is empathay overrated?

lots of people place value on being empathetic. well i don't. here's why.

first of all i don't EVER just brush ppl off when they need to talk to me about something that's bothering them. never have and never will. i can respect someone who has the strength enough to tell me what's going on with them. however, it gets pretty damn old when your friends are constantly depressed, always moping around, with a chip on their shoulder. like this one buddy of mine. i won't go into detail about his situation but he's down and out. i've let him come and talk to me before, and i've given him advice. but i've noticed something about ppl who are always down. it seems as if they get a kick out of someone ALWAYS feeling sorry for them, and they don't ever seemed to be satisfied unless you feel their pain with them.

that's where i draw the line. i'm not dr phil damn it. i mean i'll help you out, but i'm not gonna make sure you get over your that's not my job. all i can do is tell you what you need to do..but after i give you advice and your situation ain't improvin..DON'T ask me for any help. i mean seriously..it gets to the point to where i don't know what else to say anymore. i'm not gonna sit there and be pitiful with you when i don't know what else to say.

i've been through 2 years of pure and utter hell (yes i know some of you have had hard times that lasted longer..but trust me..these 2 years were equivelant to 2 decades) before. i ain't going in to what was wrong, but those whole 2 years i was dead inside. every day i got out of bed i KNEW my day was going to be filled with nothing but misery and agony. but the whole time it lasted all i did was ride it out. (i balled everything inside too..looking back on it can kinda see why i should have let someone know..but at the same time i take pride in being strong enough to just push through with no help)

my friend's the exact opposite. his hard times are never getting better and he seems to fail to realize that you just have to ride them out. the way he talks to me i get the vibe that he's feeling like giving up. now call me coldhearted, but when you get to that point..what the hell else do you want me to do for you? again, if i've given you my time and advice..and your ain't getting better...then deep down i think you're not using my advice at all, and are just hanging around me just to have a shoulder to cry on. and i ain't got time for that. the world ain't fair..but sometimes i really do think that certain ppl REFUSE to believe that.

*awaits the massive hate he's gonna catch from the ppl who after reading this, thinks he actually IS coldhearted. on that note, let the hate begin*

You don't seem cold hearted at all. In fact, you sound like a caring person.

Haven't you heard the old saying, "Misery loves company"?

Some people thrive on whineing and fussing about their problems. I get so frustrated with people that are always complaining about their illnesses or personal problems. They will not take good advice nor will they change.

At one time I wanted to solve all my friends problems. After working myself into a wreck worring about their problems I had enough of wasting my time and efforts. Let them wallow in their own pity pot.

I'll be the first to help people in need but not over and over.

For some people trouble is a way of life. I won't allow those people drag me down too.

Keep your chin up and keep looking on the bright side of life.

Ain't got no hate for you!

Sounds like a fair enough point of view to have.

I've reached that point with a few friends where you don't want to hear it anymore, and you just want to give them a bit of a slap and say "pull your godamm finger out and quit your boo hooing" In fact it's what some people need to hear.

I'm quite sure some people are hard wired for moaning and misery.

MonKey