Poor my whole life, inheriting a house. Advice Please

See, I'm almost thinking along those lines, Matrix Traveller...

I don't need a house, but my fiancee could surely use that money to pay off her debts...

reply to post by graphuto


Proverbs 22:7
The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.

Proverbs 22:3
A prudent one foresees the evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished.

Proverbs 24:3-4
Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms shall be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

Luke 14:28-30
For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he may have enough to finish it; lest perhaps, after he has laid the foundation and is not able to finish, all those seeing begin to mock him, saying, This man began to build and was not able to finish.

Proverbs 12:11
He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, but he who pursues worthless things lacks sense.

Proverbs 14:15
The naive believes everything, but the sensible man considers his steps.

Proverbs 19:2
Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who hurries his footsteps errs.

Proverbs 21:5
The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.

The house is paid off. It was my great grandmother's house. Me and my fiancee live with her sister and her husband. Our car has 166K miles on it. We're used to living hand to mouth. Being the person that I am and having led the life that I have, here was my immediate train of thought:

Sell the house immediately. Pay off ALL outstanding debt. Buy a new car.

Thoughts?

NOOOOO.........

Live in the house. Why pay rent? Make sure the house is in YOUR name, don't have your fiance' involved at ALL...

Don't buy a new car...why go into more high interest debt? Get a home equity loan (lower interest) and then go pay cash for a car about a year or two old. You can also get the loan for enough to cover other high interest debt (like credit cards), but not student loans...leave that.

HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!!!

Also, don't trade in the car if it runs. Insurance can't be much on that old of a car, and nice to have another.

Until you're married, your fiance's debt really isn't your problem. Besides, pay back the student loans when you're both doing better job-wise. Were you serious about the $150 a week? That isn't even minimum wage. ???

Yea I'm serious. I wait tables, it's hardly a minimum wage job. We make 2.13 an hour, plus whatever tips the patrons are gracious enough to leave.

Why is everyone basically telling me to tell my fiancee to get f-cked?

LoL, even here, around the supposed "enlightened" crowd, you guys are telling me the same # that "normal" people would tell me.

Thanks for the advice everyone, but I'm gonna go with what feels right in my heart.

From "The Dialogue of The Savior"

141. Matthew said,
“In what way does The Little One Cleave to The Great One?”

The Lord said, “When you leave behind you the things
that will NOT be able to follow you,
then you will put yourselves to rest.”

Mariam said, “I want to know how All things exist.”

The Lord said, “Whoever seeks LIFE knows this,
for this is their Wealth.

For the enjoyment of this world is a LIE,
and its gold and its silver is ERROR.”

His disciples said to Him,

“What shall we do in order that our work may be Perfect?”

The Lord said to them,

“Be prepared before The ALL.

142. Blessed is the man who has found The INTERPRETATION about This THOUGHT,

"THE STRUGGLE WITH THE EYES".

And....

From "The Gospel of Thomas". Part of Verse 64 Quote;

64. Businessmen and merchants
will Not enter the Places of My Father.”

Money is ERROR because we believe we can own (Foolishly) the things of this World but the reality of it all is, that a person spends many, many years slaving at work to try an Own as much as they can of this world, only to have it all taken, whether it is left to others or not, in less than ONE SECOND...

When will we Learn... we can't Own anything in this world, and our Labour for $$$$'s is all in VAIN ???

It is More profitable to FIND LIFE....

From "The Gospel of Thomas" verse 56 Quote;

56. Jesus said,

“Whoever has come to understand the World

has found only a corpse,

and whoever has found a corpse

is superior to the World.”

and in verse 58 Quote;

58. Jesus said, “Blessed is the man who has suffered and found Life.”

What is more important?
Your Soul or $$$$$$'s ?

When you die, what will you have left, when all the $$$$$'s have been taken from you, and everything else, including your own flesh, and All those around you, have been taken from you?

The more $$$$$$$$$$$'s and Assets you think you have Owned the Greater the Pain is, felt in you, while Dying, due to all your life’s efforts, being taken from you, in less than ONE SECOND....

Are All our Struggles over many years, trying to collect $$$$$$$'s and "Assets", worth only ONE SECOND ????

This is just one of the lessons we learn on dying.... We can't Own anything as it is NOT ours to Own..... ALL belongs to LIFE.

