I Miss Believing...

I am an atheist. I don't believe in the God Jehovah, or his son Jesus Christ. I was raised by strict religious parents. I've read the whole Bible, and enjoyed a lot of it, but I don't believe it's the word of God.

And yet, despite my non-belief in God, I miss believing. The last time I believed was when I was in the Navy. After I got out, I slowly began to realize that it's all fake. But why do I miss the bliss of ignorance? It's impossible for me to go back to truly believing in God. It's like trying to go back to believing in Santa Clause. Why then do I long for that bliss? I think it's the same reason that many people continue to believe. The false hope of God offers peace and reassurance in this mad place we call Earth. In such a mad world, one can find hope among the teachings of the Bible. As much as I find overly religious people obnoxious and off-putting, I miss the fellowship with Christians. Most of them are well meaning, loving people, even among the crazy, evangelical crowd (of which I was raised).

Have any of you other "converted" atheists ever felt like you missed being a Christian, or Muslim, or whatever faith you abandoned? Please, no Christians telling me to "come back to God" or anything like that. By your own Bible, it is impossible, because I have committed the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

I was raised strict pentecostal. Look them up you will be amused.

It burned me bad on religion, I was atheist until I was 26.

No amount of any talking or debate would ever turn you none atheist, I know it wouldn't of worked on me.

I thought it was all BS even growing up in that crazy church.

The only thing that changed me was direct personal experience, and thats about all i can say about that.

reply to post by benrl


No need to look them up. That's what doctrine I was raised to believe... United Pentecostal Church to be specific.

Are you saying you are no longer an atheist?

reply to post by OrphenFire


Id rather not talk about a deep personal experience on ATS.

But yes, I am no longer an Atheist.

And like I said, no amount of talking and discussion would of changed my mind, I was Violently opposed to all religion.

I would get in hour long debates with family members, friends who "believed".

Like I said though, your right no amount of talking will change your beliefs, as they didn't mine.

reply to post by OrphenFire


I was raised as a Southern Baptist. I haven't believed in a long time but I do sometimes wonder how nice it might be if I did.

reply to post by OrphenFire


Keep in mind..

Once you're an "athiest" you're also free to explore other "religious" texts...

Take it from someone who is part of this "mad" world...( notice my sig ) i was an athiest while i was technically "christian" actually... only after abandoning the silly religious beliefs, i found God on my own.

I know nothing of this "fellowship" you speak of... perhaps you might simply join a club with people that have similar interests to find this fellowship.

i might also point out that Blasphemy isn't what you might think...

You don't need to label your beliefs to understand or believe in God my friend...

I have never believed as I was never raised to be religious and by the time I was able to make the choice on my own I couldn't bring myself to believe/have faith as none of it makes sense to me. But I am sure that believing has its benefits, after all ignorance is bliss

Interesting thread, OP. I can relate.

Although I no longer intellectually believe in a supreme being, I still find myself praying constantly, almost involuntarily. Like a reflex action rather than an intellectual process. It just doesn't feel right to me to tuck into a meal unless I've mumbled a few words of thanks, for example. This was engrained in me like a child and is a hard habit to break.

For a long time I fought it, but I eventually gave up an now I just roll with it. Even though I don't believe anyone is hearing my prayers, I think there is a value and a humility that comes with giving thanks for one's food, or for other good things in life. And prayer can really help relieve stress in desperate moments, which is also valuable.

Think about it: every known culture on earth has developed religion since ancient times. Even if it is not literally "true," its universal nature suggests it serves a valuable survival purpose. So I don't mind giving into it even though intellectually I no longer believe. To me, the religious impulse has value as a non-intellectual form of mental activity, in the same way listening to music is a beneficial mental activity although not a matter of logic. Does this make sense?

reply to post by Akragon


I read that thread when you posted and found it quite interesting.

But anyways, I think I may do some soul searching and see if I might find my "inner god". About the fellowship thing, I live very far from society, out in the country, the only fellowship I have with anyone is online. I left my family 2 states away and most of my friends that I grew up with are in an entirely different state. The only real life interaction I have is with my wife and 2 sons, and with people at work (when I actually had a job)...

reply to post by FailedProphet


Yes, that's the sort of thought pattern that I'm starting to acquire. That although it may not be true to the nature of the universe, faith is a part of the psyche for a reason... Thanks. (=

reply to post by OrphenFire


One question...

You have two children... Do you remember when they were born, the first time you looked at them?

After that moment, how can one believe God does not exist?

Are they not a blessing... if not a miracle?

