The Birthday Party........ And Stuff.............

I've been planning my Son's 6th birthday for a little while now. I can't believe that he is going to be 6.
Anyway.....................
Friday is the big day! He has various therapies Monday - Thursday during the Summer, but he has none on Fridays. So copying Santa Claus, I made my list and checked it twice.
It started out as a nice little party for him with all of his friends, and cousins. They come over, swim in the pool, jump on the trampoline, play on the playset from hell, run around in the backyard, eat lot's of birthday party type foods and cakes, do some grilling, and just have a fun time.
HAH!
This morning Satan - I mean my lovely wife - gave me her list, and I take a look at it. I see what she ordered.

I woke up from my momentary coma sayin' Huh? What?

A magician. Ok, that's cool.
A clown. A freakin' clown? I hate clowns. Can't we find a magician who will dress up like a clown?
3 party tents. THREE?
5 long tables, and 5 dozen chairs.
7 dozen balloons.
2 Kegs of beer, several bottles of wine and champagne. BEER? WINE? CHAMPAGNE? Huh?
A roast pig.

At this point I'm not even close to half way down her list.

"Ermmmm..... what is all this for?"

"Your son's birthday. Don't you want him to have fun?"

"Ermmmm of course I do. I just thought we would serve the 5 & 6 year olds juice and soda. I never thought about serving them beer."

"The party starts at 1:00 in the afternoon for the kids and us moms. Then everyone else is coming over at 6:00pm."

"Who is everyone else?"

"The kids fathers, our neighbors, his teachers & Bus Driver, Uncle Vince & Maria are coming up from Avalon with their kids, and Joey and Vicky are coming down from New York, plus a couple other people. I thought I told you. Oh well, I guess I didn't."

"Yeah I guess you forgot to tell me that part."

"Oh and Vince, Maria, Joey, Vicky and the kids are spending the night."

Great. Just great. So I continue down the list. I hate this list.

"A moon bouncer?"

"You're such a jerk. You don't want your son to have a nice birthday? The kids will love the moon bouncer."

"Ermmmmm.....isn't that why we have the trampoline?" (Mind you the trampoline is 14 feet around - it isn't tiny.)

"The kids have already played on that trampoline. They're bored with it. They need something else."

SERENITY NOW!

So I continue down the list........

A Pony? A freakin' Pony? Are you kidding me? I'll put on a donkey mask and give piggy back rides to all of the kids. A freakin' pony...................

The list continues.

"Mint leaves? What the heck is that for?"

"I told the lawn people to spread mint leaves on the lawn before they cut it. That way the whole yard smells like mint after it's cut."

Yeah. That's important.

"Oh and by the way, maybe the roast pig isn't a good idea. We have some people coming who are opposed to pork."

"That's why I ordered the Filet, and the Brisquet."

So now I'm thinkin' 'Why did I decide to come back? I made a clean break. Maybe she's right. I am an idiot'.

She says "By the way I need you to make your potato salad, cole slaw, and marinated chicken breast."

"How many people are coming?"

"Around 100 or so."

I say "This is a birthday party for a six year old."

"Stop being such a jerk. I thought you loved your son. He deserves a decent party."

So, me being the genius I am I decide to throw out a flippant remark.

"Oh look. You forgot to order a bushel of crabs."

She says "Oh my god you're right. I knew I forgot something!" and she whips out her handy dandy cell phone and walks out onto the deck as she makes a call.

I hear from behind me:

"Daddy?"

"DUDE!"

"Am I going to have a party with my friends?"

"You bet you are Buddy!"

"Is it going to be fun?"

"The best ever!"

"Are you going to throw me in the air in the pool Daddy?"

"You bet."

"Can you tell me a birthday story?"

"Anytime you want."

"I love you Daddy."

"Loves ya too little Dude."

How come I just can't be mad right now, when I was furious 1 minute ago? Ahhhhhhh, as I always say. Don't sweat the small stuff, and act as though every 10 minutes are your very last.

I can't wait for this party........... but a freakin' pony?

reply to post by lombozo


Well that was funny as the standup tv I am watching right now on comedy central. Seriously, I was crackin' up reading your post (Imagining other birthdays like the 16th, 18th, and 21st). Enjoy the party and if were all still here report on those older ones too haha they should be blowouts!

Addition to the list..
A big shovel and pail..

The mint smell won't cover up everything after that pony...

(hangs head in shame) Because you have made me feel really guilty because my son's b'day was June 27 and even though we had our family party which was great, I'm still promising him his 'friends' party and it's almost been a month. Although now I'm thinking about keeping low key. I wouldn't want my son's party to overshadow 'little Lom's' party.

Heck, you might as well go ahead and add a car to the list since you will have to buy him one in about ten yrs anyway. I'm just saying.


Rush