Ladies! I'm finally ready to have children!

reply to post by ChiKeyMonKey


" That's enuff from YOU young man."

How DARE YOU to suppose better? lolololol

~Ducky~

Originally posted by TheDuckster
Are you asking these questions because of your past? Are you trying to fufill an inner need to prove things to yourself...or perhaps your mother (immediate family) right now. Why are you having these feelings?

Well, it's hard to say. See, I'll give you some background to my history with children.

I have 3 older sisters. 38,40,42. They ALL have children. Two of them have 2 kids. the other has one kid. I grew up watching this and I found them to be miserable taking care of these kids. One of my sisters divorced and there was lots of abuse in their household. I said to myself, "I don't want this for myself". Having kids must be horrible. Seeing as my sisters complained about the kids all the time.

I didn't see my sisters as being happy for having kids and I don't think they planned it. they got pregnant young. under 30. I, in the other hand stood behind and watched, and babysitted. Now, I been told that i'm the best uncle in universe. i am like a father to my nephews. However, I never wanted to have children with my exwife because we didn't own a home. Still here in san diego it's very hard to own a home, at least for a single guy. I can't afford 600K.

About my mother. Well, I feel a responsibility to be with my mom. she's sick, she used to be an alcoholic, her liver is now shutting down. She's only 67. But my sisters don't give a damn about her, they never visit her, even during xmas she is all alone. Basically, no one cares for my mom, but me. My sisters all live in their own little worlds and they hate my mother for being an alcoholic and putting them straight when they were teenagers. So, i'm stuck right now and that's my situation. So someone said I wasn't being serious. Well, I am.

And then, I was thinking..well, how come my sisters can have kids and ignore my mother? and I can't have kids and move on? Should I completely leave my mom to die or have kids and move on? those are the questions and my situation.

Originally posted by jedimiller
Hello ladies. Well, seems that at 35 i've kinda matured. Still don't have a career, collecting Star Wars toys and living with mom. Still, I think it's time for me to move on. So, today I decided to have children. This could be a good thing for the chosen one. Now, I'm not here to ask for anyone to carry my children. That's against the Terms of Service. Not a personals site. Just saying, i'm ready you know? and if you ladies could give me some advice i'm all ears.

i think the original post should have been worded "ladies, im ready to PAY child support"


sorry, im just joshin' with ya jedi.
i couldnt resist

reply to post by Obliv_au


That would require a good paying job, if Iam correct. He's somewhat lacking there.

Originally posted by jedimiller
Well, it's hard to say. See, I'll give you some background to my history with children.

I have 3 older sisters. 38,40,42. They ALL have children. Two of them have 2 kids. the other has one kid. I grew up watching this and I found them to be miserable taking care of these kids. One of my sisters divorced and there was lots of abuse in their household. I said to myself, "I don't want this for myself". Having kids must be horrible. Seeing as my sisters complained about the kids all the time.

I didn't see my sisters as being happy for having kids and I don't think they planned it. they got pregnant young. under 30. I, in the other hand stood behind and watched, and babysitted. Now, I been told that i'm the best uncle in universe. i am like a father to my nephews. However, I never wanted to have children with my exwife because we didn't own a home. Still here in san diego it's very hard to own a home, at least for a single guy. I can't afford 600K.

About my mother. Well, I feel a responsibility to be with my mom. she's sick, she used to be an alcoholic, her liver is now shutting down. She's only 67. But my sisters don't give a damn about her, they never visit her, even during xmas she is all alone. Basically, no one cares for my mom, but me. My sisters all live in their own little worlds and they hate my mother for being an alcoholic and putting them straight when they were teenagers. So, i'm stuck right now and that's my situation. So someone said I wasn't being serious. Well, I am.

And then, I was thinking..well, how come my sisters can have kids and ignore my mother? and I can't have kids and move on? Should I completely leave my mom to die or have kids and move on? those are the questions and my situation.

Jedi, that is a lovely post. Good to see some deeper sharing going on rather than the light hearted surface stuff.