Originally posted by Akragon
reply to post by OrphenFire

 

One question...

You have two children... Do you remember when they were born, the first time you looked at them?

After that moment, how can one believe God does not exist?

Are they not a blessing... if not a miracle?

I know this wasn't directed at me but nevertheless, isn't that the same as saying look at the recent shootings in aurora and saying how could you see that and think god exists? You don't/shouldn't believe or not based on if good or bad things happen, you just believe or not its not/shouldn't be circumstantial

reply to post by behindXtheXveil


You're not understanding what i mean...

There is a feeling one gets at the sight of his child... One that resonates within your whole being...

Unfortunatly i've never experienced this feeling, but i've been told by many people... staring at your new born child is like being in the presence of God... and in fact that is true, simply because a new born's spirit was recently with God.

reply to post by OrphenFire


Orphen I went ahead and sent you a U2U, feel free to ignore and disregard.

Just expounding on what i said in my first post.

I don't mean to regurgitate anything everyone else has said but I was raised in a non strict christian family. A few years back I joined a non denominational christian church that practiced like a pentecostal church and it completely burned me on christianity, I don't think I will ever go back. It took a personal experience for me to have some faith again, although I'm not sure where that faith should be. I believe in god but I don't like to define him or her with a religion. Honestly I still think a lot of religious people seem crazy, and would rather just have my faith and try to live my life right.
It's strange when you realize how you can never go back to the way it was before.

reply to post by wingdflame


Wow pentecostal, definitely a bad church...

I can remember my child hood, the hypocrisy and such really burned me.

Some of the most gossipy back biting people on the planet that I ever have met in my life came from that church...

I had one of their "Associate pastors" talk crap to me at my own mothers funeral...

basicly he complained about being there because she wasn't one of the more "active members" she had been going their the entirety of my life.

Seriously messed up my views on all organized religions.

I was not a Christan I was raised in a religious (Hindu) family, I was never religious, and will never be, I find it tedious and unnecessary.

However I do believe in God, that is not to say I believe blindly. I believe in God because I had personal experiences which provided me with evidence of a higher power whom I choose to call God.

Your reality (and everyone else's) is defined by your experience.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is if you miss believing you might want to look at God apart from religion. Or just take a good look at yourself though meditation. You could get the answers you need if you ask the right questions.

reply to post by benrl


Yea, the hypocrisy and hate is one of the things that turned me away from religions. I think it would be the same god(s) that answered everyone's prayers, so I think it's more important to try to do good in the world.

@Orphan, I wouldn't let the actions of one group keep you from believing in something. Who's to say they were right in the first place?

Originally posted by OrphenFire
I am an atheist. I don't believe in the God Jehovah, or his son Jesus Christ. I was raised by strict religious parents. I've read the whole Bible, and enjoyed a lot of it, but I don't believe it's the word of God.

And yet, despite my non-belief in God, I miss believing. The last time I believed was when I was in the Navy. After I got out, I slowly began to realize that it's all fake. But why do I miss the bliss of ignorance? It's impossible for me to go back to truly believing in God. It's like trying to go back to believing in Santa Clause. Why then do I long for that bliss? I think it's the same reason that many people continue to believe. The false hope of God offers peace and reassurance in this mad place we call Earth. In such a mad world, one can find hope among the teachings of the Bible. As much as I find overly religious people obnoxious and off-putting, I miss the fellowship with Christians. Most of them are well meaning, loving people, even among the crazy, evangelical crowd (of which I was raised).

Have any of you other "converted" atheists ever felt like you missed being a Christian, or Muslim, or whatever faith you abandoned? Please, no Christians telling me to "come back to God" or anything like that. By your own Bible, it is impossible, because I have committed the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

Lol as if you have committed the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. That is just Christian Duality views (dogma) who have no clue. The blind leading the blind.

I think you feel disconnected from everything and maybe your mind/ego say god(something more) do not exist but there is something in you that say you (your mind/ego) is wrong. Why not read many spiritual texts and see if you can figure something out by using your mind and always questioning?

Even if you are seeinging yourself as only a lump of atoms (made of energy) moving around on a bigger almost ballshape mass of atoms you are still changing the whole universe by gravitonial changes by deciding exactly the spot to be on this ball of atoms in the specific moment in time. Even if you do not feel part of the whole it does not mean you are not and affecting the whole.

And then you can always go down the rabbit hole and play around with chakras by listening to frequancy sounds and find out for yourself. What is the worst that can happen? That you waste time or that you get answers?

I still believe...



I guess I just picked the right thing to believe in.