Insomnia and other foibals

Ever since my sciezure related stroke in 2006, I have never been able to sleep threw the night. Oh I've tried. Even taking strong sleeping pills for me they do nothing. So I did what the Borg in Star Trek do, I adapted. I would wake up early in the morning (about 02:30hrs), and try as I might not be able to get back to sleep. I could stare at the roof in my bedroom for several very boring hours, or just get up and make the most out of it. Moments like that I actually hoped I would be abducted by aliens. It would kill the boardom. And who knows, mabey I could have brought back the secret to warp drive, or an alien "bic pen" I wold have settled for a few pictures, though no one would believe simple pictures.

So I constructed for my computers at home that would work under the auspicus programs I programed into them. They scan about 12,000 news sites a night and just like old NSA programs, look for specific events, important names and dates. The internet is so perfectly designed to operate like this, I have to wonder how many people are taking as full advantage what the internet has to offer.I suppose when I asked my doctor about this problem, and he also happens to be a long time friend, he said. "Don't worry, you will get all the sleep you need when you die, and in the meantime? Just try to deal with it, because the above may be sooner then you think."

This guy woefully lacked in even the basic social graces. He was ruthless in his medical assesments. He gave me the data unfiltered, and not sugar coated. After that I had to make my own way in the desert. No friends, no Gods, nothing but the echo of my voice in a very lonely place. No one was there for me. But the pronouncements of a long dead prophet. *I had to decide if it made any sense to go on. In the end? I really want to stick around to at least 12/21/2012 I'm just to curious not to want to know.

What did you find in your web search's?? Sounds alot like the webbot program.

Originally posted by Trolloks
What did you find in your web search's?? Sounds alot like the webbot program.

The protocol I used was not a web based bot, as you describe. It was what we call an enhanced localized protocol. I used technology that would today be called using a nero-net. The best way to set this up for your self is to design a simple command case protocol. Introduce certain names, events, to a program thats off the net. (assume any thing you post on the net IS COMPRAMISED). As to what I found, I would often get wind of events because certain members of a government would do what they could to cover their butts. Fear, and how one reacts to it is often very revealing. I will give you more later.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been unable to sleep. I've suffered with insomnia for so long I can hardly remember when it wasn't a problem.

There are some things that can help, like being warm and comfortable enough but I think I've recently found out what's at the root of the trouble, for me. I hope I can offer some insight that will help you.

I know that having problems can keep a person awake at night - it's common knowledge. But I always thought of it as a particular, identifiable problem that would be the culprit.

What I didn't realise was that you can have a problem that is so much a part of your way of life that you, in your everyday waking state, no longer identify it as a problem. It's just there - part of the landscape of your life all the time. You have vague notions about improving things but because you're learning to live with a huge problem you somehow fail to see it as a problem in the way you would if something important broke down or you missed an appointment, for instance.

Recently, I resolved something that had been an issue for the last couple of years and I noticed that I was sleeping better. It took me a week or two to realise it because I just 'fell into' a better sleeping pattern. When I finally put two and two together it was like an enormous revelation.

So I'm suggesting that all the time I've been suffering from insomnia there would have been a set of circumstances in my life that were making me unhappy but I was incapable of realising it or I had just decided to get on with things and not make a fuss. Obviously, there was a part of me rebelling against 'making do' and it would stop me sleeping by way of a protest.

Your illness and the lack of support from a doctor who you regarded as a friend could well be at the root of your problem in getting off to sleep. Are you able to get a second opinion? I feel that if you were more confident in the care you were getting you might sleep a little more easily.

Also, have you made provision for your family in the event of your not being here for them in the future? I wonder if knowing that your 'house was in order' would help you to sleep better.

We all may have plenty of time to sleep in the end, but it doesn't mean it isn't beneficial to us in the here and now.

I don't know if this is the sort of response you were expecting to your post. Some people might think that I have just stated the obvious but, occasionally, the obvious isn't as obvious as it needs to be.

Another thing you could investigate is breathing exercises - they really can help. If I remember: breathe in, hold for the count of four, breathe out, hold for the count of four, carrying on like that until you sleep. (It might be best to double check this).

I do wish you well and hope I've been helpful.

[edit on 1-3-2010 by berenike]

Originally posted by berenike
I'm sorry to hear that you've been unable to sleep. I've suffered with insomnia for so long I can hardly remember when it wasn't a problem.

There are some things that can help, like being warm and comfortable enough but I think I've recently found out what's at the root of the trouble, for me. I hope I can offer some insight that will help you.

I know that having problems can keep a person awake at night - it's common knowledge. But I always thought of it as a particular, identifiable problem that would be the culprit.

