SocietySays Your Child Isn't A Loser Even Though...

All children are losers (by the very definition) at one thing or another.

Society is pushing the falsehood that children are harmed in some way by losing. Everyone makes the team. You cannot fail.

For God's sake don't win by more than a few points... rightwingnews.com... the child may suffer irrevecoble harm. Seriously?

fredericksburg.com... Obviousl y this is becoming wide spread. I started researching this when my daughter brought home a participation bracelet after field day instead of the blue, red, white, and green they used to give.

IMHO this is far more harmful than it is helpful. What happens when theyare adults and they fail? Do they go postal? Do they take the time to get angry that they have been lied to for years. They go into adulthood unprepared to handle certain things because they have been conditioned that they will always get what they want.

Is the government behind this movement? After all, WE are the one's who will have to teach our children that they are sometimes losers and they suck at one thing or another. While BB gets to play good cop and whisper nothing but love into the child's other ear.

I have told my daughter to stick to her drawing because she would never make American Idol. Mean? Maybe to some, but atleast she won't be one of the one's everyone is laughing at during the auditions.

What reason would anyone have to teach these kids that there are no losers?

Originally posted by Kangaruex4Ewe
All children are losers (by the very definition) at one thing or another.

the word loser has stigma - its the stigma that causes pain - you can define the same outcome a different way & should do so.

Society is pushing the falsehood that children are harmed in some way by losing. Everyone makes the team. You cannot fail.

failure is a state of mind. No failure is a failure if you learn something from it that makes you improve the next time you try. Which brings me to my perception that you are not a 'try and try again' kind of person. You are a quitter.

For God's sake don't win by more than a few points... rightwingnews.com... the child may suffer irrevecoble harm. Seriously?

rightwingnews.com... Obvioudly this is becoming wide spread. I started researching this when my daughter brought home a participation bracelet after field day instead of the blue, red, white, and green they used to give.

I agree that these 2 examples you have pointed out are taking things to far - things were fine how they were.

IMHO this is far more harmful than it is helpful. What happens when theyare adults and they fail? Do they go postal? Do they take the time to get angry that they have been lied to for years. They go into adulthood unprepared to handle certain things because they have been conditioned that they will always get what they want.

All those conclusions you have drawn seem completely far fetched to me. I think your views & those that you argue against are both wrong. Its about perspective - not a tally of wins & loss.

Is the government behind this movement? After all, WE are the one's who will have to teach our children that they are sometimes losers and they suck at one thing or another.

Thats moronic. If they suck at something the world will hate on them for it and have no compassion, you on the other hand, as the parent SHOULD feel compassion to see your kid upset or in pain - so if you AREN'T compassionate, but instead leading the charge of haters from the frontlines, who do you think will support that kid and show a little compassion? no one. Thats what a good parent does - support their kid when no one else will. And the government? maybe the CIA, they'd be the only ones loopy enough to care.

While BB gets to play good cop and whisper nothing but love into the child's other ear.

'big brother' isn't an actually person who benefits from anything because you decide to do mean & awful things. Its a phrase used to describe an invasive & controlling authorative media. What you are suggesting is madness.

I have told my daughter to stick to her drawing because she would never make American Idol. Mean? Maybe to some, but atleast she won't be one of the one's everyone is laughing at during the auditions.
What reason would anyone have to teach these kids that there are no losers?

so as not to break their hearts or crush newly forming talents before they have a chance to develop. You cannot speak for the masses and know what people will and will not like, if you don't like the singing your daughter does that does not mean that by telling her she's crap you are protecting her from public ridicule or failure you are just being abusive. People can have no talent and go on to be very successful & happy, and I would suggest that the success and happiness of your children is what you should want most for them and telling them they suck at things isn't going to provide them either success or happiness..

-B.M

reply to post by B.Morrison


Thanks for your reply and apologies for making you ill. I am actually pretty sure most people do not literally call their children loser when they lose. And teaching them that people do lose is preparing them for real life.

Why teaching about things that will further them in life (kind of like you have to try to win, it isn't handed to you) makes you ill I don't understand.

I suppose I should have put (PLEASE DON'T RUSH HOME AND CALL YOUR CHILD A LOSER.) in 42 pt. font. I can't help the stigma. But I do know that in sports, jobs, lottery, etc. people do actually lose. What should we call it instead of losing? Almost won it?

Again I apologize for making you sick. I would hate for this to cause you to lose your dinner.

Society is also bringing up narcissistic people who have no ambition, willpower or goals--whose sole purpose if to make lots of money and live the high life.

reply to post by 547000



I agree with that assessment and think this ties into it. Why have ambitions, dreams, and goals if everthing is handed to you? You wind up with adults who feel entitled.

Explanation:



Some lyrics from the song...Beck - Loser (I'm a loser baby]

You can't write if your can't relate
trade the ca$h for the beef and the body for the hate

(I'm a driver, I'm a winner: things are going to change, I can feel it.)

Personal Disclosure: Nobody should EVER discount giving something a go for the sake of experience. But OL does not recommend death or death defying experiences without consulting experts 1st.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


I'm glad you don't abuse your kids and I'm glad you understood some of the points I made but you must have replied while I was still editing because I decided that the 'sick' comment didn't help any - sorry to have offended.

-B.M

I don't think it's healthy for kids to grow up not knowing what it is to lose. That is, as long as they win sometimes. Kids are a lot like dogs. If you set them up to win, you set them up for praise and the approval feedback they need to be motivated to try again next time. If a kid (or dog) loses every time, they're going to stop trying to win.

As with everything, a balance is required. I guess most schools these days feel that kids lose enough when they're outside school - during other games with their friends and families. But I don't like the idea of everyone winning. Life isn't like that.

And it's a rip off for the winner, too. The winner doesn't get to win and the loser doesn't get the experience and practice to deal with life.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


Well I dislike rightwingnews. IS the article based on Fact or is it just a convenient excuse to rail against the woefully misundersttod concept of "Being PC"?

Anyway assuming the article is true. There will always be winners and loosers in any competitiion. What happens when these coddled kids go out into the real world?? Will they have a harsh lesson or just collapse mentally?

reply to post by B.Morrison


No offense taken. I didn't feel the need to argue that I wasn't cruel to my children. I was taken aback that it was automatically assumed that I did. I, along with many parents think my child is just awesome even if she isn't a star athlete or singer. Her drawings and writings still blow my mind. She is a wonderful person to boot.

I also apologize as well for not being clearer and assuming people would know what I meant. Sometimes I forget not everyone knows me and I don't know everyone else.

reply to post by OmegaLogos


It's been an awfully long time since I have heard that song...

Got a couple of couches asleep on the loveseat. Good times.

Originally posted by tiger5
reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe

 

Well I dislike rightwingnews. IS the article based on Fact or is it just a convenient excuse to rail against the woefully misundersttod concept of "Being PC"?

Anyway assuming the article is true. There will always be winners and loosers in any competitiion. What happens when these coddled kids go out into the real world?? Will they have a harsh lesson or just collapse mentally?

I knew the rightwingnews would get a comment. lol I dug this one up just in case... www.torontosun.com...

It seems this fad is occuring all over the place. And your comment about collapsing mentally is dead on I think. It will be harder to teach an adult sportmanship and if you fail it's ok try again. Kids can handle losing. I think sometimes we underestimate how brilliant they are.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


I agree with your entire post 100%. The last part admittedly had not occured to me yet. And since you mention it, you have a very valid point. Thanks for making it.

PS. Beautiful dog in your avatar.