Do you ever really fall "out" of Love?

I mean, what is love really? Is it a concept? Is it a feeling? Is it a real tangible thing?

"Love" defined:

love[luhv]1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. 3. sexual passion or desire. 4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. 5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

Contemplating during the composition of my previous thread. Do you every really, honestly truly ever stop loving someone that you have been in love with? Or what you consider to be "love"?

Do you still "love" your highschool sweetheart? If you're divorced, do you still "love" your ex? I can honestly answer yes to these questions. If my highschool girlfriend called my up today and wanted to get back together, I would do so in a heartbeat. She was the first person who gave me butterflies in my stomach, and I seem to compare all others since then to her. Most since then don't stand up, but the woman that I asked to be my wife certainly made me change my thinking a bit. I am no longer married to her, but I will always "love" her. She has become one of my best friends.

I personally have only ever fell in "love" with three women. True, honest love. These women have helped to define me and make me what I am today (in the case of the latest one a basket case cause I don't know whats going on...)

Do you every really, honestly truly ever stop loving someone that you have been in love with?

There's of course 2 distinctions.
"In love with her" and "loving her still"... not the same thing.

One can "feel" nostalgic feelings of old and trick youself into thinking you still "love her", then there's the girl you can't stop thinking about for years, the "in love with" still girl.

Both are bad news IMHO. Best to stabilize your emotions like a Vulcan.
Women are masters of manipulating men of vulnerable emotions. Get them under control or be subject to a vindictive scorned woman repeating her past patterns.

You want relief from your pain. I'm telling you that there are MANY fish in the sea that wiill make this past girl seem like practice compared to the higher connection at a more mature level you will find again.

Time does heal those wounds.

If it's true love then no, you never stop loving them. If it was never true love to begin with then yes, you can and will stop loving them...thank God! The thought of being stuck "loving" my ex for all eternity doesn't even bare thinking about But knowing that I'll love my lovely manfriend forever and ever makes me smile like a cheshire cat

I have done a bit of experiments and research on the topic of emotions and it's related functions, thou many disagree with me this is my findings in regards to the love phenomenon specifically.

In love = Fascination
To love = Safety & Fear of change

The fascination of someone brings us together and if it manages to keep on for long enough we develop a so-called bond by getting used to having them around and we become reliant on them being there. In effect keeping us together as feeling safe makes us feel good and since human kind are terrified of change we develop quite a bit of fear of loosing that safety of having a "constant" in our lives.

Often if the fascination("in love") keeps on going for to long before it ends many confuses it with love and starts considering it as "I really like him/her, but I don't love him/her" as it degenerates, leading to a lot of emotional confusion.

reply to post by edaced4

Do you ever really fall "out" of Love?

two words...

Hell Yes!

There's different types/gravities of Love. Count yourself lucky for every form you encounter, worry not about it going away, because most rarely experience it at all

reply to post by edaced4

Well one thing is for sure dude, if you fell into it. Then you wont fall out of it, you will have to climb out of it. Unless you think you can manage to fall "up" instead of down, gravity even the gravity of love does not work like that you know.

I think what happened is you probably were wondering around most likely high on something, then you must of tripped fell and hit your head so hard that you started to see things in a bunch of women that just were not there. Don't worry bro you came to the right place, people here on ATS will throw you a rope so you can climb out of that hell hole you fell into, and so deluded yourself that you think you can fall out of. You lazy bugger you, oh noz, your ass will have to climb out.

Here's some rope and my advice. There's plenty of fish in the sea, but if you don't like fish. Then there's not as much, but more then enough women on land.

reply to post by edaced4


As we get older we go through different phases of maturity, mental and physical. Love is like the motion of two celestial bodies suddenly become in phase and sychronous. Their tides attract and they are right for eachother. Some sychronicities can last a lifetime.