I read your first post and didn't think you were serious and yes, the responses have been quite brutal but honest.

I feel the majority of posts here state, if you are not in a position to look after yourself, then how can you look after a child?

Well, the above post shows me that your already taking care of your Mum and I also understand the 'real' reasons why you have not wanted to have kids. To see your family raising children and seeing how they have coped would be a very real reason to be hesitant.

I feel too, the fact you didn't want to have children with your ex wife because you didn't have a house shows that perhaps you feel the same as the majority of posters here?

I respect the fact that you are looking after your Mother.

Kudos to you for that.

its always better to be the cool uncle. being a father is not even close.

I have yet to see a reason for wanting kids. Because everyone else has them? Because people say you are a good uncle?

None of this has anything to do with how you feel about kids. So far your only comments on that matter have been that they are a hassle and an inconvenience.

reply to post by jedimiller


Mein groupie, I'll say it again - don't rush into anything. Find the right one first.

I personally love children and would be excited to have a child before I die - but that still doesn't mean I'm going to do anything stupid and make a baby with the wrong one....

reply to post by jedimiller


When you have a child, you no longer get to BE the child.

Women, as gatekeepers of the gene pool, look for gainfully employed, not living with your mother, not in possession of more "toys" than they have pairs of shoes. You are so out of luck, dude.

reply to post by whitewave


LOL are you kidding me?

What about all the single moms out there, what about all the women who have kids by deadbeats, misogynists, pimps, gangsters, criminals, drug-dealers etc....

Having a child by a family man with a career or "gainfully employed" may be the ideal for a woman, but isn't always what they end up actually doing

reply to post by MrdDstrbr


very true, we can't always control what our baby daddies end up doing with their lives.

...................

Jedi, you know it could be just your biological clock (I'm sure men have them too) and being that your sisters all have families and your mom is getting older and less healthy, you want her to experience grandkids from you too.

whatever you decide to do with yourself, just make sure the woman you choose is just as much involved in the decision as you are. I've heard of women tricking men into relationships with babies, don't do the same.. it never turns out well.

Here's a little tid-bit for you guys. I'm 21 years old, my girlfriend is 23. Guess what? We have a 1 year old son together and it was planned. There is no wrong age to have children (unless you're in your 50's or 60's).

Jedi, I don't know what to think of you. I'm on the fence about some of your posts, and sometimes I think that you are just trying to get a rise out of people for a cheap laugh. With that aside, I would like to fill you in, and everyone else, on a little daddy info. When I found out my girlfriend was pregnant, I initially freaked out. The thought of bringing a child into such a chaotic world seemed like a really bad decision (even-though we had planned on having a baby). But when you hold your child for the first time and watch them grow up in front of you, the BS of the world starts to take a back seat to what is really important. FAMILY.

Now I'm going to go off on a limb and actually believe that you truly mean what you are saying in this thread (please please please do not make me look like an idiot for believing you) and it is a positive step in the right direction. Don't let these guys here get under your skin about your fondness for Star Wars. Some people do not fully understand what it is to be a fan of SW. It's not just an obsession, it's more of an understanding of a bigger picture. But I digress.

I would recommend that you get yourself into a good relationship and slowly build up the whole baby thing. My personal belief is that you do not truly know a person for at least 3 years (I've been with my lady since I was 15). That may sound a bit naive or even ludacris, but trust me, it takes a long time to fully understand a person's mannerisms and qualities. That is why so many marriages fall apart (due to people being too quick to get hitched and not fully knowing their mate). I have faith that you will get on your feet and find someone who appreciates you and your affinity for the Star Wars culture (that's right, CULTURE, you'll know what I mean).

Kids are smelly only after they...well...you know. It's really not that bad having a child. Granted mine is still young, but it is a great adventure and will really put things into perspective for you. I wish you the best, and maybe you could send me your Boba Fett if you need to get rid of it.



-Droops

[edit on 5-3-2008 by DrOOpieS]