So... I really shouldn't have, but in the interest of giving second chances, I decided I would tune into Fox news to see if they've become anything of a news source.


5 MINUTES.
I couldn't listen to that woman talk for more than 5 minutes!

Who does the voice training?! It sounded like someone was repeatedly punching her in the diaphragm at the beginning of random syllables!


So, after five minutes of listening to this ridiculous speech pattern, I found the remote. It took me a moment to decide whether I should hit mute, or hit the tv with the remote to relieve the overbearing irritation she caused me.

I hit mute, and turned the captions on.


After a while of reading her saying the exact same thing about 12 times, I got bored and looked back up at her face.

I hadn't really noticed before, because I was too distracted by her horrible gut convulsing speech pattern, but I noticed it now...
She looked ANGRY.
She looked like someone who's just coming down from a heroin rage, her eyes darting around like she was looking for a child to eat!


I can't imagine the hiring process...

"Would you say you're a vengeful megalomaniac with tendencies of rage?"

"YES....! .... YES I DO.... ... YES.... "
*breathes heavily.

"Perfect."
*interviewer checks off : [Does her voice make you want to slit her throat?] and [does she repeat herself when out of things to say?]



That was just about all I could take.

I'll tell ya, tuning into CBC and hearing a semi-sophisticated voice after that was akin to lying in a warm bath, aromatherapy candles lit, and Enya playing in the background.


Their website isn't much better.