I don't remember my past.

I'm 19 years old. Something happened to me when I was 13 years old and my mind really got messed up. I completely basically forgot almost everything that happened to me in the past. Like for the period of time for when I was 14 years old to 17 years old I forgot my past and I have gained false memories from what has happened in the past, and, I forgot these. I only remember what has really happened to me since I turned 18 years old. I'm afraid to talk to a therapist about this. I know I had a lot of issues at the time but that's no excuse for what happened. What should I do? Should I talk to a therapist?

[edit on 5-4-2009 by Frankidealist35]

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Hi Frank,

First let me say that there is nothing wrong with you. We are all unique in different ways, and mysterious and inexplicable events happen to and around us on a daily basis.

The memory is a very complicated thing to say the least. Its true nature and its operational functionality are largely mysteries to science. There is just so much more to it that we are able to understand.

I myself don't remember almost anything from before I was 7 years old. I to this day forget way more about recent events than I can remember. But for some reason I can remember the words to almost every song I ever heard. The few details from my childhood that sometimes come to mind are indistinguishable from fantasies. Like many other people they contain a mix of truth and what I probably wished at the time to be true, but for the most part it might as well have happened to another person.

The mind just like the body contains many fuses and self protection/preservation mechanisms. When severe traumatic events occur in our formative years they often lead to the memory defaulting into "safety" mode in order to protect itself and the mind. The problem is that for the most part these mechanisms, once switched on, are not easy to reverse. So what happens is that long past the triggering events themselves are long gone, the mind still approaches life in that same mode.

I am speaking in semi-general terms of course. I obviously am not aware of your past and the specifics of your situation. The most important thing in my opinion is the recognition and awareness that what is happening to you is natural and just the end result of a once needed self preservation mechanism.

Once that is realized there are many options before you. For some therapy is beneficial for others it's meditation. I suggest exploring all possible avenues and discover which one works best for you.

Remember that most of this stuff isn't really yours, it is just life suffering and junk that you've stored away for your own protection. As such there's no need to be afraid of this process. Consider it an invitation to become familiar and at peace whith the person you truly are.

I am always here and available should you need to talk things out.

And thank you for having the courage to share your innermost feelings with us.

SD


[edit on 5 Apr 2009 by schrodingers dog]

reply to post by Frankidealist35


that seems rather drab young dudeski.
but how do you not remember anything. it seems like a bit of a story to me. you must have family. they would know. there would be photos and all that.

I can think a few things that can make a young man forget things from the ages of 13-17. :w: You might have to be a bit more specific for us to help you out..

Is there any chance that you suffered a brain injury?
Even falling down and bumping your head hard enough can cause this if there is even a temporary loss of consciousness.
That happened to me when I was 20, and as a result I have a few missing years.

reply to post by AccessDenied


You're totally right.

I couldn't remember my good friend's name just yesterday,it was driving me mad.
I could remember everything else,just not his name..arrrggghhhh!.

I still remember what colour water-pistol I picked when I was three though.
Remember working out algorithms,differential co-efficients from high school
Remember songs/lyrics

Just for some reason names and names of places started disappearing after fire/ouch/hospital
So frustrating.:bnghd::bnghd:

It was "Gideon" BTW.. I just remembered this morning.

[edit on 5-4-2009 by AGENT_T]

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Is there any chance that you suffered a brain injury?
Even falling down and bumping your head hard enough can cause this if there is even a temporary loss of consciousness.
That happened to me when I was 20, and as a result I have a few missing years.

Sorry you were hurt. I hope things are ok with you now. Is it easy to cope with a memory "gap" in ones life? Does it get easier as life progresses? do you have flashes of memories sparked by unusual events of daily life. Any deja vus?

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Nothing wrong in talking to a therapist. Just stay away from the quacks. Find a specialist, preferably referred to you by another doctor. THe thing to keep wary is the cost of the treatments. Because the treatment will be gradual and the costs incurred will be ongoing. Also consider a hypnotherapist and regression therapy. But do what ever you do, with the advise of a medical person.

Wish you all the best. And be positive.

Originally posted by KromeDragon

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Is there any chance that you suffered a brain injury?
Even falling down and bumping your head hard enough can cause this if there is even a temporary loss of consciousness.
That happened to me when I was 20, and as a result I have a few missing years.

Sorry you were hurt. I hope things are ok with you now. Is it easy to cope with a memory "gap" in ones life? Does it get easier as life progresses? do you have flashes of memories sparked by unusual events of daily life. Any deja vus?

Depends.I prefer to not recall "HOW" I got hurt..and aside from missing memories of when my son's were young, it's better I not recall anything.
I still have gaps over the years too. My mind seems to have a filter due to life experience, and I seem to retain mostly only the good things that I choose to remember.
That's just my experience though, and i don't want to dominate the thread as it should be focused on the original post.

Thanks for all the help!

reply to post by spearhead

I really don't know to be honest myself. I recognized that I don't remember my past when my family members have been asking me about my past and they're like "we went here a while ago" and I'm like I don't remember every single time. I don't know what caused it to happen myself.

Yes, if it bothers you then I would go talk with a therapist.

On my birthday this year I realized I have no memory of ever having a birthday cake or party during my childhood. This is illogical as I had a loving family.

I have no one to ask as I am the oldest living member in my family. So, I'm considering seeing some one that may help me to remember because it does bother me.

Best wishes to you in your search for your past.