What I didn't realise was that you can have a problem that is so much a part of your way of life that you, in your everyday waking state, no longer identify it as a problem. It's just there - part of the landscape of your life all the time. You have vague notions about improving things but because you're learning to live with a huge problem you somehow fail to see it as a problem in the way you would if something important broke down or you missed an appointment, for instance.

Recently, I resolved something that had been an issue for the last couple of years and I noticed that I was sleeping better. It took me a week or two to realise it because I just 'fell into' a better sleeping pattern. When I finally put two and two together it was like an enormous revelation.

So I'm suggesting that all the time I've been suffering from insomnia there would have been a set of circumstances in my life that were making me unhappy but I was incapable of realising it or I had just decided to get on with things and not make a fuss. Obviously, there was a part of me rebelling against 'making do' and it would stop me sleeping by way of a protest.

Your illness and the lack of support from a doctor who you regarded as a friend could well be at the root of your problem in getting off to sleep. Are you able to get a second opinion? I feel that if you were more confident in the care you were getting you might sleep a little more easily.

Also, have you made provision for your family in the event of your not being here for them in the future? I wonder if knowing that your 'house was in order' would help you to sleep better.

We all may have plenty of time to sleep in the end, but it doesn't mean it isn't beneficial to us in the here and now.

I don't know if this is the sort of response you were expecting to your post. Some people might think that I have just stated the obvious but, occasionally, the obvious isn't as obvious as it needs to be.

Another thing you could investigate is breathing exercises - they really can help. If I remember: breathe in, hold for the count of four, breathe out, hold for the count of four, carrying on like that until you sleep. (It might be best to double check this).

I do wish you well and hope I've been helpful.

[edit on 1-3-2010 by berenike]

I'l try to address several comments you made. I don't have a spouse or kids (thank God), but my Mom is still alive. She was the victum of a nasty divorce in 1985. At the moment, I have since 1985 paid all my Moms expenses. My Dad dumping my Mom put me in a rage. I have made a large sum of money and my Mom would be able to live in her house for the next 50 years. Not likely that she will, she's 80. At least she won't have to worry about having the cash. She has it.

As for my insomnia, I believe some of that is due to what I have seen over the years. I was both in the military and after that a spook. I have seen truly horrible things. . I was raised in a kind and gracious home. That may have been the reason it was so hard to understand why humans are so petty, vindictive, and in the end so very cruel. Regarding what I've seen, I still have nightmares. Perhaps thats why I don't sleep well. I don't want to fall asleep bcause if I do, I'l just relive those horrors over and over. And yes, I have had several MD's check me out. They say I am totaly sane, and according to the shrink, I'm just suffering from PDSD.

As for my primary doctor, he knows I admire his humor. He never leaves me unless he has looked at all the options. He is not pompas. He will very quickly ask the advice of other MD's if he is not sure of the answer. It would be nice if I could take a pill and not dream. But that may not be a good idea. The brain will go threw REM sleep which is the time we have most of our dreaming. It seems to "clear the cobwebs out". It's specific reason we don't know. It seems to have nothing to do with the conservation of energy, far from it. We also know those deprived of sleep because of drugs will go insane. Try to slap some one or throw cold water on them, in the end will get you nothing. They will just fall asleep and nothing any one can do will wake them up. Any one who has been in the military will understand this.

By the way, thank you for your kind advice. I have tried every trick in the book. The shrinker did tell me stop looking at a clock. Make use of those several hours other people just don't have. And in the classic example of taking lemons and making lemonaid, I have turned this to my advantage. When the USA sleeps, the rest of the world is wide awake. I take advantage of this for a number of reasons. I do it because I can. After the rest of the world has settled in, I'm crunching the numbers. By the next morning those who heed my suggestions have in the past made a lot of money.

reply to post by arbiture


I'm sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you and that I couldn't be of any help.

I wonder if you might find something useful in this thread about Neurofeedback, to help with the PDSD.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

What you wrote about making your own way in the desert struck a chord with me. Much as I've been grateful for my friends, and appreciated them, they've been a bit few and far between. I've often found myself alone. Of course it makes you stronger but sometimes you wonder if you really want to be all that tough

It's good to know that your doctor isn't so bad.

As for the dreams, I can only sympathize. I suffer night terrors and all too often I've felt myself being attacked or convinced that there is something in the room with me. I tried a homeopathic remedy, Belladonna, which is recommended for children who suffer bad dreams. I think it helped.

Saying 'well done' to you for turning this to your advantage (and that of others) sounds terribly condescending, but I do admire you for what you're accomplishing.