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Politics... Cow-style!

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posted on Sep, 14 2004 @ 03:59 PM
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Basically, heres an explanation of political parties, using cows.

DEMOCRAT
-You have two cows.
-Your neighbor has none.
-You feel guilty for being successful.
-Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
-You have two cows.
-Your neighbor has none.
-So?

SOCIALIST
-You have two cows.
-The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
-You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
-You have two cows.
-The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
-You wait in line for hours to get it.
-It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
-You have two cows.
-You sell one, buy a bull, and create a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY- AMERICAN STYLE
-You have two cows.
-The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
-You have two cows.
-The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
-You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
-You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
-Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You go on strike because you want three cows.
-You go to lunch and drink wine.
-Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
-They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
-Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
-Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
-While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
-You break for lunch.
-Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You have some vodka.
-You count them and learn you have five cows.
-You have some more vodka.
-You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
-The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
-You have all the cows in Afghanistan......which are two.
-You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
-Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

IRAQI CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-They go into hiding.
-They send audio tapes of their mooing.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
-You have a black cow and a brown cow.
-Everyone votes for the best looking one.
-Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
-Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
-Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
-Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking cow.




posted on Sep, 14 2004 @ 08:57 PM
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Thats really funny, I gotta print that out and show it to some people.





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