if you stare at something dirty or erotic you have to pluck out your eyeballs". "But have you or anybody in your family plucked our your eyes? lol. Now when we have various religious discussions or debates for a few weeks that was one of her favorite lines, she repeated the "plucking out your eyeballs" quote on numerous occasions.

Back to politics. We've had many political conversations and I've shown her many different topics and stories to briden her horizon. I've explained to her that we live in a Capitolistocracy and that our representatives might as well wear Coke logos on the back of their suits because the only thing that controls our government in money. Now when we talk about politics or politicians she seems to like bringing up the fact that they're being paid off all the time like I haven't known about it!

My girlfriend is extremely smart and I'm glad that I have a girlfriend that I can talk about actual REAL current events or history about. And somebody I can debate with and talk too with substance. I'm not putting her down or anything, but I'm trying to figure out about how a females view on the world changes when they are in a relationship. Is she just adapting to my views too or something else? The only thing I haven't been able to do is change her mind about the fact that homosexuals are born that way whereas she thinks it's a choice and almost even though I have a psych minor I can't change her view on that except I think I am making some headway

Hitler and Saddam both said you should marry a stupid, simple woman because you don't have to talk about politics or the world with them because they won't understand it. However if you do, their brains should be malleable so they'll just repeat your views like a parrot. But they mostly wanted a simple woman to come home to do the typical wife stuff, i.e. make their meals, wash their clothes, take care of them (including sex, but that's debatable with Hitler) etc...

So my question to you guys are how do the women in your life discuss topics including politics, current events world history, etc... with you, if they do at all? Do they agree with everything you say? Do they put up fights and challenges to your convos and are you two polar opposites? Are they somewhere in the middle? Or do they just not care?

My gf left me after 5 years of looking over my shoulder, always wondering who i should worry about.
she was the type that would bury her head in the sand and say it dosent effect me so why do i care.
she literal only seen what she wanted too, not the cold hard truth staring her down.

reply to post by Swing80s


My wife is a teacher.

It's kind of fun discussing conspiracy theories with someone that has to teach everything "by the book", so to speak

When it comes to politics though, yes, I see her siding with my views more often than not. Kinda weird now that you bring it to light and I think about it. I even recall her making a post online about Ron Paul back during the primaries.

:shrug:

Definitely food for thought for the day.

-YALT

Warning: Woman's perspective below....


I have my own thoughts, and opinions (some would say far too many), as a consequence I form my own political/general world view.

No man is ever going to bend me to their way of thinking, unless I happen to be of that opinion, or they have brought to my attention a point which is on balance, one to consider.

Perhaps this is why I am single!

Of course this is my personal perspective, I can't speak for all of womenkind, but I would like to think they are of a similar position.

reply to post by Swing80s


Different men, like different women. So if you have noticed a pattern, perhaps it's just because you have a type.

I have dated girls who enjoyed talking politics, and some that didn't. But all-in-all I think they react just as different to my thoughts, as with anyone else. Perhaps a bit more patient, but that is all.
I think the only subject I have ever experienced an overwhelming refusal to debate, is the determinism vs. libertarianism question. I have no clue why.

I do feel that girls are usually better to reference stuff that I've said (or use it against me), than I am referencing them. But that might as well just be because I am bad at it.

reply to post by Swing80s

Originally posted by Swing80s
So my question to you guys are how do the women in your life discuss topics including politics, current events world history, etc... with you, if they do at all? Do they agree with everything you say? Do they put up fights and challenges to your convos and are you two polar opposites? Are they somewhere in the middle? Or do they just not care?

Depends, intelligent girlfriends I've had will debate with me but not for long. Occasionally they will adopt my views but thats not an instant process. It takes real discussion and explanation to get a woman who considers herself an intellectual to change her mind.

What your describing sounds more like shes hanging on your every word with puppy dog eyes, repeating what you say in an attempt to get you to find her more favorably. I've been with those kinds too, I've been fooled. The good thing is you don't have to agree about EVERYTHING to enjoy each others company. NOT agreeing can be good, it can be educational, so long as you both accept that its fine for you to have seperate opinions.

Quick personal story, about 7 years ago I started talking to this girl on a UFO forum. I was a huge Sitchin fan, anything I said pertaining to him or UFO's or religion or politics she agreed with. I thought well here we go, I've been looking for the wrong type, I don't want a 1/2 ignorant chick who just nods her head when I talk about stuff, I need a girl who thinks like I do! So I moved across the country to be with her, after about 2-3 weeks I saw what was really going on. She knew NOTHING about Sitchin, lol, just the very basics. She was obsessed with free-masons and the illuminati and even like David Icke, which she had agreed with me already online that he was full of #. So I moved across town, back to the drawing board and found a nice impressionable young hottie who in the long run.. wouldn't get a job.