So it is so much easier to learn this Lesson NOW rather than when Dying.... (as the "Speciies" refers to it)

If we try to Own anything. it is the same as trying to Steal from LIFE.

If you do NOT know your Real Self then You are Poor, Retched, and Empty...

From "The Gospel of Thomas" verse 3 Quote;

3. Jesus said,

“If those who lead you say to you, See, The Kingdom is in the sky,
then the birds will precede you.

If they say to you, It is in the sea, then the fish will precede you.

Rather, The Kingdom is inside you, and it is outside.

When you Come to know yourselves, then you will become known,
and you will realise that it is you who are the sons of The Living Father.

If you will not know yourselves,
you dwell in poverty
and it is you who are that poverty.”

So If your Flesh is already Dead, being of the Earth (see written above... found in “The Gospel of Thomas” verse 56) then who are the Sons of The Living One???

Answer "The True Mind" which Dwells within The Soul.

So clear All your Debts and never be in Debt again and Then discover your LIFE.

Without LIFE you can do Nothing at All.

Originally posted by graphuto
See, I'm almost thinking along those lines, Matrix Traveller...

I don't need a house, but my fiancee could surely use that money to pay off her debts...

If you pay someone's debts you may end up regretting it.

Times are much different, people are much different.

In your "heart" you think it would make her so happy
but in the back of your mind you think it will tie her to
you more firmly.

Make sure you understand that you cannot buy her
so if she decides you are not good enough one day
and says goodbye then it will be your tough luck if
you gave her money.

The bottom line is that you need to be mature enough
to be able to live with whatever decision you make and
you'd better sit down and think long and hard because
"god" isn't going to help you and if you make a bad
choice "god" isn't going to fix it.

Originally posted by graphuto
Yea I'm serious. I wait tables, it's hardly a minimum wage job. We make 2.13 an hour, plus whatever tips the patrons are gracious enough to leave.

She's in college and you are waiting tables ?

Oh yeah, she's gonna stick with you for sure, happens all the time...

Good luck.

reply to post by Version100


What you say is 100% correct.... But I was Not suggesting He pay her debts, but instead his own...

If he pays her Debts.... He is creating his own Debt... Not wise...

Originally posted by graphuto
Yea I'm serious. I wait tables, it's hardly a minimum wage job. We make 2.13 an hour, plus whatever tips the patrons are gracious enough to leave.

Why is everyone basically telling me to tell my fiancee to get f-cked?

LoL, even here, around the supposed "enlightened" crowd, you guys are telling me the same # that "normal" people would tell me.

Thanks for the advice everyone, but I'm gonna go with what feels right in my heart.

The mortgage on a $60K house will run you about $650 -$700 a month after escrow, and interest etc.... So simply having the house mortgage free doubles your income essentially because you could be living in a house payment free that would consume your entire income. THINK MAN THINK!!!!

We are not telling your fiancee to get F'd. Quite the contrary we are telling her man to man up, and be smart. Would she not benefit from your financial stability? You said earlier that there is "nothing for you" in the town the house is in. DUDE! You make $2.13 where you are. You have nothing where you are at. $2.13 an hour in today's economy doesn't even justify the gas an effort to show up for that job.

We are telling you the same # because we are "enlightened", and the "normal" people you are reffering to are telling you the truth. The truth is the truth even when it hurts. Real friends will tell you the truth when it hurts. We are being so passionate because we see your line of thinking leading you to a HUGE mistake, that you WILL regret forever, and ever, and ever, and.... It's just a little tough love man. No one here is calling you names, or attacking you which is rare now days on ATS. You have gotten a lot of stellar advice. LISTEN TO IT. New car = BAD IDEA. Paying off fiancee's $27K in debt = BAD IDEA. Using the equity in the home to help your girl through her eductaion = Mixed bag/possible gamble. Using equity to buy a new car = not so great idea. Using equity for a 2 or 3 year old car at a better value = decent idea. Using equity to get yourself an education = GREAT IDEA!!! Renting home = good idea. Selling home to buy a new car, and pay $27K of debt that isn't yours = STUPIDEST IDEA EVER CONCIEVED BY A MAN!!!!!!!! You are literally throwing your future away for nothing, and if you cannot, or simply will not see it now you will see it later guaranteed, and it will be a grieving point for you. Listen to the wisdom of others, and use your head this time. In this instance your heart is WRONG. IF we didn't care we wouldn't be pushing the issue. You are about to make a "make it, or break it" decision. We see you leaning towards "break it", and we a yelling "NO!" because some of us were stupid enough to make a similar mistake in the past. I was in your shoes once, please, please, please, be smarter than I was in the past. I am literally begging you because I care, and want to see you succeed. Just trust us on this one. PLEASE?

