Curious question (Parents and old peoples homes)

the way we are brought up is to respect our parents,
they feed us,clothe us when we are young

how many people here would put their parents in a old persons home
and why

and who would keep them at home and take care of them.

for me i will be keeping my mother home
since thats the payment i give for what i got as a child.

There are many variables to everyones situation.
It would depend on whether you can devote as much time to your parent as they need , without sacrificing too much of your own life. A lot of marriages have been stressed to the breaking point over this issue. A proper facility that can take care of your parent, should be an option, if it is within close proximity to you, and affordable, and well maintained with caring staff. The problem is that many people forget to visit due to busy lives of their own, and the parent feels neglected. It's difficult for a child to take care of a parent with dementia or Alzheimers, or a physical disability. Some parents would not want to be looked after by their own children. They may feel a loss of dignity especially if incontinent, or need aid in bathing.
When I was a child, I helped look after my father who was bedridden for 3 years, while my mother worked long hours to pay the bills. It was very hard for both of us. He passed away in hospital, where they made him as comfortable as possible.
When my mother became infirm, there was no question that I wanted her to be home, where I could look after her. She wouldn't here of it. She knew how difficult it would be. Two days before she was to come home from the hospital, she passed away. I believe it was what she wanted.
Of course it is natural for us to want to give back to our parents all the kindness that was shown to us growing up. It just may not always be what is best for them. It's not always a black and white situation.

reply to post by bodrul


hmm, my dad is still arround, well sense my parents abandoned me at age 12 and left me to raise myself. I guess I would have to say to heck with him. I guess if he gets too on in years he's on his own.

My grandma is 86 years old, she also just had open heart surgery. With me, being a single mom of a 2 year old boy, I am taking care of my grandma. My mom was an alcoholic who was never around and my dad was working all the time, my grandma is my everything (next to my son). I sacrafice a whole lot just because I love her and want to take care of her, because she has taken care of me. But for my dad, he worked all the time and was very physically, mentally and emotionally abusive towards me (even till this day, but not physically) so I dont give a crap about him and I don't care what happens to him. But for my grandma, I will take care of her till the day she dies.