Basically, imho, they'll tell you what you want to hear at first. Give it a while and see if it lasts, I doubt the agreeing with everything you say will. Good luck though, maybe she actually is very smart, your right about alot of things and she is super quick to catch on.

I am a woman, but I have to agree that I do take on some of my husband's views. He is a pastor and a HS History/Government teacher so he is quite a doozie to argue politics or religion with

I think that he takes on some of my views as well though. It is what makes us so great together. I think for the most part we hold the same views, but we constantly push each other to think outside of our own little boxes. I now hold a much more literal view of the Bible because of him, and he now takes some conspiracy theories more seriously because of me. He even allows his students to use ATS as an optional source for Friday headlines

I think it's great that you have found someone that you can hold an intelligent conversation with, who holds her own views, but is still willing to change them based on facts you present to her. Sounds like she is a keeper!

~OkieDokie

Originally posted by solargeddon
Warning: Woman's perspective below....


I have my own thoughts, and opinions (some would say far too many), as a consequence I form my own political/general world view.

No man is ever going to bend me to their way of thinking, unless I happen to be of that opinion, or they have brought to my attention a point which is on balance, one to consider.

Perhaps this is why I am single!

Of course this is my personal perspective, I can't speak for all of womenkind, but I would like to think they are of a similar position.

edit on 16-12-2012 by solargeddon because: (no reason given)

edit on 16-12-2012 by solargeddon because: typos

I don't think he's referring to forcing your partner to believe in what you believe in.
I think he means more like does it just kind of happened.


To the op... yes I do notice my girlfriend sometimes leaning towards my beliefs and not against her will of course.

Originally posted by Lichter daraus

Originally posted by solargeddon
Warning: Woman's perspective below....


I have my own thoughts, and opinions (some would say far too many), as a consequence I form my own political/general world view.

No man is ever going to bend me to their way of thinking, unless I happen to be of that opinion, or they have brought to my attention a point which is on balance, one to consider.

Perhaps this is why I am single!

Of course this is my personal perspective, I can't speak for all of womenkind, but I would like to think they are of a similar position.

edit on 16-12-2012 by solargeddon because: (no reason given)

edit on 16-12-2012 by solargeddon because: typos

I don't think he's referring to forcing your partner to believe in what you believe in.
I think he means more like does it just kind of happened.


To the op... yes I do notice my girlfriend sometimes leaning towards my beliefs and not against her will of course.

Yeah, I did get that, was just putting my point accross emphatically (perhaps too much).

That said I think there is a lot couples loose when they come together.

It's like their identities merge, but I think more often than not, the more submissive partner's identity overall can become absorbed into the more dominant partner.

Not in any sisnister fashion, it's just something which seems to happen, whether it is out of a desire not to push away, or offend the partner, who knows.

But there instances where a partner will "agree to please" as it were.

Not saying it's right, just saying it happens, and it is not gender specific either.

reply to post by solargeddon


oh yes I totally agree, and I see this happening with my girlfriend.
it kind of makes me feel bad or wrong you know, it's not like I'm forcing her though. I keep telling her to be herself and think for herself you know.
I tell her" I wanna be with you not a reflection of myself."

My girlfriend and I have discussions about politics, social issues, etc pretty frequently. As someone else mentioned above, I think it is largely a matter of one's own "type." I like to have debates, and I actually met my girlfriend in a discussion-based college class about animal consciousness. Her contributions to the discussions were a big part of what made me interested in her to begin with.

I think there is a lot of mind-changing between the two of us, but I would say that I have had most of the success with political discussions (how the government should conduct itself), whereas she has had most of the success with discussions about social issues (how individuals should conduct themselves).

Example: this election cycle she had planned to vote for Obama (to block Romney from office), and I was going to vote for either Ron Paul or Gary Johnson. Then she read about Jill Stein and liked her, and then she shared the info with me, which actually changed my mind to vote for Jill Stein. However my girlfriend still planned to vote against Romney (via Obama). It took several discussions, but I was able to persuade her that it's better to vote FOR someone rather than AGAINST someone. We both ended up voting for Jill Stein.

