the recurring dream that isn't even mine

i hope this is the right place for this...
i had a recurring dream for many years growing up. maybe nightmare is the better term. it always started with falling asleep, and waking up, in my dream, in a field. it is dark and very cool, there is a heavy mist laid across. it is always the same. the field is massive, the mist is indiscernible, but i know somewhere there is a gate that will allow me to leave the field. and there are holes strewn everywhere. the holes being maybe as big around as a dinner plate, and when looking down at them there seems to be no bottom. and there is a man. this man seems to be maybe 10 feet tall, and wearing a cloak. he always begins floating through the mist in my direction. there is a strong fear that rushes over me to escape this man. i cannot run because there are so many holes, so i must slowly make my way across the field, always within reach of the man in the cloak.
in these dreams, i most often get close enough to the gate to feel that i can escape. in most though, i slip and fall into one of the holes and everything goes black, and then i wake. in many others, as i near the gate, the man in the cloak reaches out and his cold grip reaches my shoulder, and then i wake. i have never successfully made it through the gate and to my escape.
now, the interesting part, if i've been able to hold you through to here... when i was maybe 15 and the dreams stopped happening as often, i spoke to my mother about this, and to my surprise, she had the same dream as a child, absolutely every detail being the same. it kind of freaked me out to know me and my mother shared this dream. a few years later i started writing a lot, mostly dark poetry, but i have written a few shorts, and i have been published a few times for each.
i decided to share some of these with my family, since i had already shared some with the world. if you have ever written anything, then you will know the fear of letting people close view your writings, because they often either say nothing, or they are the most critical. so i spoke with my grandmother on my mothers side about this particular recurring dream and the fictional/nonfictional tale i had written in regards. her face went pale, as if she had seen a ghost. which apparently she had, she shared this dream as well as a child!
so i pose a question, which is surely obvious at this point.. how is it that, being that i never spoke to my family about these dreams until they started becoming fewer and farther between, how is it that i share this same dream with my mother and grandmother? i should mention, my father died when i was very young, and my grandfather on my mothers side watched his father shot down in front of their church, so obviously i could never talk to my father about this, and my grandfather became very shut off after what he witnessed.
no one i have ever spoken with about this has been able to offer any ideas or insight, and i figure this is the best place to look for answers.

Interesting. Sounds like some sort of haunting to me. Some sort of angry ghost perhaps... With the power to get inside your mind. This ghost seems to have taken a liking to your family, perhaps it is someone from your bloodline? Maybe it is someone who was married to a person in your bloodline, and was cheated on, and committed suicide... If not cheated, then maybe worse. Which leads to me to the purpose...

The dream's purpose if there is any, seems to be centered around creating terror in the victim. I see no symbolic warning that would relate to your family, then again I know nothing about your family. Also the dream seems too evil, for lack of a better word, to be the product of anything good hearted.

reply to post by sliceNodice


thank you and my thoughts exactly. my family originated from ireland, where they have their own county. they moved here in the early 1900's and they seem to keep very quiet as to the reason in which they left their home country. i will have to try again to dig into the past, which they are so reluctant to speak about. so i would say that i appreciate your input, and it brings a brighter light towards the subject i cannot get from my family. i have always thought that maybe they were running from a land owner who may have displayed some sort of violence towards them.. or maybe they ran because they are the ones who displayed the violence. thanks for your thoughts

The dream state is in the spirit world. I've read dreams on here that I swear I have dreamed myself. Now if I can dream the same dream as a total stranger on ats, how much more so that you would be able to dream the same dream as blood members of your family. Anxieties, fears, thoughts are passed down the family tree, these all show up in dreams. It's good that you guys can open up to each other.

Fascinating. In 1975 or thereabouts I saw Mr. & Mrs. Warren give a talk on various supernatural topics (he was a ghost hunter she was a medium). One of the more bizarre toopics was the one they described about a sea captain back in the early 1900’s who would take his four young daughters to their basement and he would “sell them” to the Devil such that the girls were cursed right on down the line.

