Putting it all in perspective

Got this in an email today. It is sad but true.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you
will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one
year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of
shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if
you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer,
then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have
received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is
to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg. A recent study found
that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found
that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means
that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you
proud to be an American!

lol Star and flag.
Did not realize I'm getting about 30mpg more than my v6 cavalier O.o