War Veterans on ATS Sharing Funny War Stories.

Disclaimer:
This thread is dedicated to ATS members who are veterans and their friends and family. This thread's OP author's intent is to provide ATSers who are veterans of war a medium to share funny experiences they had in war, funny enough to make them laugh out loud in such an environment.

this thread is not intended for exchanging political views/rhetoric and attacking fellow ATSers who share their personal stories. period.

If it starts, i will release my Magniloquences upon you, once, and then press on.
files.abovetopsecret.com...
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I know war is a subject that is seldom funny. But, there are moments when those who serve in warzones must laugh at the situation, simply because the situation is funny.

I am certain, and I know, that there are veterans of war that frequent the ATS forums and threads. It can be an effective way to share thoughts in their heads.

So, in an effort to promote communication, and deny ignorance and lighten the mood a little here on ATS, I am more than willing to share some funny circumstances and situations I personally witnessed, heard about from others whom i trust, or participated in overseas in warzones.

I hope other ATSers who are war veterans will also share their experiences that brought them to laugh in an environment where you think no laughter or humor can endure. But when you are in such an environment for months at a time, emotions can exist.

This thread is not focusing on war itself, but rather the intent is to provide a medium for communicating humorous situations that your fellow ATSers who are veterans (or friends or family of veterans) may have had, and wish to share.

“all things are fair in love, and war” – humor included.

me? I have more than 3 years experience in warzones. From 1998-2009 I was a firefighter, a firefighter in the United States Air Force, that is. I have been diagnosed with “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder associated with Traumatic Brain Injury”, for whatever one may interpret from such inept labels.

Here is one of the experiences I had overseas, of which I have plenty and will share from time to time in this thread:

We were stationed at a base in one of those counties above Afghanistan that also is ends in "stan". a fellow firefighter and friend of mine.

He really wanted some KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken), something we hadn't tasted in over 4 months, and he loved his Kentucky Fried Chicken.

We were not permitted to leave base, as our firefighting duties & protocols did not permit us to leave the base. We worked and were on duty 24/7.

So, he paid a TCN (third country national) $40 to get him some chicken. (*which was more than the TCN made in a month). the TCNs could leave base and come back, and lived in a nearby village/town.

the next day we were out drilling in an exercise, and when we returned to the fire station the TCN was there to greet us. He took us into our bunk rooms (where our cots were) ....

And there, tied to his cot that was being dragged around, where 3 scrawny live chickens.

The look on my friends face was of utter befuddlement. I think his request may have been lost in translation.

My friend explained to him that he wanted something like Kentucky Fried Chicken.
The TCN looked at him like he was stupid, said some cuss words in his native tongue and then..
the TCN replied:
" Forty Dollars isn't enough to get me to Kentucky and back."

true story.
ET

A friend of mine's uncle was in Vietnam and apparently they had trouble getting cigarettes where they were for some reason. He wrote a letter to Phillip Morris and wrote a check for whatever the cost of a carton of cigarettes were. Didn't hear anything back from them for a long time then one day the quarter master called the guy in and there was a couple pallets of cartons of Marlboros there waiting on him along with his original check, uncashed. Always thought that was a really cool story.

Seargent Esoteric Teacher: “no, I will not do it.”

Colonel: “Seargent, you know rolls down hill, yes you will.”

Seargent Esoteric Teacher: “You are correct, does roll down hill sir, but gravity being what gravity is, we can assume it didn’t start down here.”