So to answer the OP, yes my girlfriend tends to adopt my political views, but I also tend to adopt her social views.

reply to post by Swing80s

I think that the more sheltered our life is, the more we can't tolerate different views. So how sheltered we're is proportional to our anger when exposed to a different or opposing view.

We have a tendency to stick around people we agree with and avoid those we don't. Probably because disagreeing requires more energy and our body tries to conserve its resources.

The problem is that what we think is good for the world and what we think is bad for the world directly ties to our beliefs of good and evil. If someone does bad to the world then is that not evil? If somebody does good to the world then it's the reverse. If we're passionate about good and evil, it seems we'd not tolerate differing opinions, since they would threaten our moral values deeply.

Are we to abandon the concept of good and evil or restrict it to common grounds? If we rid ourselves of it, that seems unlikely given our moral character. What about moderating it? But is that not crossing a line? It seems it's causing us to accept some evil as necessary in the world.

By this argument, I'm stating that for republicans and democrats to meet on common grounds they must be willing to accept some evil as a permanent feature of this world.

Of course, if we eliminate the concept of good and evil then to meet on common grounds only means that it forces us to accept some things in the world that make no sense to us.

This would extend to couples as well, or partners.

I like everybodies replies! My gf is got her teaching diploma but because of the economy can't do what she was trained to do and I don't know if she even likes it anymore, however she is still a teacher.

And I learn from her and she learns from me, just like somebody said, I think I can sway the political arena a littler more towards my favor but she DEFINITELY has the upper hand when it comes to social issues... at least I like to think sometimes

But this is what I like about a girl, even if she's only being open minded with me because she likes me, the fact that she feels like it's important that we talk about IMPORTANT things in the world because I feel we should bring them up makes me like her even more.

I told my gf about this post and told her not to read it I was afraid she'd get pissed so I explained the gist of it but I kinda want her to read it now so she can get more of an insight from all you.

It's a two way street, but I've also noticed a MERGING of views between my conservative grandparents that have been married since 19 and they're in their late 70's. Both, especially my gpa, are VERY politically astute but I notice my GMA ALWAYS SIDES WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT. SHE GETS PI$$ED and HEATED if you argue against their "merged" views as some of you might say. But after 50 years of marriage it makes sense that 2 people would become 1.

I look at my gf as my best friend, a best friend I can do things with I can't with my other best guy friends LOL. I think part of the merging of opinions has to do with the fact that in marriage, a proper marriage, straight or not, that after some decades the two people literally become one. I mean haven't you ever felt like you 2 are one "spiritual body" during "intimate" moments if it's with somebody you care about so much you would do anything, including open carrying on the weekends to make sure she would never get hurt and you would gladly take a bullet for her? Didn't want to bring up guns but after all these shootings I didn't want to take a chance for the most important person in my life...

Anyways this conversation turned out A LOT better than I thought it would and I would like to hear more!

Mine is a teacher and she agrees with me on most things until it comes to her job.

She feels teachers are not overpaid. A PE teacher making 85K in the midwest doesn't bother her.
Union contracts saving crappy teachers are a small price to pay for job security.

We have learned not to goad each other in those topics.

Originally posted by Swing80s
...Now whenever current events or news brings up topics like sending over foreign aid she says the same thing that I do and has said it multple times when we talk lol...

Well - aside from the remainder of the OP...I would cautiously advise that you NEVER bring this up to her...or in front of her...and if you ever see a similar situation (where another guy is saying this about his GF or spouse)...loudly offer-up that your GF has broadened your horizons considerably with matters such as foreign aid (etc...)...

On another note - when I was in school (elementary school on), girls, on the whole, were much more studious, and, in general, performed better than guys.
So - to suggest that they are less intelligent (you didn't say that, but it could be erroneously inferred) would seem to go against common sense (unless - their brains fell to their chests somewhere around puberty - ?).

Similar to some of what you've experienced, I have seen my spouse take lines of reasons I've put forth, and run with them, as if they were of her own construction... That doesn't mean - she can't think for herself - so, what does it mean? Maybe it simply means -
"It's only important enough for contribution in general chit chat...and if it goes beyond that...maybe I'll learn something - or - maybe I'll just have to give the guy I'm with, a couple more stars than I originally thought he was worth."

I don't know - of course. Could be as many reasons for this as there are instances of its occurrence. So - my answer might be right in one (maybe) case.

I like your reply. I did have my gf read it and she was cool with it tho. But it makes sense that her repeating what I say is because she's just affirming my beliefs to a greater degree. Maybe I should take pride in that.