Originally posted by graphuto
See, I'm almost thinking along those lines, Matrix Traveller...

I don't need a house, but my fiancee could surely use that money to pay off her debts...

YOU NEED A HOUSE!!!!! Whether you realise it or NOT! A free house is JUST LIKE winning the lottery. You just don't realise what you have been given. Your fiancee is on the way to acquiring better gainful employment from which she shall be 1000 x better suited to pay her debt off than you. That is the idea behind educational loans. At $2.13 an hour you can't even afford to live. Giving half of your, 1 time windfall in this life to pay a debt that she will be exceedingly more able to pay later is INSANITY!!! IF she leaves you, which is a possibility no matter how well you get along now. You are screwed so hard you will never see the light of day again. Out of simple self preservation, basic survival instinct. Don't do it.

I married my high school sweet heart. We knew each other since we were literally in pre-school. Friends in elementary school. Friends in middle school. Friends in High school. Went through college together. We were best friends for 25 YEARS!!!! I married her, and had 4 children with her. I thought everything was going great, and she just walked in one day, and dropped an A-bomb. IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. Not saying it will, but it is always a possibilty. To rule out that possibilty is insane. Follow your head with money, don't love it above all else that is folly, but use your head, not your heart with money. In everything else, yes follow your heart.

Why is everyone basically telling me to tell my fiancee to get f-cked?

LoL, even here, around the supposed "enlightened" crowd, you guys are telling me the same # that "normal" people would tell me.

Thanks for the advice everyone, but I'm gonna go with what feels right in my heart.

Fair enough, but in a few years, you'll be looking back on it as the biggest mistake in your life....when she gets her degree, a decent job, and then decides she wants someone else (but oh, thanks for paying for her college! Such a sweetie!)

Here's the thing though, you can keep the house and STILL help her, if that's really your aim. Like mentioned above, you can get a home equity loan to PAY DOWN (not OFF) the loan. Major help, but she is the sole beneficiary of this degree, so she should also be paying towards it as well, even if you want to help.

As others have said, getting an education is important. That said, I know some waiters who make damn good money, but they are REALLY good at their job, and work in very expensive restaurants. Unless that is your goal (and calling) though, the education is a much better bet, and will allow a broad range of opportunities. I have to tell you, the last 2 jobs I got, wouldn't have even read my application without a 4 yr degree or more.

I'm not rich by any means, but like to think I'm doing ok. My wife and I both drive older cars, but they are paid off. We live month to month, with little savings, but we can usually swing two decent vacations a year, and occasional trips to nearby theme parks. This house is your ticket to a much better life. If you don't use it as such, you'll regret it later. None of us want to be the ones to say "I told you so".

EDIT to add: You should really look for other employment. A job paying minimum wage at 40 hrs a week, is $290 before taxes per week. I finished my degree going one day a week for 4 hours, and doing a ton of papers, etc., but I did it while working 40 hrs a week, and I bet you can too. (Also did it with student loans). Wasn't online either. I had a federal judge teach me Employment Law, a CFO of a small company teach me Economics, etc....

Hi Graphuto....no one is telling you to screw over the fiancee'....what we are saying is until you do the "I DO"...it ain't legal and she has no right to your property...at leasy not for 7 years, then you become common law husband and wife.

Anyway, I have been married three times to the "loves of my life"... at this point, look out for you and your future. The best thing you could do for her is to secure your future so that you might provide a good and stable home for her, if and when you get married.

Live in the house, it is yours and free. Move to where the house is...at $150.00 a week, you really haven't anything to lose. In fact, better opportunities may lie there where the house is located. Further, with the housing market the way it is now, sit on the property, improve it as you can, and waite for the market to turn around. Further, after living in the house for 5 years, you pay no capital gains tax when you do sell.

Find a job, save your money...invest at some point down the road in another house to live in and rent out the other...kind of like real life Monopoly...that's what i did.

Never, never, ever take the property that is paid for and use it for a mortage or laon...that house will be your base for all other growth and investment...you could win and lose all...but you will always have the house.