The daughters were now grown with families of their own. The Warrens had a side-by-side photo of two of the captain’s granddaughters as well as a portrait of the captain himself. The Warrens then demonstrated how the photo of the oldest daughter was starting to take on the appearance of the captain – you could ‘see’ the outline of the captain’s face in the shadows of the girl’s hair and face (you couldn’t see it until it was pointed out to you).

Now the interesting thing that the Warren’s said was that about 6 months prior someone came up to them and showed them that the same phenomenon was starting to occur to the youngest daughter’s photo – once again, the audience really could make that determination until it was pointed out – then it was obvious.

Your dream reminded me of the story. If I were you, I’d try to break the dream – you have to get beyond the gate. You have to mentally prepare yourself for the challenge by consciously thinking that the next time you have the dream, you’re going to know exactly where the gate is and you’re going to fly right to it – you won’t need to step on the ground – because you can point your head in that direction and fly (just like Superman).

If you were my brother/sister – that’s what I’d tell you….get to the gate and get through the gate to the light on the other side – and you will never have the dream again.

Good luck to you.

I don't know if you are looking for a naturalistc discussion or not.

It is not unusual for people who are similarly situated to experience similar deams. While three generations is a long run, it is a long run inside a family, among people who might easily share waking experiences and ways of expressing ideas. Dreams are thoughts, that is, ways of expressing ideas.

The dream itself is very probably a "meet the Shadow" dream. It has the simple plot, emotional affect, and the prominent archetypal dream character that characterizes that kind of dream. Searching shadow jung and "big dream" jung will turn up additional information.

People in contact plus a common dream motif combine to make this an excellent candidate for being a shared dream.

The dream is also recurrent for you, and is clearly of the "unfinished business" type of recurrent dream. That is, you never do reach the gate.

In case you have the dream again, or find yourself advising another family member about this dream, it is very likely that what you should do is to accept the invitation that the "bogeyman" is trying to extend to you. Shadow instances are interesting in that the only reason they are "negative" is that you dislike them, because you dislike what they stand for. They want to work with you, not against you. The problem is that you shy away from working with them.

So, when the bogeyman shows up, you simply tell him "I would like to reach the gate. I need your help to do so. In the past, you and I haven't been able to touch. But we can walk together, and you can show me where the holes are. What do you know about the holes?"

That should do it. Don't worry too much about how you will remember to say that. The resolution to say it may be enough to end the dreams. Or, if you have the dream and don't say just that, you'll indicate cooperation some other way. It doesn't matter how. What matters is that you accept the help of the bogeyman rather than run away, which as the dream somewhat artlessly points out, you can't do anyway.

Three generations of failing to reach the gate should tell you that. The "hidden" part is that you really don't want to run away, you just think you do. Appearances have deceived you. Use it.

Despite the negative emotional reaction, it is actually a very positive and life-affirming dream. You may be especially pleased at the bogeyman's reaction, but you'll just have to wait and see about that. He won't hurt you, though, because he is you.

Well dreamt, and good luck with it.

thank you for your insight, these are definitely ideas that i have not thought of before. i did mean to mention that these we recurring to my mother and grandmother as well, although that doesn't change anything, just wanted to mention it since i don't believe i did before, but you all probably came to that conclusion after reading the OP. i never thought about approaching the 'shadow man', it just seemed natural to run, maybe because of the geography of the dream, a dark field where i've never been and bottomless holes. but it makes sense to ask for his help, since he always seems to be floating anyways, and thinking of it being my shadow self, that also brings new light to the idea. thank you very much for your input. i will try to act on them should i have this dream again, i have not had it in many years.
i should also mention that i had problems with sleep paralysis when i was a child, also accompanied by obe, which were both always accompanied by the feeling of asphyxiation because of a tremendous feeling of pressure on my chest.. needless to say, although very powerful, i did not welcome these 'dreams' or occasions... but we can discuss those instances later. again, thank you all for your accepted different points of view